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“Freedom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111oneoneleven”

~ American Soldiers on crack

“For Ping and Country!”

~ British Soldier on AOL

“MOVE! YES SIR!”

~ Admin on campers

The Battle Grounds, a mod on Zero Point Five Life, brings players back to the history of the mythical North America. This is when guns were really fucking annoying to reload, shoot, and be chased by red-eyed enemy soldiers while reloading.

[edit] Overview

The Battle Grounds represent the Revolving War, where British soldiers were fighting against American soldiers with boomsticks and metal stuff attached to the boomstick. You must re-boominate your boomstick after every shot.

[edit] Teams

Although the text says British soldiers pwn and Americans suck at war, it really makes no difference when it is put in a balanced FPS game.

[edit] British team

The British soldiers are specialists in stealth and camouflage. Their stealth skills involve them sneaking up on enemies with bright red coats in the forest. They are excellent in field combat as they can be mistaken for a wall painted red, as the text say, although no player would bother doing that.

[edit] Royal Commander

The Royal Commander wields a drilled wooden banana and a broken metallic walking stick. Commanders are specifically skilled in running, in their camps, naked around with a towel, thus training the ability to run faster than anyone else on their team. They are experts at reloading because their gun, or drilled wooden banana, is smaller. Royal Commanders do not command in the game, but they just fight. They are often lead by their own soldiers.

Royal Commander spawn with 45 balls.

[edit] Royal Infantry

Royal Infantries are often unlimited. They are equipped with their adorable Brown Best Rifle. They are trained to stand as a wall, to confuse the enemy with an actual wall, but because this has put into the form of an FPS game, nobody does that anymore. They run fairly fast, but not as fast as the naked Commander.

Their Brown Best Rifles are effective as a killer, but a piece of shit as a sniper. Taking exactly eight seconds to reload, they first eat some gunpowder and pour a little bit of the remaining under a pile of metal rubble. Then they go for the barrel of the rifle and pour the rest into the gun, with the Ball inside the twist of the paper bag. They use a replica of a spear, or ramdrod if you think I'm stupid, to shove all that junk in.

They usually mean to leave their guns half-cocked until their Commander shrieks "MAIK REDDY!", but due to the excitement from the ramdrod action, which simulates another situation, they fully cock their guns before the command, thus having the Commander go "Ah, f00q it."

Their Brown Best Rifle is also attached with a Beyunnat, a fancy name for a knife at the barrel of a gun, meant to poke people. Lethal if hit in the head.

[edit] Loyalist

Loyalists are Americans who are wannabe British soldiers. They don't have the official British Brown Best Rifle, so they brought their own. Stolen from a random armory, they are equipped with a Penis-Vain Rifle. The fire power is a piece of shit, but as a sniper, enemy soldiers who distantly encounter Loyalists should immediately press P for defence.

They are also equipped with a butterknife. Anyone who gets killed by a Loyalist with a butterknife should have their corpse peed all over.

[edit] American Team

Americans are exceptionally adapted to water combat. As part of their military power, they have a fuckload of ships, and their army are dressed in blue, commonly mistaken as water or a leak in the ship.