Battle of Mount Isa
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| Battle of Mount Isa | |
|---|---|
| Part of the Platypus Rebellion | |
 A rare color photo of a platypus soldier diving into a nearby river to seek refuge from the chaos of battle. | |
| Date: January 13, 1834 | |
| Place: Mount Isa, Australia | |
| Outcome: Decisive United Australian Victory | |
| Combatants | |
| United Territories of Australia | Platypus, Flying Fox, and Dugong Liberation Front |
| Commanders | |
| George Meade | Robert E. Lee |
| Strength | |
| 42,520 Natives; 7,230 Saltwater Crocodiles | 31,882 Platypodes; 11,922 Flying Foxes |
| Casualties | |
| 4,229 Natives; 1,097 Saltwater Crocodiles | 12,292 Platypodes; 2,332 Flying Foxes |
The Battle of Mount Isa was the largest and by far the most sanguinary engagement of the Platypus Rebellion, costing the unified Platypus Tribes thousands of soldiers and draining their ability to continue the insurrection much further. The combined platypus and flying fox tribes under the supreme command of General Robert E. Lee invaded the heartland of the Australian Outback, after winning a stunning victory at the Battle of Ayers Rock just a fortnight before. United Australian forces, under the overall command of General George Meade, set up a strong defensive position close to Mount Isa, and after a fierce day of fighting, the rebellious tribes retreated. The result of the battle severely damaged their alliance with the Flying Foxes, leading to an eventual renouncement of their alliance.
[edit] Dancing in the Outback
The Battle of Ayers Rock appeared to seal the fate of the Allied Australian Coalition. Thousands of soldiers were maimed and the insurgents appeared in control of the war. General Meade, however, skillfully retreated into the outback. Lee, followed hot on his heels but soon realized his troops were growing tired (they were platypodes, they're not the obvious pick for an army to be walking in the desert), and decided to camp near Gilgham's Ford. Meade sensed weakness and attacked. Although he came out of the battle the loser, he managed to destroy the Holy Spur, a sacred shrine of the platypodes, and rumored to be the hand spur of the most famous aquatic mammal of all time, Platypus Ceasar. Morale plummeted. Around this time the Flying Foxes came to aid the platypus soldiers. Lee, not wanting to stay in the Outback (the waiters were suspected of taking part in a spy ring), and having a severe case of dyspepsia (the waiters were suspected of tampering the onion rings), moved to face Meade.
[edit] The Last Time A General Eats Onion Rings
By noon on the 13, the battle lines had been drawn. Lee immediately noticed that his forces were at a disadvantage. Earlier in the week the U.T.A. forces had signed an alliance with the saltwater crocodiles, and the crocodiles were the last thing Lee wanted to fight. Still, he had a significant advantage in air power, with over ten thousand flying foxes. The battle would close-fought, but Lee soon devised a daring gamble that might win the battle, and perhaps, the war. Seeing that Meade's right was thinly protected, Lee sent his flying foxes to bombard them and hopefully push them back closer to their center. But the saltwater crocodiles leaped in the air and managed to slay many of the enemy, with nothing but a small dent in their number. Lee, in desperation, ordered a charge that flew in the face of military logic. He sent his most elite force against Meade's strongest troops, and after three hours of fighting, it became clear who the victor was. His decision has long been the subject of critizism from military strategists, although Lee always blamed the onion rings that the U.T.A. spies attempted to poison him with.
[edit] Aftermath
Lee retreated with devastating casualties, he had been bested for he first time in battle. It was one of the bloodiest battles on the Australian continent, so great that after it there was a four-month lull in the fighting, except at sea. The alliance between the platypodes and flying foxes began to disintegrate as a result of the battle, and would eventually spell doom (d-o-o-m) for the Liberation Front.
