Battle of Google
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“Fools, thou not knowest that thou canst not kill me?”
~ Google Symbol on Yahoo army
| Battle of Google | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Conflict: The Great Internet War | |
| Date: 23 June 2006 til' 26 June 2006 (estimated) | |
| Place: Google homepage | |
| Outcome: Total Genocide, Google victory. | |
| Combatants | |
| Yahoo | |
| Commanders | |
| ³²¹Yahoorlz¹²³ | %Evil_Google% |
| Strength | |
| 10,000 soldiers, 1,000 hackers, 250 tanks | 4 Great Google symbols, 1 Giant Monster, The "I'm Feeling Lucky" button, The Search Engine |
| Casualties | |
| 11,249 | Search Engine |
The Battle Of Google, one of the most devastating battles of the 21st Century, was an underlying cause of The Great Internet War.
Contents |
[edit] Summary of THE BATTLE
The Battle of Google began when Lord Yahoo, a shrewd and ludicrous dictator of Yahoostan became enraged with a neighboring monarch, the vociferous King Google, who ruled valiantly over the nearby land of Googlashia. What started out to be a mere territorial dispute over who would inherit the Rhineland (which was the boundary between each nation) soon grew into a great epidemic of war as the short-tempered Lord Yahoo declared war upon King Google and the land of Googlashia. On June 23, 2006, Lord Yahoo attacked the bewildered Google with 11,250 soldiers. Google, which was a land brimful of fawns, dwarfs and other spawnish weirdass civilians of elven descent, could only find seven aggressors out of the 14 million pacifist civilians residing in Googlashia to fight for their cause. However, the seven soldiers were highly trained, and they fought to the death, killing everyone in their path. The battle was no easy win, and it was extremely difficult and long. In fact, it was a grand total of three, long, painful days. It was a sad day for the Internet when the general public was notified of the tremendous number of casualties resulting from the battle, which was a total of 144,GJH,448,44F,444. The news of the tragic death of ³²¹Yahoorlz¹²³, the Yahoo Army commander, was one of the saddest elements of news pertaining to the war on the side of the Yahooligans. He was killed in a climactic point during the battle when the I'm feeling lucky buttonier gallantly plunged a knife into his left armpit. However, %Evil_Google%, the Google Army Commander, lived by taking refuge at the port of Ebay under the protection of the Googlian Marines throughout the course of the battle.
The Battle of Google ended with the defeat of the Yahooligan Army. As part of the "Googlashian Treaty", the Yahooligans became forever in debt to the remaining habitants of Googlashia, and were admitted as slaves throughout the U.R. Pee'in Empire.
[edit] The battle
At 6 PM, on June 23, 2006, the Yahoo Army arrived at Google's Homepage. Tricked by the foolery of the evil Lord Yahoo, they thought it would be easy to invade the Googlian's homepage, kill everyone in their way, hack them to death and easily achieve victory, thus inheriting the evil empire along with the Rhineland. However, the battle took a turn for the worse when the Giant Google Monster, from the great mountain of Mordor entered the scene. The Yahooligans attacked, killed, and hacked everyone they could, but the Googlians turned out to be valiant, strong war-God's to which they could not compare. There were more casualties from the Yahoo Army, with only one soldier out of the 11,250 surviving. Even he was seriously injured. Four days after the battle he died. Although all seven of the fighting Googlian's lived, their search engine suffered tremendous injury. Thankfully, he was rushed into intensive care and was healed within two hours. King Google and the Googlians seemed invincible…
[edit] A sad day for the Internet
Everyone on the Internet was shocked at the temerity of this conflict. Yahoo lost millions of users as a result. Google, on the other hand, only lost 2 users, which didn't seem too big of a deal to King Google. But King Google didn't know was that these two users were the infamous Adolf Hitler and Kim Jong ll who would later move on to issue a rebellion to over throw the Googlian Dynasty. This event later became know as the Violent Google Rebellion, which caused thousands deaths. Upon the discussion of this battle, Great Internet Leaders disagreed on what was to be done to put down the rebellion. These elements lead to great unrest and political divisions between the leaders which in turn lead to the Great Internet War.
[edit] Long-term effects of the battle
Despite ignorant popular assumption, this wasn't the unique battle from the Great Internet War, although it contributed to the ever-growing problems sparked by King Google and Lord Yahoo. The battles resulting from the Battle of Google and the Violent Google Rebellion became worse and worse, each further sparking rebellions across the U R Pee'in Nation. Many Internet Nations joined to fight in these conflicts. This era of war, rebellion, revenge, and strife is known as the Internet Dark Ages.
The postwar battles were much worse. No one could stop this evil juggernaut of misery and death.
[edit] Mysticism as a result
WARNING: NEVER EVER CLICK THE EVIL BUTTON! Whoops!!! That's how I ended up here then??? :p Hahahaha.
[edit] See also
- The Great Internet War
- Yahoo
- LOL, Internet Genocide
- Violent Google Rebellion
- End of the Internet
| The Great Internet War |
|---|
| Battle of Google - LOL, Internet Genocide - Battle of Japan - Flash-Photoshop Conflict - Ebaum's Rebellion - Blood Gulch - Battle of New York - CS_Temple - Battle of Silicon Valley - The Fad War - The Yahoo Reversal - End of the Internet |
