Battle of New York
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The Battle for New York was the second of the great battles during the Internet War that had repercussions in the real world (the other being the Battle for Japan). It is also the only battle which caused actual human loss.
| Battle of New York | |
|---|---|
| Conflict: The Great Internet War | |
| Date: 1 January 2008 till 15 January 2008 | |
| Place: New York, Google Earth | |
| Outcome: Minor Google victory. | |
| Combatants | |
| Yahoo | |
| Commanders | |
| Yahoolz the Second | %Evil_Google% |
| Strength | |
| 4.5 million soldiers, 1,000 tanks, 1 minor search engine | 1 Great Google Symbol, 2.25 million soldiers, 1 major search engine |
| Casualties | |
| Soldiers: 4 million, Tanks: 3,999, Engine: 1 | Symbol: 0, Soldiers: 2 million, Engine: 0 |
[edit] Build-up to battle
The high lords of Google were upset about %Evil_Google%'s lack of courage in the face of the enemy at the last battle, so they sent him to the lowest post they could think of, New York on Google Earth. Google Earth. No one was going to attack there anyway. They also gave them the weakest symbol and an old search engine.
Meanwhile, the Yahoo States were bitter about their defeat. So they re-built their army. Armed it with their own search engine, although it was a weaker one. They also picked a spot that would be the weakest point in their defense. Google Video? Not with all those civilians watching free porn. Planet Google would be busy cleaning up Martians. So they attacked Google Earth. But they underestimated the terrain. Instead of a flat, coloured ground, it was an actual build up of New York.
[edit] The Battle
The battle began at 6 am precisely. The Yahoos fired the first shot, toppling a building. This got the Googleans mobilised. They rolled out the old search engine, which took a few moments to power up. By this time, thousands of soldiers on both sides had died, or transported some where deadly via the search engine. As soon as the Google engine started the Googleans roared with approval. Huge swathes were cut into the Yahoo army. What most corresponded to the defeat of the Yahoos was the loss of their search engine. The Google engine sent it and it's 500-strong crew to an airless asteroid about to be sucked in by a black hole. Which is strange considering the Google engine was supposed to send them to New Jersey.
The war itself could of ended their had the Google engine sent the CS_Temple in New York to Kentuckistan, as will be discovered later…
[edit] So what about the Human deaths?
The two search engines firing so many times opened up a cybernetic-temporal hole that meant any thing happening on Google Earth, happened on real Earth. This meant all the buildings collapsing actually collapsed. It is rumoured that the US Government knew about this, and used the Attack of the 500 foot Jesus as a ruse to throw off the scent. This is flimsy, as every one knew that the 500 foot Jesus was in Washington when it happened.
| The Great Internet War |
|---|
| Battle of Google - LOL, Internet Genocide - Battle of Japan - Flash-Photoshop Conflict - Ebaum's Rebellion - Blood Gulch - Battle of New York - CS_Temple - Battle of Silicon Valley - The Fad War - The Yahoo Reversal - End of the Internet |
| The author of this article doesn't care at all if you edit it, and heck your stuff is probably funnier than mine. |


