Battle of Dublin

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The Battle of Dublin took place in 1942, and is a special feature on the remastered version of Spielberg's classic hit World War II. The German air force, or Luftwaffe, having been thoroughly raped by the British submarine force, decided that they needed a large floating base for further operations against little children in London, since the vast majority of the British population was escaping to safety via a magical Victorian wardrobe. Thus, the largest ship in the world, the USS Ireland was set as the target of a massive German spaceborne invasion.

The invasion was prepared aboard the German space shuttle Atlantis, although the Endeavor also assisted in the proceedings. After the generals conferred aboard the KM Karlrusche space station, the attack commenced, and the port side of the USS Ireland was quickly secured by the German troops. As they moved towards the starboard side, however, they encountered unexpected resistance from the native population, which insisted that the Germans "fight like men, with their fists" and participate in beer drinking contests. The Germans kindly agreed to the beer drinking proposal, but they were more hesitent to abandon their Panzers for streetfighting against angry drunkards accusing them of being "filthy Royalists."

As Nazi forces neared the ship's cabin, oddly named Dublin, a number of angry sailors holding pitchforks, crucifixes, and other weapons of mass destruction attacked the German forces (see image). Unfortunately for the Germans, their steel helmets were no match for angry wooden clubs charged with the hatred of the Act of Union. The German garrison was slaughtered, until the last 20 men reached a truce with the Irish sailors agreeing to cooperate in order to attack the bow of the ship, commonly known as Northern Ireland.

This battle was removed from the theatrical version of World War II because director Spielberg complained that it was "too flabbergasting."