Avatar: The Last Airbender/Series1

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Main article: Avatar: The Last Airbender

• Chapter 1-The Caveman in the Glacier: Twins Katana and Sango discover Tang and his flying Triceratops, Tritopappalis, in a glacier near their home in the East Pole. The twins free him and the Caveman gets future shock causing him to mercilessly club the two and run off on his flying Triceratops. After the twins recover they follow the caveman to a Fire Juggler Nation ship.

• Chapter 2-The Missing-Link Returns: On the Fire Juggler Nation ship the Caveman meets Fire Juggler Prince Goku who is searching for his exiled sister Chi-Chi. Katana and Sango attack the ship and the Caveman, Goku, and Goku’s guardian, Uncle Pyro, fight them. During the battle it’s revealed that the Caveman is actually Tang, the Missing-Link and Last Cave-Paintingbender, the only being that can save the Fire Juggler Nation from the nefarious Earth-Water Alliance of ’95. Tang uses his Cave-Paintingbending to defeat the twins and our heroes leave the East Pole for the West Pole because Chi-Chi was rumored to be there. The defeated twins decide that Tang can make them rich and start to pursue our heroes.

• Chapter 3-The Eastern Caveman Temple: Our heroes arrive at Tang’s old home, the Eastern Caveman Temple. There they discover that the Earth-Waterbending EVAs had killed all of the cavemen there. Tang starts to go crazy until Goku and Pyro calm him down. When they go deeper in the temple they meet Totoro, an ancient cave raccoon, and they decide to bring him along. Our 4 heroes enter a giant room filled with Cave Paintings showing the past Missing-Links. Tang activates them and everyone in a 10 mile radius knows that he is back. Meanwhile Earth-Water Prince Shinji gets in a duel with Admiral Cow and defeats him by whining and complaining until Cow’s ears start to bleed and he surrenders.

• Chapter 4-Warriors of Yoshi's Island: Tang and our heroes arrive on Yoshi's Island so Tang can ride Giant Cheep-Cheeps. Once there they are captured by the savage Yoshis and are strung up by their toenails. Tang then wows them with his extensive grasp of the English language and the Yoshis worship him as a god. They tear down their statue of Missing-Link Yoshi and replace it with a Tang statue. But not all of the heroes have a fun time. Goku gets beat up by female Yoshis and Uncle Pyro is jealous because all the Yoshis are all paying attention to Tang and not him. When Shinji and the Earth-Waterbending EVAs attack the island they consider it a lost cause and leave, never looking back.

• Chapter 5-The Crazy Old Man That Rules Over Omashu: The gang reaches the Fire Juggling city of Omashu, once there Tang experiences future shock and assaults a local turnip cart. The Turnip Cart Man complains to the King of Omashu and Tang and company are arrested. They are brought in front of the King for their sentence. Tang and the King, Bamm-Bamm, were old friends but Tang is stupid and the King is senile so they don’t remember each other. The King told our heroes that they would be freed if they can survive his 3 trials. The first challenge was to go down to the nearest Fatty Burger for a Quarter-Pounder with Cheese. The second challenge was to kill Bamm-Bamm’s kangaroo-dinosaur Hoppy. The third and final trial was to beat Bamm-Bamm in a game of 20 Questions; they succeeded the trials and questioned why they even came there.

• Chapter 6-Trapped Like a Rat That Can’t Get Out: Katana and Sango finally catch up to our heroes and capture Tang. They decide to bring him to an EVA Navy ship so they can get the reward money from Gendo. Goku and Uncle Pyro get help from a local Spoonbender to get Tang back. The three heroes, Totoro, and Tritopappalis storm the EVA Navy Ship and with the help of the imprisoned Spoonbenders defeat the Earth-Water troops on the ship. They then battle Katana and Sango ending in the two siblings getting thrown overboard along with some EVA power cores, but during the battle Goku loses his favorite Dragonball. After our heroes leave Shinji comes by and finds Goku’s Dragonball, dramatic music then plays.

Only you can prevent forest fires, and if you don't I'll fuckin' kill ya!

