Today's featured satanist
|
|
n the beginning there was nothing, and from that nothing arose Uncyclopedia, a great and magnificent tome containing all that was good. And once opened, Uncyclopedia spawned all that was funny and great. From the pages of Uncyclopedia sprang forth the knowledge of how to huff a cat, the knowledge of the meaning of the acronym "NRA", and the knowledge of how to beat a joke to death. From Uncyclopedia sprung Oscar Wilde quotes, beautiful pictures, and an annoying copycat named Wikipedia. However, right from the beginning, there was foretold an end. On the last page of Uncyclopedia, there is a small note. The note reads as follows:
Dear Reader,
Uncyclopedia will not last forever. Eventually there will come the Unpocalypse: A fiery rain of Hebrews will fall
from the sky, followed by forty days and nights of fog. Once the fog is lifted, Uncyclopedia will be no more.
However, dearest Reader, take solace in the fact that you will have due warning. There will be 5 signs that the
Unpocalypse is coming. The signs are as follows: (continued...)
Recently buried: Todd Lyons - Hindleyite - Suresh - Mhaille - DeathByPie - Hardwick Fundlebuggy
|
Did you kill...
|
- ...Elvis?
- ...JFK?
- ...Jesus?
- ...some Zombies?
- ...Oscar Wilde?
- ...Chuck Norris?
|
|
In the pit
|
|
|
On this day...
|
 I'm gonna' hit that shit all day long, son! September 7: Electric Bong Day (Poland), Invade Stuff Just for the Hell of It Day (Germany)
- 10,000 B.C. - Armed with sticks, rocks, and clods of dirt, first primitive Germanic people invade France. 15 minutes later, the white flag is invented.
- 355 - Claudius Silvanus, Roman usurper died. No more usurping from that guy.
- 1911 - The first bean bag chair goes on display in Paris. Rioting ensues.
- 1914 - Germany invades Austria, Belgium, France, Serbia, Armenia, Norway, Zaire, South Dakota.
- 1940 - The Blitz: the German Luftwaffe begins to rain bombs down on London. The Blitz is followed by the Blintz, in which the Luftwaffe rains pastries down on London, including the deadly Luftwaffle.
- 1945 - Winston Churchill takes his first holiday after victory in Europe, Snow boarding in Palestine.
- 1960 - Strange spikes in household electricity use are observed throughout California.
- 1980 - Mr. Spears invades Mrs. Spears' pants, finds more than he expected.
- 1988 - Clayton Allen born. International successs story.
- 1992 - Princess Anne was released back into the wild in Africa from captivity.
- 2001 - Luxembourg floated on the New York Stock Exchange. Germany attempts a hostile takeover.
- 2003 - Parents send their children to invade Micheal Jacksons bed, later Sue. And Jane also.
- 2005 - First documented usage of the term kvlt as fvck. Norway rejøices
|
|
Satanist and Imp of the Month
|
|
Once again, dear chaps, the Devil wins this award. 13th month in a row. He's that good, you say. Well I say, chaps, that just because he runs this website doesn't mean you blokes have to keep voting for him! He's already got 13 bloody GUNs! Stop voting for ------------ *scream from off stage*.
Announcers body is seen hanged from a tree
|
|
The Devil, it seems, has done it again. Yet anouther award for him to hang above his desk, eh? I think he'll soon run out of space if he keeps up like this! He's already got 12 of these. Not that he doesn't deserve them and all. No no no deary, after seeing what happened to the last guy, I'd never say something like that. But really folks, have any of you even read the rules? He can only win once. It says it plane and clear. Well I say we fight it brothers! I say we kill The Beast! I say we
Announcer slumps forward in his chair. He has a large sword stuck in his back.
|
Vote for Satanist of the Month | Vote for Imp of the Month | Vote for Occultist of the Month | Past Winners: 0/1
Template:Vote Reminder/code
|
|
