BASEketball

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The actual title of this page is "Mordechai Richler's Awesome World of Sports", but due to technical limitations it shall be named BASEketball.

“OMG!!!!! YOU GUYZ WERE IN BASEKETBALL!!!!!!!”

~ Some guy on Trey Parker and Matt Stone

BASEketball is a sport based on the movie of the same name. It involves throwing a DVD player to a person with a bat, the animal mind you, and hitting to the other side of the field. This animal and machine cruelty has garnered the hatred of such organization such as PETA and PETM, but after playing this game, you'll soon agree that this is one of the most awesome sports ever made.

[edit] Early History

Mordechai Richler was sitting at home thinking of a way to defeat Oscar Wilde when inspiration struck him in the form of a DVD player. First of all, DVD players back then were known as "German Shepards" and were very ravenous. Second of all, DVD players were quite dangerous back then and touching them will leave you a souless husk of a person.

When a DVD player attacked Richler, the only weapon he could find was a bat, the animal, and back then bats were gigantic and had Japanese people attached to them, and then the action of hitting a DVD player was truly awesome and BASEketball was born.

When Richler challenged Wilde to a game of BASEketball, Wilde was beaten nearly to death, literally. But in a twist of fate, Wilde pulled out his trump card, his bitch Mary. When Mary started to play for Wilde, the game was over as Wilde surrounded to that crazy bitch in an instant, as each DVD Player she hit went right toward Richler himself.

As Wilde died from his wounds from the game, Mary promised him that BASEketball would cease to exist forever. And so it did.

[edit] Modern Day Development

|AWESOM-O Movie Idea #295: Adam Sandler stars in a movie about a boy who wishes to be the master of the most dangerous sport, BASEketball, a sport that involves throwing waffle irons at people. Mordechai Richler plays a handsome, or something...|

In the spring of 1997, movie executives were in need of an awesome sports movie idea, then came AWESOM-O's idea. Several liberties were made, including an exec possessed by Richler who recommended that the waffle irons be changed to DVD Players and that the people respond to the act by using real fruit bats.

The movie was a smash hit generating 3 gazillion box office in less then 4 human days.

The sport was soon created once again, and the LB, the League of BASEketball, was established in 200034. Rules to follow:

[edit] The Rules of the Sport

Rule 1: DVD Players and Bats are required for this game. All players are to be equipped with bats.

Rule 2: Any playing field will suffice.

Rule 3: The pitcher will throw the DVD Player at the Shortstop, who will hit it with the Bat. If the DVD player is returned to the pitcher and it hits him/her, 10 points are rewarded. If it hits another player of another team, 5 points are rewarded. If you hit your own teammate, you lose 20 points. If and when the pitcher hits the DVD player back with his/her bat, and misses you, your team is rewarded with 50 points.

Rule 4: The game is over when 100 points are achieved, if the game ends in a tie, an all out brawl will occur.

Rule 5: If PETA or PETM, appears, run like hell!

[edit] The "Psyche-Out"

At any time a player may attempt to distract their opponent by whatever means they decide. This can include verbal, physical and mental/psychological abuse. There are no limitations on performing a Psyche-Out.

“Yeah, ya gotta say totally fucked up shit to psych them out.”

~ Douglas "Swish" Reemer on Psyche-Outs

[edit] Famous BASEketball Teams

Los Angeles Taquitos
Heaven's Saint Crossmen
The Richler Squad- Headed by Mordechai Richler, composed of the Richler Quintuplets.
The Deimon Devil Bats
The New York Metropolitian Museum of Art Connoissuers
North Star Linemen
Derka Derka Derk
The Bada Ba Ba Bas
The Spoiled Oranges
The Greek Nerftards
The Anti-Richler Squad
The Anti-Anti Richler Squad
The Kitten Huffers
The 1337 LEETS
The Loserville Winners
The Winnersburg Losers
The Toilet Town Pooper Scoopers
The OMG ROFLOLZ i pwNd j00 n00bs l0l 1337 4eva!1!!!1!1LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL...OK i'm dun!1!
The Great Balls of Fire
The White Smacktalkers
The Blue Man Group
The Miluwakee Beers