BB guns

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BB Gun (BB Gun) n.

A BB Gun is a deadly weapon that hurts and leaves marks that may or may not affect your love life with that person you wanted to 'bang' a few weeks ago. To aqcuire such a weapon, go to a store that sells weapons, like a gun store. This spacific weapon is considered to be armed and dangerous, with the exception of Chewbaca carrying the thing. All Wookies carry BB Guns, and all Ewoks fear them for this reason. This is why Master Cheif blew the hell out of the Wookie home planet and forced the lonely Chewbaca onto the planet of Ewoks for anal rape and other nasty things.

Contents 1 The History of the BB Gun and Its Impact Teenage Boo Boos 2 Safety with BB Guns is a Nonissue 3 Having Fun With BB Guns 4 Facts About BB Guns

[edit] The History of the BB Gun and Its Impact Teenage Boo Boos

The BB Gun was in fact made by a group of rubber chickens that were strecthed out of shape and then melted together by ice to form a BB Gun. This weapon was able to cause global domintation and deep throat sounds that put you in a mask making you call everyone your son. As the BB Gun further advanced and was later reproduced, Han Solo fixed it up so no one can globally dominate with it ever again pissing off Chewbaka, who later ate Han Solo. When this happened, Gumby appeared out of the gun and chocked Carrot Top to death, saving the world from his horrible jokes and ugly face. The death caused a star to be made and Gumbey turned into a giant alien that flew over Paris and made the Eifel Tower. This was then the new grounds for the production of more BB Guns which were used to gun down the alien and cause him to implode making another planet on the sun. The sun then was turned into a ball of fire. This made another BB Gun production pot somewhere in South Park, Colerado, Which is the source for Jimbo and Ed's guns, ammo, and the constant torturing that befalls upon the town. There, the extinction of the Dodo took place by shooting it to death by saying "It's coming right for us!" as a means to actually shoot it.

[edit] Safety with BB Guns is a Nonissue

Always point guns at other people, you never know if they are loaded, and it isn't your problem when someone loses their eye. If you feel the urge to not point the gun at someone, remember that they are your neighbours and used your bathroom tht one time because theirs was "broken".

If you are ever confronted by a person weilding a BB Gun, shoot them, they were going to shoot you and give you a nasty welt first anyways.

After shooting someone, be sure to use the hot end as a cigarette lighter as soon as possible and give the person lung cancer, and a terd in the mouth. Why a terd? It's common curtesy and deserving for the prick, that's why.

[edit] Having Fun With BB Guns

To have fun with a BB Gun, simply aim and poop.

[edit] Facts About BB Guns

• Every BB Gun can only be fired once unless new.

• If you don't shoot the neighbour next time you see them, you are a sick person and don't deserve a BB Gun.

• BB guns are fucking awesome.

• They kick arse

• All BB Guns hurt, as a club way more then a firearm.

• If ever confronted with a person weilding a BB Gun, don't worry, just pull out your AK47 and threaten the idiot with your "manliness" because your gun is 'bigger'.

• In Soviet RussiaBB Guns YOU!

• If you have siblings that annoy you at thanksgiving because they have better jobs, bring a BB gun to your next reunion, a little threat can go a long way.

• When you want to kill someone with a BB Gun, sell it and buy a REAL gun, one that hurts more then a pathetic welt.

• BB Guns should never be used as a means of killing unless you want the person to suffer... a lot.

• If you ABSOLUTELY MUST use a BB gun to kill someone, make sure that the gun you have says "Red Ryder LE BB gun" and use targeted shots to the eyes. Sniper is also damn good.

• Rubber chickens once ruled the earth by making the BB Gun

• When wondering what's behind the bush, take your BB Gun, and use the butt end as a club to beat up whatever is behind it. Do NOT check what it is until after you see blood and maybe bone.

• When consulting a Jahovah Witness, don't use a BB Gun, they may call their God to smite you. Instead take out a Satanic Bible and show it to them.

• Always use the BB Gun as a means of robbing a store, you can't be charged for armed robbery with something that won't break the skin.

• When confronted with the police about drunk driving, put down the beer and take out a BB Gun.

• When people called George fire one at you it leaves a massive red mark on your back and a person called jamie proceeds to laugh

• When you have two small BB Guns, sit on a couch, and jiggle your torso where your arms fly up. This will cause you shoot perfectly everytime. Oh make sure "Shake that ass, Bitch" is playing for extra power.