Babel:Communpedia

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search

Stone the Vote!
After I blow this whistle, cast them at VFP, VFH, and VFD.

Welcome To Communpedia,

THE capitalist-free encyclopedia that you can edit.

23,242 Capitalists Exterminated

Worker's Guide · The Four Fathers & Mao · Style · Questions · Help · Donations

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Communist Literature

Today's featured article

Hey, Hey! Haven't seen you in a while. What? Yes, its Jim! Jim Schuman! I was two rooms down from you at Alpocorp three years ago. Yeah, we talked that one time during the fire drill. You were going through that divorce at the time. You remember don't you? Your wife had just cheated on you with one of her fellow dolphin trainers at SeaWorld. Yeah! How did that turn out for you? ....Oh.....Really? Left you with nothing but your old '91 Civic....Right... Well, umm... Sorry about that man.....Uhh... But, hey! You're better off without her, right?.... Really? She's modeling now?.... That...sure is...uhhh....something, isn't it... (more...)

Recently featured: Awkward Conversation - HowTo:Learn Guitar - Spontaneous Combustion - UnBooks:Backstreet Abortionist's Handbook - HowTo:Write the Great American Novel - Hot indiscriminate sex

Archive – Vote for featured articles

Yesterday's featured article

Many guides claim to teach beginners how to play guitar. They don't work, because they assume that people are stupid enough to read through endless pages of scales, time signatures, clefs, fingering charts, music theory and other useless rubbish. Professional teaching is also expensive, costing up to £40 a lesson ($350). These are also largely ineffective as they place undue pressure on the learner and excessive emphasis on technique and theory.

For the benefit of this guide (and some guy called Mr Kite), it is assumed that the reader does not yet know the first thing about the instrument. It is also free while stocks last, so get it while it's hot.

That said, why are you even bothering with this article? Why don't you just pick up a guitar and learn a couple of songs (badly), attempt a couple of chords (even more badly), walk around telling everyone that you can play the guitar, and quit after a month?

It's what everyone else does. (more...)

Featured one year ago today
	The Diary of Anne Frank, featured on 23 July 2007. See the featured version.

All You Need To Know Is...

...that when the first explorers came upon the platypus, all but one of then converted to atheism (and not the peaceful kind either)?

...that Jesus liked to swear?

...that people in New York change careers as often as their underwear?
...that Google Middle Earth is a palantir-driven geographical simulation program created by webmaster/ringlord Sauron and software giant Google?

...that when you play the album 'The Last Tour on Earth' by Marilyn Manson backwards you can actually hear the voice of Jesus spreading the gospel?

Archive – Suggest An Idea & Win A Free Trip To The Siberian Prison Camps

The People's Controlled Media

Fresh air hits Beijing - thousands collapse (pictured)

In a shocking development, you're currently on fire.

An ugly child is abducted and promptly returned.

After seven years of war on terror, America kills a terrorist

Man, I wanted sex ed when I was in Kindergarden!

UnNews exclusive -- Is the movie Space Chimps too dark for kids?

Chuck Norris signs deal with AT&T to destroy other phone companies.

Pope concerned about spherical earth.

The Dow Jones Industrial plummets on gloomy forecasts from drug dealers.

Pope hits out at consumer culture, prefers time when Church owned everything.

Local band writes song critical of President Bush.

Attractive American women are genetically proven to be clumsy and retarded.

You Gotta be Shitting me! He fucking Lost!.

Governments of the world declare "All You Need Is Love"; Global chaos imminent.

Jesse Jackson endorses McCain; Obama's lead skyrockets.

CommUnNews – Radio Free Vodka

On This Day...

The infamous mug shot of the Kool-Aid Man. Heh-heh, "mug" shot.

July 24: Murderous Rampage Day

3,000,000,000 B.C. Oxygen invented by plants. Generally seen to be a bad idea.
6th day: God creates man. Appalled by man’s incompetence, God begins his murderous rampage
30,000 BC: The first homo sapien to discover fire burns to death after stepping in his own campfire. His friends begin their murderous rampage.
XXX: Porn stars get angry at being "used" and begin their murderous rampage.
1487: Citizens of Leeuwarden, Netherlands begin a murderous rampage against ban on foreign beer.
1847: The Mormons found Salt Lake City, Utah. They waste all their salt after five hours and begin their murderous rampage.
1966: The Kool-Aid Man begins his murderous rampage.
1970: Howard Dean screams, and begins his murderous rampage.
1972: Kurt Cobain screams, and begins his murderous rampage —— on himself.
1974: The United States Congress asks Richard Nixon to surrender White House tapes. His response? He screams and begins his murderous rampage.
1987: Oscar Wilde is misquoted for the first time. The world's historians scream and begin their murderous rampage.
1990: Benjamin Franklin is also misquoted, but nobody cares about him. His spirit screams and begins his murderous rampage.
1992: A dislexic man is fed up about his condition, so he tries to write a note to his psychiatrist about beginning a "merderis rahmpag".
1995: Howard Dean's trial stops after it is found that his "murderous rampage" was directed not at human beings, but at pillows. The jury screams and begins their murderous rampage.
2005: Responsible Citizen mini-game is discovered in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Hillary Clinton screams and begins her murderous rampage.
2006: Y'all better watch out. My day is getting pretty fucked up as it is.
July 24, 2006: The word murderous rampage discovers how badly it has been overused, screams, and goes on itself.
2020: 20/20 sues God for copyright infringement. They don't scream, but they do begin their murderous rampage.
21XX: The Reploid is introduced. They soon turn Maverick and begin their murderous rampage.
2200: The Japanese build the first giant Hello Kitty mech. It soon turns Maverick and begins its murderous rampage.
500,000,000,000: The sun gets angry and begins its murderous rampage, destroying the solar system.

View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

Featured picture

This picture was painted at the scene of George Bush's recent visit to Iraq. Locals rushed out to greet him, as he went about his official business: visiting the sick and needy, dispensing worldly and timeless wisdom, even finding time to heal a few lepers.

Image Credit: Spang
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

edit
Recent Propaganda

Monkey Chained To A Typewriter & Communist Youth of the Month

Writer Here

NooB Here

Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Monkey Chained To A Typewriter of the Year, and Mhaille, our Communpedian of the Year!

Communpedia's sista projects

Communpedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.

CommUnNews
The news source on crack

CommUncyclopedia
The capitalist-free encyclopedia

CommUndictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid

CommUnTunes
Music to piss off the savage beast

Communist Women Go Wilde Project
Communpedia's founder tells all

CommUnMeta
How Communpedia doesn't work

CommUnBooks
Capitalist-free books

CommUnquotable
Useless misquotes galore

CommUncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it

Communpedia languages

Communpedia English		Inciclopedia Español	Désencyclopédie Français		Nonsensopedia Polski
Ikkepedia Norsk		Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά	Nonciclopedia Italiano		伪基百科简化字
Desciclopédia Português		Eincyclopedia עברית	Spademanns Leksikon Dansk		アンサイクロペディア日本語
Psyklopedin Svenska		Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch	Hikipedia Suomi		Unciklopédia Magyar
Абсурдопедия Русский		Keinziklopedie יידיש	Valenciclopèdia Valencian		偽基百科正體中文
اونسایکلوپدیا فارسی (Persian·Farsi)	Onziclopedie Nederlands	لاويكيبيديا العربية	Necyclopædia Latina	Necyklopedie A CzechBook	Neciklopedija Српски
언사이클로피디어 한국어	ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย	Hatsiklopedia Malagasy	Absurdipēdijā Latviešu	Nunyepedia Asturianu	Butalopedija Slovenščina
	Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia