Barney's Scale of Super-De-Duper Popularity

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Barney's Scale of Super-De-Duper Popularity was created by Barney, George W. Bush's pet dog, find out what the most awesome thing in the universe was, so he could use his owner's riches to buy it. Unfortunately, this effort failed, but expelled "the List" as a result.

A picture of Barney, hard at work researching cardboard.

1 History
2 The List
3 Current Standings
- 3.1 Top 10
- 3.2 Bottom 10

[edit] History

On the day of December 23, 2004, Barney began his quest to discover the most awesome thing as a result of finding out his dad was named Kelly. His true motives behind this quest are unknown. Several months later, after careful research, Barney accidentally pushed the wrong button on his computer, causing it to expel the List. Several days later, Barney gave up on attempting to track the List and now spends his days playing Tetris on a Game Boy given to him by Optimus Prime for his efforts.

[edit] The List

The List is stored in an iPod hooked up to a computer in George W. Bush's closet. It continually monitors everything in the world and updates the list several times a millisecond. Items in the list are ranked by measuring the amount of the element awesomium that they contain. The standard unit around the world for measuring awesomium quotient is the babibop, or iB. One babibop is equivalent to 3.88 milligrams of awesomium.

[edit] Current Standings

As the List categorizes every last thing ever known to exist in the universe, it is naturally very long. As such, only the highest and lowest 10 can be listed.

[edit] Top 10

1. Unborn Successor for the Title of "King of the World"
2. A typo
3. 9q2494(hiqqw#-4-qw8dadU#Ueni2337.flv (45:32, flagged as adult material on YouTube)
4. A year-long bubble bath
5. Heaven(?)
6. Jessica Alba being your Sex Partner for Life
7. Jessica Alba and Keira Knightley Porn Video
8. Jessica Alba and Katherine Heigl Porn Video
9. Jessica Alba and Jennifer Morrison Porn Video
10. Jessica Alba and Jessica Alba Porn Video

[edit] Bottom 10

88,665,123-023 - 88,666,365,934. Over one million Zune players
88,666,365,933. A used condom, donated by Bill Clinton as a gift for Israel and Palestine's summer camp at Camp David
88,666,365,934. A used Bill Condon, donated by a condom for Jesse Israel and Palpatine's summer camp at Camp Horny David
88,666,365,935. Kazakhstan's number four prostitute!
88,666,365,936. Chinchillas
88,666,365,937. Gigli
88,666,365,938. Jessica Alba (ironic!)
88,666,365,940. Your Mom jokes
88,666,365,940. Paris Hilton's used jail attire
88,666,365,943. Strawberry Fields (shall stay at the bottom of the List forever, unless Wikipedia intervenes)