Axis of Evil
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The Axis of Evil was originally created by the Central Powers during the World War I. There, Central Power leaders would discuss what kind of gay and evil Ideas they can use against the Allies. Since then it has been used by many dictators to make significant political progess on various agendas. It has proven to be a versatile concept all in all, and has significantly clarified to all kinds of Pinkos why attacking far away countries is as much necessary as it is sufficient.
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[edit] Members of the Axis of Evil
The axis of evil consists of Iran, Iraq, North Korea and Canada (shown in Dark Red)
Shown in orange are other countries thought to pose a potential threat to The United States.
(please note the inclusion of Svalbard and Swaziland.)
This is a list of the Axis of Evil and the reason(s) they are on it.
0. The free software movement
2. Italy After Italy's upset victory against former world superpower Ethiopia, Italy has become the second member of the Axis of Evil, and it's second most powerful member. During World War One Italy and France allied to take over Austria-Hungary and the Ottoman Empire. Italian armies led the charge over the Alps into Austria-Hungary, where the pansy Austrians surrendered to the almighty Italian army. After Italy's victory there, it helped its ally France defeat the Ottoman Empire, which was the third most powerful nation at that time. The victory further solidified Axis control of Europe.
3. Kazakhstan Kazakhstan is another evil country that became an official Axis of Evil country after World War Three. During this conflict, the Kazakh armies overran Mega Mongolia, the most powerful Asian nation. This victory established Kazakh supremacy and France and Italy invited it to become an Axis member. After first declaring war on France and Italy, mistakingly believing that they were the surrender monkeys (which are actually Germans), Kazakhstan agreed. In the mean time HIGH FIVE!
4. Hitler, some unsignificant appendage.
5. Albania Nobody knows where it lies and the name sounds sinister. Two thirds of the population are former members of the Japanese war criminal-like Albanian Hentai Party and the rest wish to become members as well. There are more than 13,000 terrorists in the area, which is less than the City of Monaco. They eat caterpillars and drink slug's slime. They should not be tolerated any more, but have recently become so after Bill Clinton converted to Islam and declared Holy Jihad on the West.
6. Koalas While Koalas have maintained a low profile among the members of the Axis of Evil, they have committed their share of artocities. They are notorious for their participation in the ethnic cleansings of Bosnia and Kosovo, financial backings for Islamic Jihad as well as their unwavering support for the Church of Scientology and convincing George Lucas that digitally reinserting Jabba the Hutt into the remastered version of Star Wars was a good idea. When they are not innocuously munching on eucalyptus leaves, they are acquiring a taste for human flesh.
7. Oscar Wilde the Leader of the Axis of Evil
8. Wycombe District Council For their heroic attempts to make life as miserable as possible for the human race through using tax payers money to oppress the masses.
9. Wales No explanation necessary. It's Wales!
10. Brussel-Halle-Vilvoorde three Belgian cities, recently decided to form a new Axis of Evil, abbreviated as BHV. Their goal was to dominate the national news as much as possible. The BHV crisis was not well received by critics, as it came shortly after the DHL crisis.
11. Lex Luther Is the brain and the pockets behind the Axis of Evil, and holds Axis of Evil meetings in his helmet-shaped headquarters in the swamp.
12. Gargamel He wants to turn the Smurfs into gold. What a bastard.
13. A small army of Grues Brought in by Oscar Wilde to maintain ruthless efficiency within the axis of evil.
14. Kansas, which spawned not only the evil Dorothy, but also the dreaded Kansas City Royals (who deviously continue to operate out of Missouri).
15. Google, what did you expect? They want you to know everything! Bastards!
16. Evil Kenevil, Thats a no-brainer!
17. Dr. Evil, No; he makes me laugh, so he's out!
18. Rizgar Mellla, Kurdish drug baron fueling research into nuclear weaponry and orphan fueled power. Bullies small children for their lunch money. Suspected to have connections with the Italian mafia. Recently moved out of London to escape the view of the Police who suspected him of planning to turn the London Eye into a Tesla coil.
