Backstreet Boys
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“Are you sure about the "boys" part? I'm really beginning to doubt that...”
~ Stevie Wonder on Backstreet Boys
“I love their music... It reminds me of myself.”
~ Sir Elton John on Backstreets
“It's a shame theyre no longer boys....it makes me lose interest.”
~ Geoffrey Leonard on the age of the Backstreets, claiming it is too old for him to do his 'thing' on them.
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[edit] About
The Backstreet Boys (El Queero in Mexico and Spain, and The Gay Douche Bags in Australia and the United Kingdomand Les pussies in the Former State of France) is an infamous revolutionary group consisting of 4 or 5 gay men (or women, you can't really tell) from the United States that was established in 1992. They are well-known for their shockingly successful psychological warfare tactics towards teenagers.
If you got five pre-pubescent girls and got them to scream like they were tripping, you would have found the backsteet boys sound. Though five lesbian donkeys being raped would produce the equal noise
The Backstreet Boys earned their title because they are rugged as hell and took on cops, weightlifters, lumberjacks and professional wrestlers in a series of historical street brawls. The only group they were not able to defeat were the Jets, finding the highly choreographed moves too difficult to defend against.
The backstreet boys rape little girls and then kill them and masturbate to them.
During the release of their second album, they got obsessed with food so the their second album is often referred as "The Fat Album" or as it's officially known as: "Backstreet's Fat".
During the recording of their fourth album, they got reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally high, hence the strange titles.
BSB got back to their food theme on their fifth album "Never Full". It is also their darkest and most personal album with songs like "Incomplete Hamburger", "I'm Still Fat" and "Never Full".
They are also known to be the creators of the new strain of Super AIDS. Backstreet Boys Plays Black Metal for Full ASS
[edit] Albuns
- Our First Album - 1996
- 1. "We've Got It Goin' Anal"
- 2. "Anywhere From Boobs"
- 3. "Get Drunk (You're The Fag For Me)"
- 4. "I'll Never Rape Your Heart (Again)"
- 5. "Quit Playing Gay (With My Heart)"
- 6. "Boys Will Be Toys"
- 7. "Let's Not Be Close To Boobs"
- 8. "I Wanna Pee With You"
- 9. "Everytime I'm Close To My Guys"
- 10. "Charlie"
- 11. "Let's Do It Naughty"
- 12. "Slow Down With It!"
- 13. "Anybody But You Girl"
- Backstreet's Fat - 1997
- 1. "Everybody (Backstreet's Fat)"
- 2. "As Long As You Feed Me"
- 3. "All I Have To Eat"
- 4. "That's The Way I Eat It"
- 5. "10,000 Chips"
- 6. "Like A Pizza"
- 7. "Hey, Mr. Mcdonald (Keep Feeding Me)"
- 8. "Set Adrift On Hamburger Trip"
- 9. "That's What He Ate"
- 10. "If You Want It To Be A Good Burger (Get Yourself A Big Tasty)"
- 11. "If I Don't Have Fries"
- Millenium - 1999
- 1. "Gayer Than Five"
- 2. "I Want My Bandmates"
- 3. "Show Me The Meaning Of Being Straight"
- 4. "It's Gotta Be Boose"
- 5. "I Need You Phoenix Wright"
- 6. "Want You From The Back"
- 7. "Wanna Booze You Up"
- 8. "The Fag"
- 9. "Back To More Farts"
- 10. "Spanish Guys"
- 11. "No One Else Wear Clothes"
- 12. "My Perfect Stan"
- Crack & Glue - 2000
- 1. "My Balls"
- 2. "Rape Is A Start"
- 3. "Get Your Mother's Boyfriend"
- 4. "Smiling Car"
- 5. "I Promise You (Everything With Ham)"
- 6. "The Answer To A Knife"
- 7. "Everyone Hates N*Stink"
- 8. "More Than Crap"
- 9. "Lime"
- 10. "Not For Free"
- 11. "Yes I Kill"
- 12. "It's Glue"
- 13. "How Did I Fall In Love With Glue"
- 14. "What Makes You President (Makes You Pitiful)"
- Never Full - 2005
- 1. "Incomplete Hamburger"
- 2. "Just Want You To Know (I'm Fat Again)"
- 3. "Crawling Back To Meat (I'm Never Gonna Be A Vegeterian Again)"
- 4. "Fat World"
- 5. "I'm Still Fat"
- 6. "Poster On Ronald Mcdonald"
- 7. "Eat It All"
- 8. "Drinking The Soda"
- 9. "My Beautiful Pizza"
- 10. "Safest Place To Eat (Mcdonalds)"
- 11. "Burger King"
- 12. "Never Full"
- 13. "The One Who Was Not Full" (Bonus Track)
- 14. "Rush Over Meat" (Bonus Track)
- Unrapeable - 2007
- 1. "Intro (Welcome To Gayland)"
- 2. "Every Man's Butt's Fine"
- 3. "Inconsolable (In Love With A Vegeterian)"
- 4. "Someone That I Already Blow"
- 5. "Helpless When He Smiles"
- 6. "Any Brother's Gay"
- 7. "One And A Million"
- 8. "Panic! At The Disco" (Tribute to their favourite band)
- 9. "Your Man Gets Blown (By Me)"
- 10. "Double Piss"
- 11. "Beat Me Right"
- 12. "Love Will Beat You Up All Right"
- 13. "Unfakeable"
- 14. "I'm Suspecting A Raping Baboon"
[edit] Singles
- "We've Got It Goin' Anal" - 1995
- "Quit Playing Gay (With My Heart)" - 1996
- "I'll Never Rape Your Heart (Again)" - 1996
- "Anywhere From Boobs" - 1996
- "Everybody (Backstreet's Fat)" - 1997 (From "The Fat Album")
- "As Long As You Feed Me" - 1997 (From "The Fat Album")
- "All I Have To Eat" - 1997 (From "The Fat Album")
- "I Want My Bandmates" - 1999
- "Gayer Than Five" - 1999
- "Show Me The Meaning Of Being straight" - 1999
- "The Fag" - 2000
- "Rape Is A Start" - 2000
- "My Balls" - 2000
- "More Than Crap" - 2001
- "Crowning (Fag of the Year)" - 2001
- "Incomplete Hamburger" - 2005
- "Just Want You to Know (I'm Fat Again)" - 2005
- "Crawling Back to Meat (I'm Never Gonna be a Vegeterian Again) - 2005