• Chapter 7-Land of the Lost (Spring Solstice Part 1): Tang and the gang come to a forest village that has been plagued by a horrible bear monster. Being the Missing-Link Tang tries to aid the village by calming the monster down. The plan turns badly when Tang fails to calm the beast and the bear monster kidnaps Uncle Pyro. Tang gives chase but loses the monster in the woods. When Tang returns to the village he discovers that no one can see him, he then figures out that he’s ended up in the legendary plain of reality called the Land of the Lost. Suddenly he meets a giant Snorkasaurus who was sent by the Missing-Link before Tang, Missing-Link Fred Flintstone. The Snorkasaurus takes Tang to Fred Flintstone who is at the Earth-Water Temple. Fred tells Tang that he must come back here before the Spring Solstice ends because Fred has important information to tell him. After speaking with Fred Tang is brought to the normal plain and calms the bear monster who is discovered to be Smokey the Bear. Smokey got fed up with telling people to prevent forest fires and decided to take up being a forest-saving vigilante. Smokey goes back to the Land of the Lost and Uncle Pyro is saved, now Tang and the gang must hurry to the Earth-Water Temple. Meanwhile Prince Shinji has to save General Uncle Iroh from a bunch of Fire-Juggler Soldiers and their Not-Chocobos that kidnapped him while he was definitely NOT sleeping! Shinji frees Iroh and then the two kick the soldiers’ asses

• Chapter 8-Missing-Link Flintstone (Spring Solstice Part 2): Tang and friends fly to the Earth-Water Temple Island to meet Fred Flintstone. But on the way they get caught in an Earth-Water Solstice Celebration in which they catapult flaming boulders in the air. After making it through the celebration they crash into the Earth-Water Temple of No Return, there Tang contacts Fred by eating some mushrooms he found on the floor. Fred tells Tang that this war started with the appearance of the Second Impact and it has been prophesized that come winter the Third Impact shall occur, which allows the Earth-Water Alliance an easy victory. Fred tells Tang that he must learn the other 3 Secret Bendings, Salsabending, Discobending, and Angelbending before the Third Impact occurs. Fred tells Tang that Master Takko of the West Pole can teach him Salsabending. Our heroes than leave without any trouble; making the Earth-Water Alliance to change the temple’s name to the Earth-Water Temple of Easy Access.

• Chapter 9-Pirates vs. Ninjas, Who Will Reign Supreme?: Our heroes enter the Unnamed Village by the Sea; as soon as they get there they are attacked by pirates led by Monkey D. Luffy. After a long and boring battle that had many casualties Tang and the Gang get run into the woods. There they meet up with Shinji, who has hired a troop of ninjas to track them down. Shinji tells our heroes that he had hired the ninjas so they could find Prince Goku so Shinji can give his Dragonball back. Goku goes into a blind rage and attacks Shinji and the Ninjas. Suddenly the Pirates attack, now led by the Turnip Cart Guy who wants revenge for Tang and the gang destroying his turnip cart/house. He ordered his hired pirate goons to break their legs and kill them slowly. Luffy suddenly returns to become leader again and the Pirates attack the Ninjas instead because everyone knows that pirates and ninjas have been mortal enemies since the dawn of time. Tang and the gang run away, once again never to look back.

• Chapter 10-Jet Black: Tang and the Gang were telling ghost stories by the campfire when Earth-Waterbending EVAs suddenly jumped out of the bushes. A large spaceship then crashed into the EVAs. A middle-aged man and the rest of his cohorts come out of the ship and greet Tang. The man, Jet Black, offers Tang and the Gang to stay the night aboard his ship; our heroes take the offer. Uncle Pyro becomes great chums with Jet but Goku thinks he’s up to no good. Goku thinks this because Jet shot the T.V. set through while Goku was watching his favorite program, The World’s Biggest Dams. Later that night when Jet and his pals leave Goku follows them. Tang and Uncle Pyro wake up and notice that there is no food on the ship so they go out and look for a Fatty Burger stand. On the way the two run into Jet; there they realize that Jet and his cohorts had strapped Goku to a dam covered in explosives. Jet tells the two about his hatred of dams and how he thinks that they all need to die. Uncle Pyro feels betrayed because he absolutely loves dams. Uncle Pyro gives Jet a blast of his Fire Juggling which melts his skin causing him to stick to a tree. Our heroes free Goku from the dam and they all ride off on Tritopappalis. Jet soon dies from 3rd degree burns and his friend Spike swears vengeance.

