Babar
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“Whenever Babar does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives. It's just a pity about that trunk. ”
~ Oscar Wilde on Babar
Babar is king of the elephants, and was the 2008 Libertarian Party candidate for President of the United States. He won his crown in a game of poker against Rolf Harris, Bear Grills, Chesney Hawkes and China. His face is a facade, as he had to barter it for jew gold when he was a young elephant pup. He now wears a mantle of iron and swears revenge against Reed Richards.
[edit] Babar a Summary of his life
At the tender age of five, Babar was involved in a terrible accident whilst Kitten Huffing with his then best friend Lord Rat Axes, who had introduced him to the sport. A small tabby had been lined up for consumption of young Babar, but soon found itself stuck halfway inside and halfway outside the young Elephant's trunk. As a result, for a short time the kitten became Schrödinger's cat, although what Schrödinger himself thought of this has long been debated.
Whilst in his late teens, he stayed at the world renowned Ritz hotel (know then as the "titz") tho due to an unfortunate mix up, he was given the same room key as Gary Coleman, this lead to hilarious hotel room mix-up which ended up with Babar sharing a room with Mr Coleman's then wife. However, that night of hot iron-faced elephant passion lead to her divorcing Gary and shacking up with Babar. They had 12 children together over their 4 years of marrige, 3 survived.
After a while, stuff happened.
Once that stuff was suitably cleaned up, and the dead child and small Cane Toad removed from the living room floor, Babar was finally able to marry his cousin Celeste. Contrary to popular belief, Celeste was not an elephant but in fact a cleverly disguised Prussian spy. The Prussians had long sought to know why an obese, imperialistic French elephant had suddenly come to power to be the king of much of the civilised world. The reason for this of course was simple; Elephants controlled half the world, Rhinos the other half, and Prussia controlled 100% of the world of their own making.
