Barista
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Baristas are often emotionless and highly logical humanoid aliens paid minimum wage to make substandard coffee in Starbucks. Often, Baristas will avoid eye contact and say very little. However, most Baristas are highly all-knowing, and when questioned, will have an answer to nearly anything. Most Baristas like taking steroids, because of this most Baristas are found in pharmacy's.
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[edit] Famous Baristas
Famous Baristas are generally either exceptionally good at what they do or are an exception to the rule and become logical and emotionless. Baristas also have an instinctive hatred for basketballs and ring ropes, the former being incapable of holding grudges (which infuriates the Barista for unknown reasons) and the latter is often violently shook by the Barista during matches.
David Batista is a Barista. "Big" Dave Batista's hobbies include serving up cans of coffee and whoop-ass unfortunately for his enemies he does not 'whoop-ass' with his arms or legs
"Big" Dave Batista holds one victory over Booker T (and he also holds a 'victory' over Sharmell if you know what i mean)- who let him win out of pity - he has been slapped like a ho by King Booker so often that he now has an imprint on his cheek King Booker has also created another imprint on "Big" Dave Batista's left buttcheek.
"Big" Dave Batista has not had a bowel movement in twelve years.
"Big" Dave Batista is called the "Animal" for his fondness of raping horses with his Ken Doll and sleeping in his own filth on the floor of a barn.
"Big" Dave Batista caused a rush at all bathrooms as over 80,000 people all decided to take a massive power shit in honor of Batista's career 47 people were killed. Then, afterwards, they were resurected by the greatness of the Undertaker.
"Big" Dave Batista is rumored to only be in the WWE for the women....we know better. (He only likes the guys!)
"Big" Batista currently has 762 career homeruns. His record breaking homerun was voted by fans to be launched up his ass.
"Big" Batista once pulled his hamstring by picking up a phonecall from Vinny Mac. As a result, he was forced to vacate his world title.
"Big Dave Batista has AIDS from kissing Rebecca DiPietro, the whore...("the whore" can apply to either Dave OR Rebecca, both are legitimate whores...)
"Big Dave Batista nearly failed to outfart Michael Moore even with the help of steroids.
"Big" Dave Batista is the mascot and representative of the San Francisco Steroid Giants.
"Big" Dave Batista was actually a retarded, wild creature that took form of a overly-musclular, yet even more retarded retard then called itself the animal.
"Big" Dave Batista is known world-wide for his daily overdosage of steroids.(He doesn't even open the container!He eats the container, too!)
"Big" Dave Batista has a gay friend called Amanda Hugnkiss. He says they're just friends.
[edit] Should Batista the Barista get a rematch?
Absolutely, because that's his Title. And come this Sunday, he'll be needing it back. But still, he'll probably lose it in another day or 2. Or will he????????....(He probably will be forced to vacate the title because he'll probably take too many steroids and become even more retarded than usual)
[edit] Should "Big" Dave Batista be in the hall of fame?
When he stops being a retard, then he'll get in.
Doubt it, but then again all the steroid freaks have been in the hall of fame.
He probably will get into the hall of fame but after about a week or so, people will forget that it ever happened.
Batista will be in the Hall of Fame because he's the best ball sucker ever...or thats what Triple H said after Batista said he wold give him head in exchange Triple H would have his slut, Stephanie McMahon, fire Shelly Martinez.
[edit] Steroids and ball sucking allegations
Dave Batista has been accused of taking steroids approximately, 12432242376032962517254528120-108725t51320365342-026525232efarg934346729256UGG321072247524832436753698753492 times. These allegations were found to be true when he cut himself at the airport and steroids leaked out.
He is also Known to be one of the biggest cock suckers (politician) in wresling history. This evident by the fact that HHH,Cena,Orton,JBL and Batista get all of the spotlight all of the time while being among the least talented. Vince's dick is very happy as a result.
[edit] Some People that "Big" Dave Batista have fought
Hulk. That damned Hulk has got to be on steroids! i barely beat him! -EVEN WITH MY OWN STEROIDS!!!
Eric Bishoff's nephew Eugene in an I.Q. test by -3 points.
[edit] Additional Resources
[edit] Too Hyper
While "Big" Dave Batista shakes the ropes in the wrassling ring, he trys too shit himself BATISTA IS A RETARD!!! OH MAH GAWD!!!! NOW HE'S TRYIN TO SHIT HIMSELF!!!!! HERE LIVE!!!! ONLY ON SMACKDOWN!!!!!!