• Chapter 11-The Big Hole in the Ground: Tang and the Gang are being chased by Katana and Sango. The twins chase our heroes off a cliff and into a big hole and for some reason Tritopappalis can't fly. The gang must find way out of the hole on foot; there they discover neighboring fast food joints that are at war with each other. The fast food joints are blocking the way out so Tang has to settle their dispute if the gang wants to escape. The Fast Food Joints tell two exciting tales about their two founders, Ronald McDonald and Colonel Sanders The KFC Clan tell how Ronald McDonald tricked Colonel Sanders into building his restaurants in this giant hole claiming that the real estate was good and the location would attract a lot of customers. The McDonalds Guild told a heart-wrenching tale about how Colonel Sanders threw their restaurants into the same giant hole; then the brutish Colonel laughed at Ronald as he kicked dirt in his face. Tang, being the Missing-Link and a master mediator of disputes, told them that the only thing that would solve this dispute is to finish it with the bloodiest war to end all wars. Everyone died on both sides and their bloody corpses attracted giant beetles. Miraculously our heroes use the beetles to climb up the cliff walls and escape the giant hole in the ground.

Cow and Asuka watch with glee as Shinji gets his ass handed to him in Mahjong Kai. Iroh's shocked because he forgot to bring his camera.

• Chapter 12-Shinji Angsts: This episode starts off with a thunderstorm and because Prince Shinji hates rainy days he whines and complains more than usual. His crew, always fed up with his whining, jumped overboard because they could not take it anymore. Shinji seeing that he was only person on the EVA Navy ship tells himself the story of why his father hates him so much. It started several years ago when Shinji drank way too much Melonade and needed to go to the bathroom. Shinji, being the stupid young kid that he was, ran into Earth-Water Alliance War Room during a strategy meeting between Gendo, Iroh, and Gendo's other generals. Shinji, not being able to hold it in, relieved himself right where he stood. Gendo told his son that he had disgraced him for Shinji had soiled Gendo's favorite war rug. Gendo tells Shinji that because of the crime that he has committed he shall meet his punishment in the Arena. The guards give Shinji a new pair of pants and then lead him to the Arena. In the Arena Shinji had to face Gendo in a heated game of Mahjong Kai. Shinji said how much he hates Mahjong; Gendo was appalled by this for Mahjong was the official and most beloved game of the Earth-Water Alliance of '95. In a pure blind hatred to his whiny son he splashed water in his face causing Shinji to trip over the Mahjong table, breaking it. Gendo was even more infuriated because that was his favorite Mahjong table; he then exiled Shinji from the Earth-Water Alliance of '95 on the grounds of him ruining Gendo's really cool stuff.

• Chapter 13-The Purple Spooky Thing: This episode opens up with Tang having a nightmare. In it he is taking Tritopappalis for a midnight flight, but Tritopappalis ate too much and had violent diarrhea. Tritopappalis can’t fly anymore because of it and crashes into a tar pit. A few days later the Ice Age occurred, freezing the tar pit into a glacier made of tar. Tang wakes up from his dream and discovers that Prince Goku and Uncle Pyro both have violent diarrhea. Tang knows they will not be able to leave because of their physical ailments and goes out to search for some Pepto-Bismol. As soon as he leaves the cave the gang was sleeping in he gets captured by Earth-Waterbending EVAs. Shinji’s Avatar Senses tingle informing him that Tang has been captured by someone else. So in an act of desperation he dresses up in his Halloween costume from last year and goes out to search for Tang. For the majority of the time Tang was captured in the EVA Navy Base Admiral Cow was laughing at him and throwing peanuts at his head; that’s when Shinji bursts in. Cow takes one look at the cheap latex mask and runs away screaming, “Purple Spooky Thing!” After Shinji and Tang escape the Base Shinji lets Tang free in the woods. Tang runs off to the nearest Walgreen’s and buys a bottle of Pepto Bismol; then he goes back to his allies to cure them.