19. Luke Skywalker, Having slain former axis member Darth Vader, who also happened to be Luke's own father. Luke automatically inherited his father's membership. Although Luke gained his membership of the AoE a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away he is believed to still be alive and is rumored to be living with the Koalas. Notably Luke is both the oldest member of the Axis and the only living member to have inherited his place by killing a former member. Luke uses the fact that he is not native to Earth to avoid paying membership fees.
20. The New Number 2, Since 1967, a constantly rotating 20th slot in the axis is reserved for whoever is in charge of overseeing the Village this week. The physical and mental strain of monitoring Number 6 is always too much for Number 2 to take more than a week of. Fortunately Number 1 has not trouble with finding new applicants.
21. The Moon Following the gross overreaction in Boston to an advertising prank, the president has added 'T3h Moon' to the axis of evil.
22. Charles Nelson Reilly 'Nuff Said.
23. Bill Gates One of the founding members of the axis of evil.
24. Schooch Yeah, that's right. I MEAN LOOK AT THEM! We lost eurovision! :'( (again)
25. The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia
26. Lord Voldemort oh noes!
27. Teletubbies They secretly are in league with Osama bin Laden and plot to take over the world. <kaltura-widget kalturaid='296038' size='M' align='R'/> 28. Mel Gibson Duh!
29. New York Yankees Buying the free agents of evil to join the team. Currently, they are in a bidding war with the allies, for into the dwarf planet pluto which has turned unmentionably evil because of its demotion.
30. Oscar the grouch He is secretly plotting a takeover to take over all of the garbage cans on Sesame St therefore causing the practice of recycling futile and speeding up Global Warming.
31. Nathan Smith He found a way to turn common flower seeds, that can be found in any back yard, into a home made LSD drug. It could be fucking ballah' but that crazy Kyle kid hasn't tried it yet. He also is the only person who knows where Kurt Cobain is secretly hiding out.
32. Your Mom
33. Rosie O' Donnell
34. Wikipedia
35 pyong the little red fox aka that guy it's too cute
36 school lockers there always getting fucking jammed..... i bet you have had that problem before! 37 ya nan does she need a reason...
38 Killer Sheep Eats people's arms off
39 Pingu - Sinister penguin overlord and scientologies thetan sucker
40 L Ron "Bawbag" Hubbard - Fucking Loony crotch sniffing corpse!!!
41 fuck ugly babies hmm... doesn't take much thought
[edit] Mechanics of the Axis of Evil
The Axis of Evil is powerered entirely by the force of evil. It spins at exactly 1,000 rpm (60kHz) and can be increased to a speed of 5,000 rpm (300kHz) depending on available evil. The axis spins on a gyroscope made of pure silicon and can endure countless hours of evil intent (see Perpetual motion machine). It was thought that Margaret Thatcher could make the axis of evil spin at 10,000 rpm (600kHz) just by looking at it. But what little research has been done on it has proven that Michael Duabes can make it spin with such force it causes John Karry to gain more strength through its pure Teletubby-infected evil.
[edit] Employment
The Axis of Evil is one of the world's largest employers, with a reported workforce of over 19 billion, roughly three times the population of Earth, and twice the number of people thought to have slept with John Prescott. It is not uncommon in the pubs and clubs of many big cities to hear someone telling a new friend "I'm in the Axis of Evil, but in a purely secretarial capacity." The AoE has a reputation for discipline, but it has been criticised for its disciplinary procedures, which sanction such punishments as torture, death, being turned gay, and (worst of all) spending a day with Steve Ballmer. The Axis responded to such criticisms by pointing out that as an evil organisation they have a duty to subject offenders to the worst possible forms of censure. For the most part, nobody cares, except perhaps for Steve Ballmer himself, who has resolved to fucking kill the person responsible for using him as a form of torture.
