Bash.org
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
A historical site, bash.org is one of the most important creations of the 21st century. Bash.org is the most complete chronicle of Internet-based communication, the preferred medium of the century. Created in August of 2001, bash.org hosts scholarly communications from IRC, AIM, and other forms of online communication submitted by computer users around the world. The site is like a wiki, except submissions can take months to appear. Not all submitted content is accepted.
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[edit] The Creators
The original creator of the discussion database on Bash.org was Spock. After the Klingons, led by General Omar Bradly, invaded his star ship and stole the code, Bash.org was born. Many people have speculated as to why Generals Omar Bradly might have done this, he did this because his rice crispies stopped snapping, crackling, and yes, popping. Angered by this, he gathered up his army of Klingon warriors and invaded Spock's starship to steal his top secret "idiot code". It's original purpose was to make people stupid so him and Data could take over the galaxy, but by coincidence, it doubled as a database where users could add conversations. After Spock's humiliating defeat, he disguised himself as a human and went to hide on the planet earth. The group of Klingons killed Omar Bradly and took the code for themselves, to make the site that is now Bash.org.
Spock, like Hitler and Shi Huangdi, was jealous of the excellent lives students lead. He came up with the bash concept as a way to stop students from doing any work, the idea being that they would subsequently be removed from university. Unfortunately he missed the fact that nobody does any work at uni anyway and that other sites such as collegehumour and uncyclopedia are equally good procrastination tools.
[edit] Criteria to Be Accepted
- Self-referential
- Esoteric
- Quotes an existing submission
- Scripted/rehearsed
- Someone, somewhere, somehow finds it funny, even if this someone is a pre-pubescent 11-year-old boy
- As obscene or profane as is physically possible without causing SEHS
- "OMG", "WTF", Nigger or "noob!" appears at least once
- References striking someone with a large, penis-like object
- Racism, sexism and/or chauvisism recommended but not required
- Contains timestamps in about half of the quote, for no apparent reason
- Results in humiliation of people talking in the quote, such that they may never be able to go outside again (Like they really need to...)
- Including bodily fluids increase the propability of being approved
[edit] Situation as of October 2005
Bash.org is no longer available as the server was eaten by goats, who then vomited it up at qdb.org (not qpb.com as originally reported).
[edit] See also
Categories: Mass Media | Computers | Culture | Internet