- "I'm Still Fat" - 2005
- "Inconsolable (In Love With a Vegeterian) - 2007
- "Helpless When He Smiles" - 2008
[edit] Core Members
- George Dubya Bush
- Nick Carter the 6th
- A.J. McDirty
- Chris Crocker
- Mathias Hooseldorf
[edit] Showdown with N*Sync
The most famous battle involving the Backstreet Boys took place against their arch-nemeses, the street gang N Sync (which they jokingly referred to as N*Stink). N*Sync's leader was the infamous axe-wielding lumberjack Justin Timberlake. They fought long years, N*Sync using their trademark stink bombs on the Backstreet Boys. However the Backstreet Boys surprised the helium voiced bastard and the rest of his band by unleashing millions of anorexic girls upon them. N*SYNC were killed, however a lesson was learnt in this epic war. Don't mess with pre-teen girls.
[edit] Return of the Backstreet Boys
After the rise of the worst evil the world has seen yet, a group called the Down loaders, a group of philanthropist business men known as the RIAA asked the great American diplomat Oprah to find the Backstreet Boys and bring them back together for one last battle. The plan was brilliant in it's simplicity. The Down loaders were hurting the world by attacking artists, so the RIAA, with the support of MTV decided to remove all artists and replace them with individuals and groups no one would ever want to attack.
[edit] Recent Warfare
Little did the RIAA know, the Backstreet Boys have their own agenda. Secretly they have been working to become actual artists. Their plan is to subversively include their art in the RIAA designed attack known as a "CD." Though their first volley, the "Greatest Hits" CD, was unsuccessful, they quickly released another attack entitled "Never Gone," an ominous message to those who oppose them. Rumors has it another attack is currently being planned.
[edit] Death
The members of the backstreet boys succomb to their tragic end at the end of a late night show (when we say show we dont mean the concert) in Corn Rapids Iowa, when all the members were sitting in a jacuzi, when Nick stood up to go take a shit, but fell onto his ass, simultaneously grabbing on to the other members of the band for support (they all liked the grabbing part), and inadvertanly fell out the window, landing onto the concrete, and died.
[edit] Upcoming Projects
The Backstreet Boys are currently in negotiations to become the Village People, replacing the original members, who have become far too old to be of interest to their core audience. A film, several albums, a website with pay-access adult content, and a disturbing parade are planned. Hollywood insiders report that the negotiations have stalled due to disagreements over which Backstreet Boy must wear the Indian costume.
[edit] Facts
- They often threaten the world with their music.
- They believe Spinal Tap is an arthritis medication.
- Often touch each other while Michael Jackson watches.
- It is rumored they were designed by Adolf Hitler.
- Their secret weapon is highly mediocre songwriting, which deafens all foes.
- All their choreography is by stunt doubles, which is why they wear sunglasses so often.
- Only two members actually do something, the others just stand there trying to be cool.
- They have twelve fans, one over the age of eight.
- They are proud fans of Joey Wheeler
- They somehow had an $80 million budget on a video clip that consisted of one shot.
- They tried making an album without engineered vocals. It sold 4 copies.
- They do not know where Canada is (thank god!).
- There have been 12 casualties at live performances for general badness.
- There have also been 14 deaths by over-hyper fans jumping and hitting their heads on the ceilings while finding out that there is a new song with the same chord progression of, 'Larger than life'.
- BSB once shot an entire music video without pants. It was never released, for it failed to pass the ultimate test-arousing their own mothers.
- If compared in any way to a member of N*Sync, the "bad boy" of the group will proceeded to go into an angry rage and then self-destruct, killing the other members.
- A musical organization made an award ceremony for 'The Worst Band', just to present them it.
- They love ebay so much that they recorded a song about it. They didn't write it; they contract the songwriting out to a team of chipmunks known as N*Sync.
- Vin Diesel was one of the original Backstreet boys but decided on a solo career.
- They have a spin-off band ominously named named the Blackstreet Boys, who appear to have very little, if anything to do with their source material, which for better or worse, is a very good thing.
- Tis a good chance they're just lonely lip sync'rs trying to find some love
- Are referred to when Bush mentions "weapons of ass destruction"
- Cant hold a candle to Skynyrd.....DAYUM STRAIGHT
- Are great friends with Michael Jackson
- Basically ruined the music world and continue to
- Recent polls show that they may actually be Gay
- Geoffrey Leonard, the well known Australian pedophile, advocate for 'boy sex' and author featured in the music video for 'Rape Is A Start'- he featured with a young boy named 'Jimbo' whom he made several sexual references to
- They are also fans of Jimmie Johnson and actually provided him a car. Jimmie finished first in the Gay Race 3000 in that car...only because he is the only driver to show up
- They shouldn't come to Australia
