Barbados

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[edit] Barbados, AKA Bargaydoes AKA BrokeBack Island

Imagine the LOST-island was taken over by Adebisi from Oz, vagina is under heavy BOYcott, customs dont search you but ask you to "dance like a woman", and the black fog is not trying to kill you but rather sodomize you and marry you for papers. Welcome to Bargaydos, here is you complimentary AIDS.

Official Motto: Gay Pride and Sex Industry

National Anthem: Fagets in plenty when you need

Official language:Queen English

Prime Minister: Simon Adebisi[1]

Governor General: Clifford (LOL) Husbands.[2]

Disturbing Bargaydos facts:

1: Barbados economy is completely dependent on Nigerian scammers.

2: Famous Landmarks include bajan night club Holetown, The very suggestively shaped Mount Gay, gravesite of infamous Butt-Pirate Brownbeard and Rihanna´s forehead, a very popular destination for adventurous climbers.

3:Cricket is to sports what Boy George is to Reggae.

4: This is SERIOUSLY the national Drink:

bb~2.jpg

Typical Bargay-ian folk music and dance:

[3]

[4]

Lyrics to a traditional Faget song about migrant workers returning home...:

(talking) Ladies and gentlemen this is Captain Tobias Steelcock Welcoming you aboard Coconut Airways Flight 372 to Bridgetown Barbados. We will be flying at a height 32.000 feet and at an air speed of approximately 600 miles per hour. Refreshments will be served after take-off. Kindly fasten you safety belts and refrain From smoking until the aircraft is airborne.

(singing part) Woh I'm going to Barbados woh backa to the palm trees. Woh I'm going to see my boy friend Woh in the sunny Caribean sea.

I don't want to be a rent boy all my life. I've seen too much of Brixton town in the night. Fly away on Coconut Airways fly me high Bargaydos Guy.

I look up the sky and I see the clouds. I look down at the ground and pick up my five pounds Fly away on Coconut Airways fly me high Barbados Guy.

Woh I'm going to Barbados woh backa to the palm trees . . .

Far away from London Town and the rain It's really very nice to be sodomized again. Adebisi met the Coconut Airplane. Now I know he loves me so.

Woh I'm going to Barbados woh backa to the palm trees . . .

(more damn talking) Ladies and gentlemen we are now commencing our approach To Bridgetown Barbados. The weather is fine with a Maximum temperature of 90 degrees Fahrenheit. The sky is blue And the palm trees are really cool. Captain Steelcock and his Crew hope you have had a pleasant flight and that you will Fly Coconut Airways again.

(once again the chorus)

Woh I'm going to Barbados woh backa to the palm trees . .

Cuntroversy

A national uproar amongst the Faget natives in Bargaydoes occurred in early april 2008, when the Ministry of Cruising discovered a website called simply "Welcome to Barbados", where alleged Rape victim Tori Amos slandered their great and masculine nation with offensive novels about forced vaginal intracourse and horrible attempts at poetry by other victims, who clearly were asking for it.

For two days and 2 nights, Adebisi locked himself in his chambers and brutally manhandled and in fact raped many members of Parliament and numerous Ambassadors. He then walked out to his Balcony and delivered a historical speech directed to American Imperialists everywhere:

" IT HAZ CUM TO MI ATTENTION DAT DI GREAT AN PROSPIRUZ NATION OF BARBADOS IZ UNDA ATTACK BY OWA ANCIENT NEMISIS, DI LEZBEENS. I DID NEVA BRING DIS YA ISLAND INTO DI FOREFRONT OF ANUS PENETRATIVE EFFORTS, JUST TO HAVE DIS OFF KEY RED HAIRED HARLOT COME TEK IT AWAY FROM WE.
DEY IZ TRYNA MISCONSTRUE FACTS ABOUT OWA NATIVE SOIL BUT LET ME TELL UNO DIS, LITTLE BATTY BREDRIN: AS LONG AS BLOOD IS FLOWING TRU MI ERECT PENIS, BARGAYDOES SHALL REMAIN A HAVEN FOR HOMOSEX! WALEMBELELE FAGET! WALEMBELELE BARGAYDOS!!!"

This was followed by three days of rioting and spontaneous burnings of "To Venus and Back" and "Under the Pink" among the Loyal Fagets. Bargaydoes has declared Tori Amos persona non grata and Adebisi has claimed he will pay one hundred thousand Bajan dollars to anyone who successfully rapes her again.

100.000 $(bajan) for Rape

Crazy (and covert racist) Shit Tori Amos said about Barbados:

" I have good days. Like if I get really good coffee ice cream with just the right amount of chocolate syrup. "

-Tori Amos

" A lot of people see themselves as victims, even when you have to stand in line for ice cream. "

-Tori Amos

" Some people (IE Bargaydians) are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much. "

-Tori Amos

" Aggression starts where people suppress their feelings. At some point those emotions force their way out and that results in all sorts of trouble. "

-Tori Amos

and her reasons for attacking this peaceful nation of Empowered Homofagets?

" I'm doing this so that people who feel that at 21 their lives are over, or they don't know how to have an intimate physical relationship, that they can be beautiful people again. Ice Cream. "

-Tori Amos''

Other People that h8 on Barbados: