Before time

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

"'Before time' was quite a while ago." --Oscar Wilde

Before time is a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really long time ago. Then again, it can't be, because it was BEFORE time. Whatever.

[edit] When was that actually?

New scientific evidence indicates the actual time of before time. After finally simplifying Schroder's Equation, the output is 958,918,591,819,891,891,389,148,195,891,859,284,929,842,482,857,285,718,478,147,283,572,837 BC. Since this number is inanely large, it is just referred to as 0 BBT, or "Before time".

At this time, says Adolf Hitler of the Time Research League, Eris Discordia was elected President, and God just had His 10th birthday party. The presents given at God's party are not known, but we will be finding out soon.

After 0 BBT would be 1 ABT, or "The beginning of time".

[edit] What was before "Before Time"

Seeing as "before time" is actually a specific "year", we need to find a way to measure everything that happened before it. If your head hasn't exploded yet, then I'm Santa Claus.

[edit] Period of Slaag

The Period of Slaag measures a time when progress was being made on pre-timular civilization. It saw many pivotal moments, such as the Invasion of Paris Hilton, as well as a brief 143 year era obsessed with clothing. The Period of Slaag follows the Invasion by Ssfsf'isfo The Conquerer, which brought good things to the universe.

Era of Ayn Rand: 1,000,000 BBT - 1 BBT
Era of Wikipedia: 1,131,314 BBT - 999,999 BBT
Era of Oscar Wilde: 636,111,001 BBT - 1,131,313 BBT
Era of Nazis: 1,112,441,144 BBT - 636,111,000 BBT
Mini-Era of Clothing: 1,112,441,000 BBT - 1,112,441,143 BBT (This era quickly died after the Invasion of Paris Hilton)
Era of Hugs: 666,666,666,666 BBT - 1,112,440,999 BBT
Era of Ssfsf'isfo: 999,999,999,999,999,999,999 BBT - 666,666,666,665 BBT -- this era was discovered on July 66, 2005 by Oscar Wilde

[edit] Period of Ice Cube

Before the entire multiverse had been conquered by Ssfsf'isfo, everything was a giant ice cube. Ironically, temperatures reached an excess of googolplex degrees. Unfortunately, numbers cannot used for specific areas, so we have to make approximations based on the Commodore 64 in the basement.

Era of Uncyclopedia: A Bajillion BBT - 999,999,999,999,999,999,998 BBT
Era of Eras: A Zillion BBT - A Bajillion BBT
The Beginning: A Fucking Long Time Ago BBT - A Bajillion BBT