Balalaika

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[edit] Balalaika

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Balalaika is a traditional Russian string instrument consisting of a single string held by index and thumb fingers. The string itself is usually made from a fibrous material "balalaikin", mined by gypsies in Siberia. Balalaika is typically played with a middle finger, but a skilled performer can use other fingers. It has been repeatedly proven impossible to play a balalaika with a tongue, although Russian Czar Vladimir Putin claims otherwise. The overproduction of balalaikas was the main cause of The Great Gypsy Depression in 1997, which led to mass unemployement and unrest amongst the tribes of Russian gypsies, precipitating into a brief Russian-Gypsy war of 1998.

[edit] Types of Balalaikas

There are 2 known kinds of balalaikas: the traditional acoustic, and a more recent electric version. The traditional acoustic balalaika does not depend on external amplifiers, since the performer himself can serve as an amplifier by simply ululating, while striking the string. It has been found that thousands of different sounds can be produced this way, making the acoustic balalaika a central instrument in Russian culture. The rising popularity of acoustic balalaikas can also be attributed to the instrument's relaitively inexpensive production costs, since the instument's main part, the string, can be bought from gypsies with beer bottle caps. Acoustic balalaika is an instrument of choice for anyone with a talent for ululating: small children, muslims, homeless and Britney Spears. The acoustic balalaika is widely known throughout Europe, Asia, Africa and South America. It did not receive much acclaim in North America primarily because the majority of the population is physically incapable of producing melodic sounds, a fact proven by Dr. Simon Cowell in a popularised scientific documantary "American Idol".

There are only a few documented sightings of an electric balalaika. Much controversity is revolving around this mysterious instrument. The rarity of an electric balalaika is attributed to the fact, that most Russian gypsies do not have the acess to batteries, or electricity in general.

[edit] Fun facts about balalaikas

Vodka greatly icreases the timbre, articulation and dynamics of an acoustic balalaika. In the traditional Annual Balalaika Competition, held in Moscow, any performer must drink a 100 grams of this fluid prior to the performance.

It is a surprising fact that vodka improves the listener's ability to absorb balalaikan music. Any judge in the traditional Annual Balalaika Competition, held in Moscow, must drink 200 grams of this fluid, prior to judging the contestants.