Baby Weasel
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Baby Weasel is the single most deadliest threat to the universe as we know it. The only man known to be able to defeat him is Chuck Norris. Only when we can realize this threat can we stop it!
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[edit] The Birth
Baby Weasel was born in 1452 created from a genetic hybrid of the greatest animal, the ferret, and Chuck Norris, the most badass man in the universe. This project was undertaken by Stephen Hawking in order to finally create the smartest and strongest animal on earth. In order to properly create this masterpiece of modern technology, Stephen had to collect saliva from Chuck Norris to get his genetic makeup to combine with a weasel egg. Collecting Chuck's saliva proved to be difficult, so he snuck up on Chuck and stuck a thermomator in his mouth and ran. This is why Stephen was bound to his wheel chair. Once obtaining this, Stephen immediately fertilized the egg with a sperm cell created using Chuck's DNA. After 12 months of waiting the baby was ready to emerge.
Semptember 29, 1452 Baby Weasel left his artificial womb into the world. For the first 3 months he seemed to be living stable. He grew at an abnormal rate and became unbelievably intelligent as well. By 6 months he had mastered advanced calculus and could lift 500 kg over his head with one hand! By 1443, he became out of control and had outgrown his human curators. On September 30, 1872 Stephen Hawking died by a mysterious roundhouse kick.
It is thought by some that baby weasel is the cause of the cancellation of the beloved television series Walker, Texas Ranger.
[edit] Creation of a Devil
Baby Weasel fell to the dark side and created a league of evil weasel siths to bring down the world. They focused the efforts on creating a world completely free of all jedi, until Chuck Norris finally came to stop this.
On June, 5, 2066, Chuck Norris tracked down Baby Weasel and his sith underlings and challenged them to a battle, Father versus Son (and Underlings). The attack lasted for 3 days and at first started with Baby Weasel (and friends) fighting strong. However, Chuck Norris came back to bring him (and evil sith weasels) down forever. At the end, over 4,000,000,000 lives were claimed (most were human, dolphins suffered the second most casualties, only 3 weasels were destroyed. There weren't that many sith weasels...) and damage costs went in excess of $6 trillion. After defeating him, Chuck Norris incarcerated Baby Weasel and was thrown in jail.
Baby Weasel then ate off "Weird Al" Yankovic's face in Albuquerque with eleven of his brothers and sisters (they weren't sith weasels).
[edit] The Escape
Baby Weasel finally escaped in 2037 with the aide of Saddam Hussein. However, after escaping Baby realized that he should remain underground and not attack until later.
Currently (as in currently for us in the future sending this message to The Prophit), no one knows where Baby Weasel is, but people believe that he is somewhere in Fiji, plotting an attack any time soon (as in soon for us in the future sending this message to The Prophit)!
[edit] To hear Baby Weasel's war cry:
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