BUHHDA
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“BUHHDA is the only guy I know vain enough to spell his name in all caps. Down with Allah!”
~ Oscar Wilde on BUHHDA
“I pity the BU. HHDA.”
~ Allah
“If you guys want to fight, fight in China. They got a little bit of both you fools there. And a couple isolationists. But really, where the hell's the Dolly Llama?”
~ Etc on Allah, Buddha, and the Dolly Llama
BUHHDA, not to be confused with Buddha the founder of Buddism who was the first coming of BUHHDA.
BUHHDA ate Buddha whole as he saw him to be "A load of fat instead of that chewy crap." this allowed him to found his own Religion, the Religion of BUHHDAISM (BUHHDA Uber Hell, Heaven ,Dice, Almonds, Isms, Superman and Marijuanna.).
BUHHDA is a God under section 48 of the code of the gods which was revised after his rising to ensure that no-one like him arose ever again. BUHHDA is the only god who is known to be hated by all the jesuii, including jebus.
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[edit] The BUHHDA when he was not a God (B.B)
According to the book of BUHHDA before BUHHDA the world was devoid of BUHHDA, (although this is a subject of great debate).
Then his father did say to his mother
"Will thou doeth me for thrice twenty five lotus coins?"
And she did reply
"Mine cavern is all yours brother"
And there was a big bang, nine months later BUHHDA was born and three stars did light up the sky, three sheepherders who saw these stars did follow them...and found his mother shooting herself up.
Then they did askth of her
"Where is the child, for he must die!"
And his mother did reply
"BUHHDA must die"
Before being Pimp-Slapped into Oblivion.
And they did approacth his cot but, he foresaw this and became a tree to protect himself from the three Sheepherds:
Michael Jackson, Pedo Bear and Gary Glitter
And thus they could not molest him but he absorbed part of the treenesss for ever and thus became a Human/Tree who defys biology.
buddha is aiayt
[edit] The ingestion of the first coming of BUHHDA
the first coming of BUHHDA (not to be confused with the first cuming of BUHHDA which was when he was 18 and got lucky) was Buddha.
Buddha was exhausted after a fight with his Rival and Mentor edmond hondaand he did leanth against a tree for rest and meditation. BUHHDA was displeased with his first coming , for he did owe him a fiver and did look damn delightfully delicious. BUHHDA was in an altered state or mind, for he had been huffing many a kitten, and our lord BUHHDA did mistake Buddha for a tantalisingly tasty tiger tesicle, and he did swallow him whole and absorb his God powers, and becameth Our Lord.
And the morning after the night before Our Lord did wake up and in his infinate wisdom proclaim the words
"ohh...my ****ing head!"
For he was hungover. As his all seeing third eye did spew forth the seas of yellow, he did regain his memory and realised the thing he had done...then he did test out his godly powers. First he climbeth upon a wall, then he parteth the reed sea, followed by beateth uping chuck norris, before summoning a dancing naked milky way, and it was called BUHHDA's pad and an orgy there was and many mind-altering illegal substances.
[edit] The founding of BUHHDAISM
BUHHDA was happy for he was in a perpetual state of of orgasm,due to his dancing naked milky way, but then the other gods picked on him, and he was pissed, so he wedgied God and he was also pissed and he asketh of Our Lord
"Why doth thou wedgie me so?"
And our lord replieth in his infinite wisdom
"Thou starth it, Crybaby"
And then BUHHDA did pick on Gods little brother, The Pope and he did smashth up The Vatican, stealeth all the porn from their library and the pope's hat and calleth him a "Sisseth Pants!"
And God did do all BUHHDA's pad and purify the seas of yellow and BUHHDA and God were even but BUHHDA's actions caused people to to worship him and engage in sodomy with each other in his name
and it was ****ing good
[edit] Prophet of BUHHDA
There is but one prophet of BUHHDA, he is easily distinguished by the way he talks in Caps "LIKE THIS"
He can often be found raving about how
"MY GOD HAS A BIGGER PHALLIC OBJECT THAN YOUR GOD!"
and telling Buddhists that they
"TAKE TOO LONG TO CUM/COME"
This has led to many a misunderstanding before, and he can often be seen being arrested for Indecency as he believes that clothes are for Non-Believers. He is traditionly greeted by believers via oral sex as it says in the book of BUHHDA. He is the source of the famous quote
[edit] How to spot a BUHHDIST
BUHHDISTS are easily recognised by the fact that they're almost always having sex, as you probably know although not all womanizers are BUHHDISTS all BUHHDISTS are womanizers (or maneaters)
- All Milkmen, everyone knows that milkmen are no.1 for having affairs with.
- Bill Clinton, are you suprised?
- Paris Hilton, she's a real slut that one.
- Jim from down the road, yeah him to.
- Oscar Wilde, BUHHDA gave him his pimp cane last christmas.
- Winston Churchill, BUHHDA organized his speeches.
- Einstein, BUHHDA supplied him with chalkboards for theorising with.
- Dalai Lama, he's a bit confused, BUHHDA supplies him with incense.
- Jack Dee, BUHHDA changed his name from twidle to jack.
- Ron L. Hubbard, You didn't think he really believed all that crap did you?
- Steven Hawkings, BUHHDA stole his legs, so he would.
- The Governater, BUHHDA taught him to say "I'll be back".
- Steven Segal, BUHHDA taught him Dimmac.
[edit] The laws of BUHHDA
“Do this excretion*.”
~ Book of BUHHDA
BUHHDA's third eye did see the best laws ever and he did tell us to do "This excretion*"
1. **** all and every statue of BUHHDA.
2. Priests of BUHHDA must tattoo "mum" on their right arm; like BUHHDA.
3. Woodpeckers must be killed, and necrophilia practised upon their corpses.
4. Statues of BUHHDA must have the biggest possible phallic object.
5. BUHHDA must be given kittens to huff every thursday.
6. Buddha cakes must be eaten every tuesday.
7. Edmond Honda must not be played as in street fighter for is a fat ******.
8. Sodomy must be practised.
9. Fap everyday, without fail.
10. A scheduled orgy must be arranged AT LEAST one a week, at the BUHHDAIST temple.
11. Accept that BUHHDA has the biggest phallic object of all.
12. Go on a pilgrage to the seas of yellow at least once in your life.
13. Get laid.
14. BUHHDA is, therefore you are.
15. Eat oranges regularly.
16. Pick sexual fetish and stick with it.
17. Fornicate with mummies.
