Awesomeness

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FACTS DETECTED

“Who leaked the factual info? To resolve this, I need to call Bob and Dennis and have them fix it.”

~ Shawn Green on facts while with the Los Angeles Dodgers

“Everyone should strive for at least 1 Abramov.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Awesomeness

Wikipedia doesn't have a proper article about Awesomeness. It really wouldn't help those so-called-experts by writing one either.

Awesomeness is a measure of how awesome a person/object is. Astronomers are renowned for their high levels of awesomeness.

The basic SI unit of measurement for Awesomeness is the Abramov. For detailed measurement of low-level Awesomeness, the Gee and the Ho-hum may be used.

• ∞^∞ Abramovs = Bruce Lee
• ∞ Abramovs = Godzilla, User:Kervinle2500, Jesus, God of War, Super Smash Brothers Brawl, The Krampus and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
• 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000x10^20^20 Abramovs = Mr. T
• 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000x10^20 Abramovs = SPARTAAAAAAAAAANs
• 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000^1,000,000,000 Abramovs = Samuel Adams
• 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000^900,000,000 Abramovs = Oscar Wilde
• 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000^800,000 Abramovs = Samuel L. Jackson
• 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 Abramovs = Star Wars
• 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 Abramovs = Bob Ross
• 100,000,000,000,000,000 Abramovs = Head Lephrachaun
• 1,000,000,000,000,000 Abramovs = Batman
• 1,000,000,000,000 Abramovs = Borat
• 1,000,000,000 Abramovs = Sex
• 1,000,000 Abramovs = Back to the Future
• 1,000 Abramovs = Al Gore
• 100 Abramovs = The Dutch
• 10 Abramovs = Pizza
• 1 Abramov = School
• 0 Abramov = You
• -1 Abramovs = Shitx
• -10 Abramovs = a pile of shit
• -100 Abramovs = a bigger pile of shit
• -1,000 Abramovs= Dick Cheney
• -100,000 Abramovs = getting Pwnt
• -100,000,000 Abramovs = Monkeyphiles(Evolutionists)
• -100,000,001 Abramovs = Creationists
• -500,000,000 Abramovs = Your Mom
• -1,000,000,000 Abramovs = Jack Abramoff
• -10,000,000,000 Abramovs = George Dubya Bush
• -100,000,000,000 Abramovs = Barack Hussein Jermain Osama Yo'momma Obama
• -100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Abramovs = Gecka 'WHERE IS SHODAI' Gravitation lover

[edit] Artificial Awesomness

It is possible to raise one's awesomeness by injecting the drug Awesomeosity, which was developed by an unnamed University when funding for a proposed telescope fell through. Although short-lived, the spike of awesomness induced by the taking of Awesomeosity can be extreme. An increase of 1-2 Abramovs is not uncommon; however, the drug does induce excess growth of hair around the anus.

[edit] Astronomers

Astronomers are generally considered the human embodiments of awesomeness. An accepted slang for these people would be "awes-tronomers".

[edit] Medical Problems

While awesomness is generally a really good thing for you, there are medical issues with it, generally on the overdose of awesomeness. Most people's bodies are not strong enough to handle certain levels of Abramovs, or, if they experience a spike in Abramovs, the sudden change can lead to serious complications. Whether these spikes and/or increases are caused by injecting the drug awesomeosity (see above; Artificial Awesomeness), or simply suddenly being too awesome in one moment after a fairly boring life of unawesomeness, it can lead to serious conditions, most commonly head asplosions caused by SBED (Sudden Brain Explosion Disorder).

Often, Awesomeness is confused with another mysterious energy, known as Funk. Funk is however, more common in funk bassists and people who have a lot of sex.