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[edit] Today's featured article

Virginia Tech Massacre was a macabre-themed semi-musical play written by Virginia Tech student and intellectual Cho Seung Hui, exclusively performed for the first and only time at the Virginia Tech Theatre on April 16, 2007, for which it received rave reviews and heavy media coverage. It was lauded as the "greatest play of the century" by many critics, and Cho was posthumously praised as a theatrical genius. He would've won many awards for his writing and starring of the play, had he not killed himself. In it were themes of romance, conflict, and humor. But mostly conflict. (more...)

[edit] Yesterday's featured article

The Rule of Three is a principle in English writing that suggests a list of three things is inherently funnier, more effective or more sexually satisfying than a list of any other number of things. Often to obtain maximum humour, the third thing in the list breaks the pattern set up by the other two. It is an important comedy writing technique often used in television shows, stand-up comedy routines and erotic novels. The technique can be combined with any other comedy technique including redundancy, random humour and redundancy. It should not be overused, however, as the joke will fast become stale, stagnant and hilarious. (more...)

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[edit] Our glorious history

October 10: Not-for-turning Day, Woodmas in the Woodian faith, International Day of No Underwear

• 19 - Stephen King is given the powers to create the world in his image. He refuses to change this world but writes a book that turned into the first bar of soap. There was much rejoicing. King then announced he was against turning.
• 1582 - Pope Gregory XIII implements the Gregorian calendar. While not wearing any underwear. Pop Gregroy announced that turning is immoral.
• 1807 - Canada defeats The Pirate Nation in the Canadian-Pirate War. Canada turns a new leaf even though they're not supposed to turn...
• 1815 - Napoleon I of France begins his exile on St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean. He forgets to pack any underwear. When it was his turn to attack, he refused, stating his famous cathphrase, "Turning will give you herpes."
• 1955 - Jimi Hendrix is spawned from Buddy Holly's guitar and a rum-and-coke while illegaly turning on the New Jersey Turnpike.
• 1980 - Margaret Thatcher declares that she is not for turning, despite the best attempts of pro-turning lobbyists.
• 1990 - A dark shadow turns the world around when Clarkie is born.
• 1995 - Underwear outlawed in Paris. Riots ensue. Jim Morrision turns in his grave.
• 2006 - North Korea tests nukes. In response, America builds comsat stations; Iran upgrades zealots; Afghanistan makes turning weapons that have no use.
• 2015 - George Bush dies. He died from aserious case of turning.
• 2015 - Al Gore is arrested for the turning of an undisclosed ex-politician
• 2017 - The Communist Party stages a revolution and takes power in Britain. Margaret Thatcher turns in her grave, clearly demonstrating that she has been for turning all along.
• 2101 - War was beggining. What happen?
• 4000 - Nerds develop paste that makes them appear attractive. The girls turn red from laughter.

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[edit] Today in the DPRK

• New site provides outstanding insights in caveman-animal relationship. (pictured)

• Charles, if you are reading this your house is burning down as I type.

• Robert Mugabe bails out world financial system out-of-pocket.

• Sylvia's Mother admits she lied. "She made a pass at me!" says Dr. Hook

• The Pirates seize a shipload of morons - aliens disappointed, annihilation of Earth imminent.

• Black men more likely to get cancer. Cancer accused of racism.

• Bank Marathon to replace Bank Run in next olympics.

• Ignorance brings death and famine to all American Swine.

• Some of our bases have been repatriated. Hooray!

• Radio star Michael Savage has been assassinated.

• Ivan Ooze actor Paul Freeman's career dies.

• Stock markets soar as US House of Representatives approves bail out bill, economic crisis over.

• KKK makes controversial decision to back Obama for president.

• Paulson encourages banks to generate more bad loans

• My country is better than your entire continent!

Rodong Sinmun, page 2

[edit] It is an irreputable fact...

• ...that 'twas I who invented the light bulb; that ninny Edison, to whom I loaned the blasted thing, went and claimed it as his own, and never shared a dime with me - never?

[edit] You cannot deny...

• ...that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?

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Traffic Signs | UnBooks: An 82 Year Old Woman Wants My Body! | My mommy | UnTunes:Song has been (Deleted by the Artist) | Kim (sexy barista) | (The Farmer's Wife's Got A Four Inch Crack In Her, But She Ain't) Broken | Moron section | Do not change the title! | Grim Reaper (rw) | International Talk Like A Landlubber Day (rw) | Civilization IV (rw) | Spore (rw) | UnBooks:DIY and Carpentry Tips by Jesus Christ | Why?:Did I just read Twilight? | Klestosapharot | UnTunes:Myspace Is Ghay | Why?:Am I a Power Ranger? | Plato's Symposium: The Abridged Script | Republican Party Pornography | Total Trash | You should talk about ponies - A letter to Bill Richardson | Pie Chart | Fuck fucking fucked fucker fucking fuckups fuck fucking fucked fucking fuckup fucking fucker's fuck | Rule of Three | UnPoetia:Abraham Lincoln's fair-weather waffle frolic | Bomb Shelter

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[edit] Party members of the month

What can one possibly say about Hyperbole? In the past few months, his writing has liberated the Uncyclopedia people from the chains of mediocrity. He's practically rewritten the entire comedic bible in his stay at this website. Funnier than a bear is strong! Why, the sheer significance of this amazing writer's talents, completely eclipses the significance of events as important as 9-11! And that's not all. "Hype" as we like to call him, is quite the ladies man. Women are just falling all over him!!! And so am I! I'm falling all over him! I'm infatuated with this writer's REVOLUTIONARY contributions to comedy! I'm going to die! Do you hear me?! I'M GOING TO FUCKING DIE!!! That's how good he is!

A man of a thousand names, Multiliteralist is also apparently a man of a thousand literalists. Last month he arrived at Uncyclopedia with his metaphorical guns blazing, which was probably good, because arriving at Uncyclopedia with actual guns blazing probably would've resulted in some injuries. During Multiliteralist's short time here, he has already educated people about the horrible danger of the blank hole, the dangerous horror of the Spiteworm, the undeniable benefits of Total TrashTM, and the horribly dangerous horror-danger of the Cult of Klestosapharot.

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