Baron von Brunk

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Article regarding growing internet icon and local Lancaster man, Baron von Brunk. This article is to clear up any misinformations and myths regarding his website and internet legacy.

Baron von Brunk's infamous mugshot
Baron von Brunk's infamous mugshot

Contents

[edit] Section A - History

Julius von Brunk is currently the only living folk hero ever to come out of Lancaster, PA. He is also an Amish man who is credited with the invention of the phonebook. Other inventions made by him include:

The printing press

The colaspable printing press

The Transformers

The Ninja Turtles

Hulk Hogan

Amish people

The over-the-shoulder boulder-holder

Burt Reynolds

Tony Danza

The talking statue of Marcel Marceau

The Beetlejuice vanishing vault

Creepy Crawlers

Edible bug spray

Micro-Machines

Mac and Cheese

Hot sauce

Denver the Last Dinosuar. Hes my freind, and a whole lot more.

The artist formerly known as Prince

The English Dictionary

Lambert the Sheepish Lion

The Olive of Mankind

The Jackson Five

Third Life

Brunk also claims to have inspired Hardee's curly fries, Moe Fine's haircut, the crossword puzzle, the inflatable dartboard and the disposable television.

[edit] Section B - Time Travel

Brunk became the first Amishman to travel back in time when he successfully tested the flux capacitor with his partner De Nomolos (time villain from Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey). The two went back in time to the year 1913 to prevent Jimmy Hoffa from being born.

Eventually, Brunk sliced off De Nomolos' fingers and fed them to King Tut. The knife used to cut the fingers was sold on eBay for $3,400. Using the money he earned from the sacred knife, Brunk bought a monster truck. He then teamed up with Swamp Thing to replace Evil Knievel.

[edit] Section C - For Cool Guys

Steve W. is currently freakin sweet.

Matt F. is currently playing Harvest Moon, that game's sweet.

Steve C. is Currently "Pimping Hoes".

[edit] External links

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