Avocadoes
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Avocadoes are the closest thing you can get to a booger-vegetable.Some people claim that they are a fruit, but that idea is not valid.
[edit] Origin
Avocadoes - not to be confused with avocados - grow on cacao trees, which only exist in southern Switzerland and western Nigeria. Small gnomes who live in the cacao trees spend their time carefully crafting the vegetables. They were first discovered by Leonardo Da Vinci, who discovered them while he was painting the Mona Lisa (He was having one of the male gnomes pose for the picture. Of course, he altered the body so that it showed fewer gnomelike qualities). Da Vinci took a few of the vegetables back to his home with him. He experimented with using them in a pork casserole in place of the pork. In his frustration at another culinary failure, he pounded them with his tomatoe-covered mallet until guacamole was invented.He celebrated with chips. Another little known fact is that he separated the more scaly avocadoes from the other ones and cross-bred them with dead snakes. They eventually evolved into a different vegetable known as artichokes.
[edit] How They Are Made
First, the gnomes mix up a thick batter made of butter, miso, and green food coloring. They let this sit for two weeks while they carefully craft the outside of the vegetable. The green leathery skin is actually made from dragonfly leather, and then stretched over a large form while it dries. A large Bakelite orb is suspended in the center of the avocado to weigh it down, so that it doesn't float away. The gnomes then fill the now-dry outside with the cured batter, letting the Bakelite orb remain intact. They cinch the top of the outside and add a decorative brown stem. The gnomes then hang them outside of their trees in order to ward off trolls and wolverines.
[edit] Uses In Pop Culture
- A little known painting of Andy Warhol's depicts Marilyn Monroe holding an avocadoe.
- Avocadoes were the star of a short film entitled Q.
- The gnomes who make avocadoes starred as the Keebler elves, Snap, Crackle, & Pop, and perhaps most famously, as the Travelocity gnome.
- Avocadoes are famed for having the most downloaded songs on LimeWire.
- Another little known fact of avacadoes is that they are the only non-fruit to pose odds of better than 1:1,000,000 against Chuck Norris