• Chapter 14: The Senile Old Lady That Makes Crap Up-Our heroes were skipping merrily down the trail when they ran into a hiker being attacked by platypus-bear-tiger-seahorse-mobile. They tried to help the guy but he told Tang and the gang that he paid $50 to get his fortune told by some crazy old lady that was wandering the streets. She told him that if he was attacked on the trail he should absolutely do nothing to stop it. Our heroes kept walking down the path leaving the man to be ripped apart by the beast. Pretty soon they came to a nearby village. All the villagers were rallying and protesting about the Earth-Water Alliance dumping their radioactive EVA Power Cores into their rivers and forests causing the local wildlife to mutate into mutant hybrids. Then a tiny old lady in a witch’s hat came out from a back alley and predicted that if they went up and fought the Earth-Waterbending EVAs that all their problems would be solved. Everyone grabbed their pitchforks and left the town. Tang and company followed the old lady into the back alley, they all sat down and she made her prediction. She predicts that Goku shall die several times but shall be revived each time. She tells Uncle Pyro that he will fall in love with a prehistoric being. Finally she tells Tang that he will save this village from a volcanic eruption. The Fortune Teller tells them that it will cost them $150 dollars for all 3 predictions. They can’t pay the money so the Fortune Teller sics her pet sewer rat, Meng, on our heroes. Our heroes stumble out of the alley battered and bruised and Meng the Sewer Rat throws a sack full of business cards at them and threatened them “To Fuckin’ Tell Everyone About Baba the Fortune Teller.” Our heroes fly off on Tritopappalis in a huff just as the volcano erupted bathing the town in molten hot lava.

Piccolo is not amused with this episode stating, "For the last time I'm not a cucumber or a musical instrument, SPECIAL BEAM CANNON!"

• Chapter 15: Piccolo of the Fire Juggler Nation -Instead of sleeping in the forest our heroes stayed the night at a Comfort Inn. The next morning after eating their continental breakfast they are all ready to go back to their room to watch “quality” TV. After an hour of the only channel on TV, the Oppressive Earth-Water Alliance Network, they were summoned to the front desk. There they met Piccolo, Prince Goku’s and Uncle Pyro’s long lost friend. There were a lot of hugging and sappy reunion stories which bored Tang so he decided to check out the hotel perfume shop. Meanwhile, Prince Shinji hired a bounty hunter named Samus Aran to track down Tang. Samus, using her pet Metroid, went out to locate Tang. Back at the perfume shop, Uncle Pyro and Goku had way too much coffee and desperately needed to go the bathroom. In their absence Piccolo realized why he came there and gave a letter to Tang and then quickly left to do more creepy green cucumber stuff. Tang, still hungry because all they had at the continental breakfast was stale waffles, decided to eat the letter, but not before reading it. The message talked about the whereabouts of Goku’s exiled sister, Chi-Chi, and where to find her exactly. A few minutes after Tang ate it Samus and her Metroid entered the hotel. Tang being a simple creature didn’t know what the Metroid was so he ran to the perfume shop for cover. In the perfume shop the Metroid knocked over a display case, causing the hotel manager to kick Samus and her Metroid out. The two then decided from that day on they would retire from bounty hunting to become Mormons. At that exact moment it is was check-out time; as they left the hotel flaming ash and molten lava from the same volcano as last episode rained down from the sky when they only got 10 feet away from the village.

