Ben Stiller
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“Whatever happened to Ben Stiller?”
~ Ben Simon on Ben Stiller
“Ben Stiller here gnaws demons, vendor well, team of whelk!”
~ Mewtwo on Ben Stiller
Benjamin Nawawooyaya Stiller is an American actor of Jewish and Irish descent who is known for his great hair and ‘can do’ attitude. He is also famous for being the current Vice President of Ninja Pirate Island, a position he succeeded by killing Perry-Winkle Stevens on the mountain of PolkaDot Love Racism.
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[edit] The Early Days
The origins of Ben Stiller are still mostly clouded in mystery, mainly because no one cares enough to find out about them. He was probably either born or made but the possibility remains that he may be a by-product of the greenhouse effect. It is also rumoured that he was raised by bears meaning he had to quickly develop high quality acting skills to avoid being eaten. This rumour is backed up by Stiller’s good tree climbing ability and his thick luxurious coat. See "The Early Days".
[edit] Biography
Stiller started as a film student but dropped out when the pressure of the 8 hour weeks became too much. Another allegedly contributing factor to the dropping out was that he lost the charger to his video camera, severely restricting its use in the production of his films, but Stiller has neither confirmed nor denied this.
As Stiller’s career blossomed he began to be plagued by accusations from critics claiming he couldn’t act. In response to those claims Stiller has reportedly said “I have a lot more money than you”. Defenders of Stiller’s acting often mention his stint in Captain Planet as an example of his diverse skills. It was perhaps one of his greatest professional career opportunities in 1993 the South American planeteer (called Ma-Ti) in charge of the Heart ring, who was not well liked by his colleagues, was burned, drowned and then had a heap of earth dumped on him by a cyclone in what could only be described as a freakishly bizarre natural accident. Stiller proceeded to step into the role seamlessly for the rest of the series earning himself an Oscar, a Pulitzer Prize and a two for one coupon from Subway.
[edit] Social Circles
Ben Stiller is unfortunately often confused with Ben Affleck. This is usually attributed to the fact that both have an active interest in applied physics; reportedly the two teamed up to build their own particle accelerator in Stillers parents basement in 1998. Claims that their disturbing similarity is due to the fact they are part of a clone army are generally dismissed as being too boring to care about. Stiller has been linked with many young Hollywood starlets in the past. Notables include the submarine that starred in ‘The Hunt for the Red October’ and Britney Spears before she got crazy ugly.
==Zoolander♥== blue steel... magnum... =>
ARGH!
ARGH!
ARGH!
ARGH!
ARGH!
NO!!!!
ARGH!
...yeah...cough cough
[edit] Trivia
- Ben Stiller is ugly fuck and schvin.
- Stiller's father, Jerry Stiller, played the one fat guy's dad in Seinfeld and the fat girls dad in King of Queens. He is well-educated in the science or chicken/rooster/hen procreation.
- He met Owen Wilson on a hunting trip in Sweden. They have been married ever since.
- Ben Stiller has never worn a manseirre. Or bro. Whichever's funnier.
- Although Stiller is left handed he hasn’t let that set back ruining his career.
- An accidental fire started on the set of the movie ‘Banagan Rides Penis Again’ and Stiller was overcome by smoke and collapsed. His hair proceeded to pull not only Stiller to safety but also the camera man and the sound engineer.
- Stiller had an imaginary mouse friend called Stilton who unfortunately passed away in 2003.
- Stiller often guest lectures at Oxford University for the Physics department where he is affectionately known as Professor Stilltonium.
- Stiller is often confused with someone who is funny
- He steals from the church collection plate
heheheheheheheeheh
