Bag

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A device for the holding of things in, typically a bag will consist of:

Contents

[edit] Anatomy of a Bag

[edit] Handles

This part attaches to the hands of the person who wishes to transport things about. A gripping or grasping action is required; seek medical advice before attempting this for the first time.

[edit] Holdy bit

This is the part where items are placed, to be transported.

[edit] Exterior

If this part does not have a plain background with a large $ on it, return your bag. It is defective.

[edit] Bag-using Protocols

The ideal contents of a bag will be:

  1. Smaller than the bag itself.
  2. Not too sharp or pointy or cutty (to avoid damage to the bag).
  3. Made of something.

To place an item in a bag:

  1. Ensure bag is open.
  2. Ensure item is in hand.
  3. Ensure item is not already in bag.
  4. Bag.

If you are the proud owner of a bag, perhaps you would like to share your joy with other bag owners. Try your local supermarket or abattoir.

[edit] Warnings

To prevent lawsuits, use only as directed. Do not place bag over head while sleeping, driving, engaging in most social activities, or using heavy machinery. Do not pour corrosive liquids directly into bag. Keep bag away from children; do not use to transport children or pets. Avoid swatting people in the face with handbag. If bag is made of paper, keep away from fire. Avoid vomiting into bag unless it is designed for that purpose. Have your bag spayed or neutered, as bags who have not been spayed or neutered will become unmanigable upon the onset of puberty(which has particularly harsh affects on young bags).

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