• Chapter 16: The Guy That Gendo Wants Dead-While on the trail Tang and the gang discover a flyer for a Earth-Water Festival and since that the only form of entertainment they’ve had for awhile was watching trees grow they decided to check it out. They all put on false moustaches and snuck in past the city gates. Inside Tang desperately needed to go to the bathroom; while he was in the washroom he saw two kids having toilet Waterbending fights. One of the kids accidentally hits Tang knocking off his false moustache. The bathroom was surrounded by guards in mere seconds. A man just stepped out of one of the stalls. He took one look at Tang and decided that he needed to help him out of here. The man and Tang got of the bathroom using secret tunnels that led outside of the town; there Tang’s friends were waiting for him. The man led Tang to his master, Kozo Kozo Fuyutsuki Fuyutsuki, Gendo’s former second-in-command. Kozo Kozo tells Tang that he can teach him Angelbending but Tang declined the offer, saying that he wasn’t ready yet. Kozo Kozo insisted and the two started Angelbending training. Within seconds of the training Tang had summoned up an Angel. Tang couldn’t control it causing the Angel to stumble around and step on Uncle Pyro’s hand. Pyro ran off in the woods crying and Tang went after him to apologize. Before Tang could reach Pyro Admiral Cow jumped out of the shadows and pushed Tang into the mud. Tang became furious and started to bash Cow’s face in with his club. Tang then walked up to Cow’s EVA Navy Fleet and set them all on fire. Finally he kicked dirt into Cow’s face and gave him an atomic wedgie. Uncle Pyro took a couple pain-killers and wrapped his hand up in bandages, making him feel better. Then Tang and our heroes flew off on Tritopappalis, completely forgetting about Kozu Kozu and Tang’s training.

• Chapter 17: The Western Caveman Temple-Our heroes make it to the Western Caveman Temple; there they discover its being completely renovated. Tang goes into a mad fit of rage and started beating the construction workers to death. Soon Tang and the gang were overwhelmed and brought before the foreman. Our heroes discover that the foreman is actually a young Alchemybender named Edward Elric. He told them that they found this place abandoned so they decided to build their Alchemybending Headquarters named Central at this spot. Tang runs off crying and soon Pyro and Goku become best buddies with Edward. Tang meets a living suit of armor named Alphonse and they become friends. Al leads Tang to a door that hasn’t been opened in ages. Tang opens it with his Cave-Paintingbending and the two discover the room filled with EVAs. Tang pulled out his club, ready to bash Edward’s skull in. When he reaches the young Alchemybender, Ed tells him a tragic story about how the Earth-Water forces came to the temple. The Earth-Water forces ordered the Alchemybenders to build them EVAs or else they’d pinch them until they cried. So from then Edward was secretly building EVAs for the Earth-Water Alliance, in the process losing one of his arms and one of his legs. Suddenly two Earth-Water officials came to collect the EVAs. Tang beat up the two officials with his club and the two ran off to call for backup. Pretty soon hundreds of EVAs surrounded the temple. The EVAs were too heavy causing the ledge they were all standing on to collapse causing them to blow up at the bottom of the gorge, killing all the pilots. Everyone rejoiced and had many parties; then Ed and Al got fired for slacking on the job.

• Chapter 18: The Salsabending Master-Our heroes finally reach the West Pole in the Salsabending Capital of Cancun, there they meet Master Takko. Master Takko begins Tang's Salsabending training so Uncle Pyro and Goku decide to explore the city for Chi-Chi. While looking around Goku falls in love with the beautiful Princess of Cancun, Princess Margarita and falls in love with her. Meanwhile Admiral Cow learns about the whereabouts of Tang and gathers together a massive EVA invasion fleet, including Shinji’s crew. When he takes control of Shinji’s troops he spies the two butter knives that the Purple Spooky Thing had used; the Admiral puts 2 and 2 together and decides to assassinate Shinji. After he leaves the ship Cow hires Monkey D. Luffy and his crew to blow up Shinji’s ship which they perform expertly much to the rejoice of General Uncle Iroh who just left the ship for a stroll. Shinji barely escapes with his life and suddenly starts to feel a strong feeling, bravery. Using his new-found courage Shinji dresses up as an Earth-Water Alliance Soldier and sneaks on one of Cow’s ship so he can capture Tang before Cow does. Meanwhile Uncle Pyro returns with information that Chi-Chi had just recently left Cancun and was heading for the Discobending Capital, Boogietown. With Tang finished with his Salsabending Master training already the two go out to search for Goku and tell him the news.

