Batroc

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It is time that zee people get zee record straight in who is zee greatest fighter in zee world, none other than moi. Batroc Zee Leapair!!! Deez entry is being written by moi, Batroc, to dispel all zee horríble rumours zat have bringed greet inphamy to moi honorable pèrsonne.

Contents 1 Batroc, Le ìnvincible!!! 1.1 Baron Scaredy-Cat 1.2 The Iron Lung 1.3 Captain Universe 1.4 Mon other victories! 2 Batroc, International Sex sensation!!! 2.1 Restraining orders against Batroc! 3 Batroc ze wise!!! 4 People who try to emulate Batroc 4.1 Batroc the Leper 4.2 Batroc II 4.3 Le Loup Garou 5 External links

[edit] Batroc, Le ìnvincible!!!

'Zees eez ey troi recount en zee many foes 'zat moi, Georges Batroc, 'ave defeated. Ozzairs 'ave fokoosed on zee losairs and liers 'ou, through ey melange of gossip and trickery, claim zey 'ave defeated moi! Moi, Batroc le Sauteur!(Encroyable!!!)

[edit] Baron Scaredy-Cat

Ah, 'eet wuzz a gran battle of wits. Moi, Batroc, defeated zees (tres formidable) Tactician Principal- 'az 'ee' ouwaz masquerading 'az ey three-year-old little girl. 'Owevair, zee Baron could not fool mon senses enhanceès, Moi was capable 'uvv looking right through 'zat fiend's disguise and defeating 'eem after a long and epic battle that lasted from dawn to sunset. After defeating Baron Scaredy-Cat, a femme arrived and claimed I was attacking her baby granddaughter Courtney. But zee femme could not overpower moi! One big victory for Batroc!

[edit] The Iron Lung

Zat coward Iron Man could not fool moi when he was hiding from moi in an innocuous hospital, which I infiltrated pretending I was hurt after a battle with Captain America (I just pretended to be hurt to get him to lower his defenses, Ah, Batroc, you vulpine genius!). I decided to get some vacations inside ze hospital and hit on ze foxy nurses. And one day zat I was doing recónassaince inside ze hospital I saw The Iron Lung inside its monumental body armour. Ah, he lamented ze day he tried to doublecross Batroc! I attacked swiftly and mercilessly. Zat guy is ze living proof you better not fool with ze Leapair!

[edit] Captain Universe

Defeated with a single punch after he was masquerading as a cardboard cut-out in mon local blockbuster. You shall never look down on moi, monsieur!

[edit] Mon other victories!

• Sissy man and Sissy boy.
• The Incredible Nosebleed
• Captain Glassjaw.
• Dr. Won't-Hurt-a-fly
• The Incontinentor
• Ceramic Man
• French fries
• Captain Low Self-esteem
• Dr. Completley and Totally F***ing Invicible (Long story. don't ask)
• The capture of Castle Greyscale

[edit] Batroc, International Sex sensation!!!

Zee ladies cannot resist to the suave personality of Batroc! Wherever I go I have to be careful not to break the ladies' heart just by preferring one over ze others!. Ladies, there's plenty of Batroc for you all!!!

[edit] Restraining orders against Batroc!

“Because a restraining order is just another way to say "I desire you"”

~ Oscar Wilde

• Jennifer Lopez.
• Angelina Jolie.
• Paris Hilton (Cylon)
• Anna Kournikova.
• Sylvia Saint
• Jenna Jameson.
• The Olsen Triplets
• Tina Fey.
• Ellen DeGeneres (You cannot fool Batroc, I know you desire moi!!!)
• Courtney Love
• Monica Lewinsky.
• Michelle Rodriguez.
• The Dallas Cheerleaders.
• Every single Playboy Centerfold since 1988
• Matt Damon (Don't ask, Batroc's too embarrassed to recall it!)

[edit] Batroc ze wise!!!

You don't know it, but Batroc is also an academic consultant. Mon many doctorates in La Sorbonne make zat fool Reed Richards look like a imbecile! But what fun is life behind a desk?

[edit] People who try to emulate Batroc

Alas, my glory has brought forward many who try to live up to mon high accomplishments, but zey fall very short. Ah, will zey ever learn?

[edit] Batroc the Leper

Such a shame! his only superpower is fall apart on command, he knows nothing about Savate or Strategy, but he looks up to moi. can you blame him?

[edit] Batroc II

Ah, mon daughter who will continue mon legacy! Batroc is very proud of her!! (Yes Batroc has a daughter you stupid Taskmaster! Nobody questions mon sexualité. Batroc has scored more times than you have winked!!!)

[edit] Le Loup Garou

Just a copycat. Achieving nothing for himself, he decided to copy mon fashionable attire, he even has a mustache like moi! I would fly to Spain where he lives to kick his sorry dérriere, but Batroc is tré busy now. Remember to cut your daddy a piece of the action, mon ami!!

[edit] External links

Mon homepage!!