Banat
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Banat is a place in Romania where poor people and the government come to steal money from hard working Banatians. Banat is also known as "our faggot city Timisoara" by the Romanians and "Temesvar" by the Hungarians who are always crying about some shit that happened in 1920.
Contents |
[edit] Common knowledge
- Idiot #1: Man, my fucking cheap mayor has no money to put light bulbs in the streets because the moldavians stole them all to build roads. I hate moldavians.
- Idiot #2: We have in Timisoara more cars than in Bucharest!!
[edit] Internets in Banat
Strangely enough, Banat has the most internets of any place in Eastern Europe. The reason for this is simple. Most of the prostitutes in London, Amsterdam and Paris are sex-slave teenagers from Banat. The pimps back home create lavish web sites to display the goods, and orders come in from cities everywhere to supply them with whores. After a few years in other lands, these women return home and create their own web sites to advertise their young daughters and sons for sale to pedophiles from Germany.
Some wisdom words from Banat: Decat sa-ti para rau, mai bine sa-ti fie rau. (Instead of felling sorry, better felling sick). This can be used when you are invited somewhere to eat or drink, or you see free coffee somewhere, but you don't drink coffee (until then, of course, when you will take 3-4 cups and have a heart-attack).
A lot of great newspapers are read every day, with news where they learn how much the Moldavians and the government is stealing from them.
I am da MAN (romanian language required, rarely available as Romania cannot afford reliable databases.)
I see you stealing my money (still, stupid romanian language required)
[edit] People they hate
- 1. People from Bucharest
- 2. SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
- 3. You
- 4. Your mom
- 5. This guy (they love That guy!)
- 6. Gypsies (...<insert satirical joke>...)
- 7. Oscar Widle (how did he get in here?)
- 8. ????
- 9. Willy Wonka
- 10. Manelari (retards that listen to manele)
[edit] Living in Banat
Here you have a large selection of cabdrivers who will get you everywhere they want. Before going into a cab you must be very careful to see if the driver is not talking or drinking coffee. If he has any occupation (even reading a newspaper or watching a movie on his dvd player) he will be busy and NOT speak with you. If he is free, gently ask him where he is going and if he can take you there. Probably you will not have the luck to go the same route as him and must ask the next driver. That if there are more drivers there that are not speaking with each other. If you have the honor to find a driver willing to go on your route, you must make conversation with him while he is driving and watching his mini dvd player and bash Moldavians. Failing to do that will make him throw you out of the cab, again, while he is driving and watching his mini dvd player and bashing Moldavians.
You can also take the firobuz (wire-bus in Banat language)or the bus.
 Wonder of the science |
 If you are lucky you will not fall |
[edit] People living in Banat/Timisoara/Temesvar
- 65% Moldavians (that hate moldavians)
- 25% Oltenians (that hate moldavians)
- 20% Banatians (that hate all people)
It may seem that there are 110% people in Banat. This is a common misconception, everybody knows that "Banatu-i fruncea" (The Banat is my ass.)
The wonderful people of Banat have great education and are good with money. For example, when someone is sent to sand niggers or Africa to slave for french corporations they steal the toilet paper from their workplace so they can spend the money on overpriced coffee in Temesvar. Or they steal yogurt from shops in Gabon, because only idiots give money to niggers. Of course, all the money they make by hardworking, slaving and starving are stoled by moldavians when they come home.
The music here is also the best and all the great Romanians singers came from here. This is a small sample that you can hear while living in Timisoara (specially in weekends in the morning)
What can we say about the dance? Well, is magnificent. Just look at this real life like and vivid dance. The music is a little slow for what they can really do.
|