• Chapter 19: Siege of the West (Part 1)-Tang and Pyro finally run into Goku and tell him the news. Sirens then sound getting everyone up from their siesta. Thousands of EVA battleships were closing in fast. Everyone hopped on their burros and went to the palace. There Head Chef Juan Carlos fills his people and our heroes in about what is going on. He tells everyone a plan that entailed a select few to infiltrate the EVA Navy armada. He then took out a sombrero and started to pick names from it. Goku’s was picked and they slapped Earth-Water armor on him and threw out the door. He stumbled to his feet and knocked over a pottery cart. Juan Carlos told Goku that he is too clumsy and unreliable to perform this mission so Goku is given the ever important task to guard Princess Margarita. Tang hops on Tritopappalis and heads for the armada. Tang uses his Cave-Paintingbending sinking several ships; he then grew hungry and then turned back. The armada breaks through the outer walls and our heroes seek refuge in the most sacred place in the West Pole, a cave which holds a magical pool of tequila.

An EVA and EVA Navy Battleship attacking the West Pole city of Cancun.

• Chapter 20: Siege of the West (Part 2)-Prince Shinji, who was on board on one of Cow’s ships, gets the crazy idea to jump ship and swim the whole way. Shinji crawls up a sewage pipe and because of the smell of human feces and alligator-goldfish saps him of any courage he had gained. Meanwhile at the magical tequila pool, Tang finds some mushrooms, eats them, and begins to trip out. When Tang enters the Land of the Lost he discovers to be in the lair of a gigantic caterpillar. The magical caterpillar, Poh the Ass Stealer, tells Tang that if he lets loose he’ll steal his ass cheeks; Poh also tells Tang that he sucks at keeping secrets. Poh tells Tang the Earth-Water Alliance wants to kill the Burrito and Enchilada Spirits and that Tang must stop them. Suddenly Tang releases a fart of biblical proportions which causes Poh to pass out. Smokey the Bear appears and drags Poh away and then Tang breaks out of his drug trip. Just as this happened Shinji emerged from the sewer system and Admiral Cow and General Uncle Iroh casually walked in. Tang flips out, beats Shinji over the head with his club and then runs off with Shinji. Tang runs off into the desert but they don’t get very far because Shinji starts whining about how much his father treats him like crap and how much he idolizes his sister. Tang couldn’t take it anymore so he brought Shinji back, but not before clubbing his face in. Admiral Cow walks to the pool of tequila and pulls out a burrito from it. He then declares that because of his hatred of Mexican food he will kill the Burrito and Enchilada Spirits. General Uncle Iroh warns Cow not to kill them because the Earth-Water Alliance needs Mexican food. Cow throws the Burrito Spirit down and smashes it under his feet. Every burrito in the entire world started to suddenly disappear. Tang becomes furious and then by tapping into his Missing-Link powers turns into a giant Chihuahua. He charges out of the cave and starts to rip apart every EVA Navy battleship and every EVA. Cow runs away and because of Shinji is doing nothing but cowering in the corner Iroh decides to put matters into his own hands. Iroh corners Cow on a bridge and they begin to fight. Cow slips on a pool of water and lands into a river of Corona Light. Cow doesn’t know how to swim so he begins to drown. His final words were “It’s ironic that there’s an admiral that can’t swim.” Tang drives back the last of the EVA armada. Meanwhile everyone was mourning the loss of the Burrito Spirit. Princess Margarita said that as a child she took a tiny bite out of the Burrito Spirit. She then gives up her body and becomes the Burrito Spirit. Then everyone had a funeral/fiesta so everyone was both sad and merry. Meanwhile at the Earth-Water Alliance Palace, the Geo-Front, Lord Gendo orders his daughter, Princess Asuka, to hunt down and kill her brother Shinji and General Uncle Iroh. Shinji, because he’s a complete failure and Iroh because he borrowed Gendo’s really cool pen and never gave it back.