Ben Stein

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Ben J. Stein. The J standing for "Jesus this guy is so motherfucking awesome".

Ben Stein was an American actor, economist, and personification of evil. Ben Stein is best known for his role in the film Ferris Bueller's Day Off and for being the lovechild of Judas Iscariot and Cthulhu.

[edit] Early Life

Ben Stein was born in the fires of hell nine million millennia before the birth of Jesus Christ. It is believed in some cultures that Ben Stein was not born, but was made with a hammer and knife crafted in the depths of Jahannam and made from the souls of one million rapists. Other cultures portray Stein as being born in Washington, D.C., November 25, 1944. However this has been proven false. Ben Stein is believed to have earned a degree from Columbia University.

[edit] The first coming

In 3000 BC, Stein rose from his dwelling in Gehenna and set fire to all of Babylon. The people of Babylon bowed down to him and pleaded for him to spare their lives, however Ben Stein knew not of mercy and sent forth an army of demons to wipe out all human life on earth.

[edit] Second coming

In 1986, Ben Stein faced a peril beneath in earths crust and in the depths of hell that no mortal man should ever speak of. Ben Stein fled to the land of men and hid in the jungles of Madagascar. A group of animals from the New York zoo found him and Ben Stein killed them without mercy. Ben Stein then burned down the jungle in rage and turned the seas to stone. Ben Stein walked for twenty years across the vast ocean to Idaho where Ben Stein now lives with his family.

[edit] Worship

The worship of Ben Stein was once only practiced by rapists and blasphemers, but now it is becoming more popular due to his film career. The first organized group of Ben Stein worshipers called themselves " Children of Stein " and where active in Philadelphia during the 90's. Now they have spread across all of North America and parts of Europe. Although Stein Worship is still believed to be the sister religion of Satanism, it has become socially acceptable in most parts of the world.

[edit] As a food product

Ben Stein is also considered a tasty treat in Indonesia and Thailand. The Ben Stein is a piece of fried apple of a stick, covered in batter and usually covered in gravy.

[edit] See Also

• Bueller.....
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• Monotone
• Repetition