Bavaria

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Bavaria (known as Bayern in Orc) is a Northern German state, and is the largest exporter of efficient people in the world. The name Bayern is thought to come from 'FC Bayern' or 'Bayer,'although the origins of those words remain elusive. Bavaria is best known for things such as Purity, Beer, and Laws, and is also home to Gingerbread, Austria, and David Hasselhof.

1 History
2 Culture
3 Biological and Ethnological Classification
4 Major regions in Bavaria
5 Politics
6 Tourism
7 Notable Citizens

[edit] History

Traces of Germanic settlers date back to the end of the last Ice Age, around the time where the Beer Glaciers in the what is now Bavaria began to melt. The advance of the Romans was halted in 9 AD by the Bavarian tribes under the ruthless chieftan Heidi at the battle of Gefühltestreusselschnecke in modern-day Wisconsin. Bavaria passed from ruler to ruler after the collapse of the Holy Roman Empire, the most prolific of which was Emperor von Dachshund, a short-legged, elongated individual from the Hund family. Bavaria was not politically unified until the 1870s, at which point it was ruled by Chancellor Wolfgang Petry. The Bavarian sub-region of Europe was accused of separatism in 1914-1918 and 1939-1945 and was subsequently handily defeated in both wars. Modern Bavaria is characterized by rampant progress and catastrophically low inefficiency levels.

[edit] Culture

Cultures of the region have been classified as primarily 'Hunting-Drinking' societies, although some scholars prefer to classify them as a 'Yodeling-Marching' society. Bavarians are regarded as proud, and they do not hesitate to impose their wonderful culture on yours, testament to their extreme generosity and concern for the well-being of others. The concept of Gemutlichkeit (comfort) is endemic to the part of the world, although in recent years has been emulated elsewhere, with little success.

[edit] Biological and Ethnological Classification

Biologically speaking the Bavarians are classified as Homo Bavaricus, and inhabit the upper echelon of the food chain. Their only natural predators are Volpertingers, Pterodactyls and Fear itself. Bavarians have been known to clash with a similar species, Homo Teutonicus (Prussians), often leading to brief periods of world domination and genetic purity. Bavarians are best distinguished by their ability to yodel and consume copious amounts of pretzels, whereas Prussians are known for being able to screw in lightbulbs using five people instead of one. Much like Prussians, their diets consist mainly of cannonballs, steel, fermented vegetables, Jägermeister and the weak.

[edit] Major regions in Bavaria

There are three major regions in Bavaria. These are Mallorca, Oberammergau and Unterammergau. Historically, a fourth region existed (Gingerbreadhüttenstadt) until it was consumed by Hessian children who became lost and hungry. Bavarians pride themselves greatly for their heritage; they often dress in traditional bondage gear known as Trachten, which dates back to the first Lederspankenfest in 1020 AD, in the Alpine town of Futzen. Homoeroticism is vigorously encouraged in all regions. Bavaria is home to a diverse geography. The North is characterized by absolutely nothing, whereas the South lays claim to the Gumdrop Forest, the Himalayas, and Lake Nicaragua on the border of the separatist region of Austria.

[edit] Politics

Politics in Bavaria are dominated by two leading parties, the Christian Democrats and the Apres-ski Party. Tensions between both parties remain high and are a source of much debate among Bavarian wizards and brewmeisters.

[edit] Tourism

Tourism is a major industry in Bavaria. Millions of tourists flock to Bavaria every year to see Castle Neuschwanzstein, the Himalayas and the Berlin Wall. Bavaria is also home to the Naked Olympics, Naked Special Olympics and Naked World Domination events. Bavarians are some of the world's most avid tourists, making frequent excursions into Poland, Austria, France, Britain, Russia, Eastern Europe and all other inferior nations worth invading. Many foreigners inhabit Bavaria, most of them Turks, Huns, and Chinese, whose recent political situation have led to instability on the German-Chinese border and civil unrest in major Bavarian cities.