BTEC

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Looking for a career in computers? Anyone can take advantage of BTEC extensive range of courses.

WHY DID I NOT TAKE HAIRDRESSING

I have never been so angry in my life.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about BTEC.

My BTEC in Advanced Bread Making Techniques has enabled me to pursue my lifelong career goal, working the nightshift in a morgue. I can't thank you enough BTEC!

A BTEC is an acronym, meaning "Basic Time Elimination Course" and is generally viewed as an ideal course for someone looking to waste time. This course almost always results in getting nothing done. Lecturers are chosen at random, mostly for their skills in wardrobe malfunction, unique perspectives on personal hygiene, STEALING YOUR MONEY and skillsets with no link to the course curriculum.

The BTEC is aimed primarily at single males in their early 30s who are trapped in jobs within higher education or the IT industry.

[edit] Example : BTEC National Diploma in Applied Science (Laboratory and Industrial Science)

This course, for example, is the foundation course for wasting time under the precept of learning science. It mostly involves people with mental problems/insanity, EMA farmers with mental problems, Uncyclopedia addicts and people with a power complex in the physics area.

General studies include:

Unit 1 : Necrophilia
Unit 2 : Lecturing to death
Unit 4 : Deal Or No Deal but with empty boxes
Unit 90 : Waiting for the break
Unit 77 : Touching Jabba the hutt in his naughty places.
Unit 6 : Industrial applications of badger remains
Unit 893 : Soul crushing monotony
Unit 25 : Time dilation and its effects on deadlines
Unit 657 : Loss of important data sheets and their effects on the rest of humanity
Unit 52 : How to : Kill a bear and simultaneously defeat communism using only a button, a brown lemon, a toothpick and an Ethernet LAN cable
Unit 734 : Shameless plagiarism of wikipedia articles
Unit 21 : Evolution of Tribbles
Unit 45 : jugganought quotes
Unit 007 : Applications of groin-aimed laser beams
Unit 51 : Applications of completing san andreas, fo sho'.

[edit] Further Examples of BTEC's

BTEC continue to be trailblazers in the field of specialist advanced learning qualifications, including the following:

BTEC Diploma in going to Greggs
BTEC Diploma in applied cheese
BTEC Diploma in applied physics in the world of dead or alive
BTEC Diploma in science in the world of dead or alive
BTEC Advanced certificate in umpiring cricket matches
BTEC Super hyper mega advanced degree in speaking 'straylian.
BTEC Dipoma in solving Wikistress
BTEC Diploma in finding new ways to vandalise Wikipedia
BTEC Advanced degree in drawing with crayons.
BTEC Basic Diploma in Taking sweeties from strangers
BCTE avnced dilopma ni dylseixa
BTEC so-so diploma in EMA farming
BTEC Underwater Diploma in annoying Cthulhu
BTEC Demonic diploma in avoiding graham
BTEC diploma in watching hunterxhunter
BTEC How not to keep track of important government discs containing lots of benifiting public documents
BTEC Diploma in wanting to die when ian talks about wires for like two hours TWO FUCKING HOURS