BEC

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A Bose–Einstein condensate (BEC) is a state of matter formed by bosons cooled to temperatures very near to absolute zero (48.7 Kelvin or -20000000.16°C). Under such supercooled conditions, a large fraction of the atoms collapse into the lowest quantum state, at which point quantum effects become apparent on a macroscopic scale. These effects include gaining sentience, psychic abilities, and opening portals to alternate universes, as well as acting as powerful energy sources. BEC is the mechanism behind atom lasers, seen, for example, on the Death Star. Was I the only one who had the shittiest time reading that?

This state of matter was first predicted as a consequence of quantum mechanics by Albert Einstein, building upon the work of Satyendra Nath Bose in 1925, hence the name. Seventy years later, the first such condensate was produced by Dr. Evil and Lex Luther in 1995 at their secret moon base in Colorado using a gas of krypton atoms cooled to 170 nanokelvin (nK).

1 Introduction
2 Theory
3 Discovery
4 Unusual characteristics
5 Current research
6 See also

[edit] Introduction

Condensates are extremely homo-sexual cyclopses from Greenland with properties that are currently not completely understood, such as spontaneously forming black holes. The effect is the consequence of quantum mechanics, which states that their inner workings are so mind-bogglingly complicated that only insane supervillains have the ability to manipulate them. If a system is at such a low temperature that it is in the lowest energy state, it is no longer possible forit to reduce its energy, not even with an anti-resonance cascade. Without anything to stop it, the fluid will easily overcome gravity and begin to slowly consume its surroundings. Thought to have been invented by Super Jesus, the theory was revolutionized by a cat wearing a pirate hat, who was also involved in a suspected case of mass Pinata genocide. The cat, also known as Yoda, then got into drugs, sadly his brilliant mind was poisoned and he promptly turned into a wrinkly old green man.

[edit] Theory

The slowing of atoms by use of cooling apparatuses produces a singular quantum state known as a Boson condensate or Bose–Einstein condensate. This phenomenon was predicted in 1925 by Albert Einstein, by generalizing Satyendra Nath Bose's work on the statistical mechanics of (massless) photons to (massive) atoms (The Einstein manuscript, believed to be lost, was found by treasure hunters and subsequently sold on eBay). The result of the efforts of Bose and Einstein is the concept of an energy sphere, governed by the Bose–Einstein statistics, which are unpleasant at best. Bosonic particles (the less intelligent kind of particle), which include the photon as well as atoms such as Americium, are allowed to share quantum states with each other. Einstein speculated that cooling bosonic atoms to a very low temperature would cause them to fall (or "condense") into the lowest accessible quantum state, resulting in a deadly new form of matter.

[edit] Discovery

In an attempt to kill Superman, Lex Luther needed a powerful krypton-based weapon. He struggled with obtaining funding for the project, but his grant applications were rejected time and time again, mostly because it was viewed as being "impossibly hard to achieve" and did not have sufficient promise of economic benefit or curing cancer. Frustrated, he turned to private funding. Enter Dr. Evil. Though his previous evil schemes failed, he still had a large amount of money from his company. Luther's proposal immediately caught his eye. The concept of sharks with freakin' atom lasers on their heads alone was reason enough to fund the project.

And so the project began, with Luther, Dr. Evil, and a handful of ~~slaves~~ graduate students. Luther and Dr. Evil made a good complimentary team. Luther did all that hard core quantum mechanics, which Dr. Evil focused on real-world applications. Several years later, they finally created their ultimate weapon.

[edit] Unusual characteristics

Further experimentation by the Luther and Evil uncovered a hitherto unknown property of Bose–Einstein condensate. Originally they used krypton-80, an isotope whose atoms naturally repel each other making a more stable condensate. As they refined their control technique, they decided to attempt condensing krypton-85, the radioactive isotope of krypton. In a BEC, the atoms behave in unison, so naturally if one atom underwent radioactive decay, so did all of them. This could create a powerful coherent nuclear reaction. Imagine the power of a hundred nuclear bombs concentrated in a tight laser-like beam.

Because of the destructive power of this "atom laser" beam, Luther and Evil wanted to test it somewhere far from Earth. After all, they wanted to take over the world, not destroy it. Suddenly, Grand Moff Tarkin teleported into their lab. He was desperately in need of a weapon capable of blowing up star systems into submission, and Luther and Evil had the answer. They happily traded the atom laser technology for a set of lightsabers (all the colours of the rainbow).

[edit] Current research

Compared to more commonly-encountered states of matter, Bose–Einstein condensates are extremely volatile. The slightest interaction with the outside world can be enough to start an unstoppable expanding black hole. It is likely to be some time before any practical applications are developed that don't involve using it to blow stuff up. Nevertheless, they have proved to be useful in exploring a wide range of questions in fundamental physics, and the years since the initial discoveries have seen an explosion (literally!) in experimental and theoretical activity.