Awesome Words

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[edit] The History of the List

A long, long time ago, on top of a mountain far far away, a scient-alien named Tom Cruise was smoking some opium in the Masterhut. Suddenly he heard the voice of L. Ron Hubbard growling something about Moses, damn him, blah, blah, mountain, list, Tom. Tom saw his opportunity to serve his Lord and jumped at the chance racing out of his house so fast he forgot his underwear. Several years later the league of extraoardinary hermaphrodites stumbled upon the tablet containging the list and reported it to the Queen of England. They were beheaded the next day. The list is now on display in the Museum of Retarded History in Uruguay, right next to Osama Bin Laden's gall bladder.

[edit] Words Of Power

Some of the awesome words are known as "Words of Power", which are used by wizards, ninjae, Bob Dole, The Elders of Zion, and Russian people(they don't actually use a language, they just use "Russian" to cast spells). Some of these secret and mystical words include "Noodle" and "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious".

[edit] How To Use Words of Power

In general, words of power are used against people, places, or objects, and may or may not require the use of a wand or stick-like object(a slim jim or an umbrella is fine though). To start off, face your person/thing/place. From there, start to think of a feeling related to your objective for the person/place/thing (hate, happiness, sadness, etc). Then, point your stick-like object toward the person/place/thing and shout your word or words. Generally, your shout will be followed by an action that will result in jumping for joy or the consumption of liquor.

There is however an exception to these rules. You may not use a word or words of power on JESUS or GOD. If you actually proceed to do this, your anus will explode in flaming fury, and you will die. Ouch...

[edit] Historical Uses of Words of Power

In 1824, Norman rockwell was reported to have enslaved a race of "super-rodents" to pillage and destroy to his every whim. The Aztecs were actually defeated by Norman Rockwell on one of his unholy rampages; contrary to popular belief. Later in 1901, when Elmo was still in control of Soviet Russia, he was asassinated by the Teletubbie mafia, who was led by none other than Mario himself. Of course, this was before Mario had fallen in love with Princess Peach, and had vowed to bust a cap in Bowser's scaly ass.

On another note, Godzilla wasn't always a giant lizard bent on world domination and binge drinking with Mothra. He was born as a gecko, but Voldemort used the word of power "Obesify" to change him into what he is today. This however actually made him not only large, but powerful, because of Lord Voldemort's corrupt, power-hungry mind. It has been reported that Voldemort was later processed into a Big Mac while raiding a medieval McDonalds.

[edit] The Official List of Awesome Words

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