Bernard Quill
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[edit] Quill's Beliefs
Although Quill's early Cheesecakeian restorationist teachings were similar in many ways to other movements of his time, Quill was and remains a controversial and polarizing figure, both because of his collection of religious and social innovations, and as a result of his large, devoted, and powerful following, which has continued to grow to the present day.
Adherents to denominations originating from Bernard Quill's teachings currently number approximately thirteen million followers. The Church of the Ironic Cheesecake.Inc is the largest denomination, with over 12.2 million members; the second largest is the Community of Cakeians with about 250,000 members. Most other, smaller denominations, with membership numbering from tens to hundreds, are offshoots of one of these two main denominations.
[edit] Early life
Barnard Quill was born on December 15, 1988, in Sydney, Australia. Like many Australian Christians of their era, Quill‘s family was influenced by reported visions and prophecy. In his early teens, Quill reportedly earned money using a spoon to divine the location of lost or buried money or other items. At about the same time, according to several written histories from the late 1990s, he experienced a theophany.
In Quill's late-teens, he said he was visited by the archangel Brian, who directed Quill towards his backshed, in which he allegedly discovered a set of ancient spiritual artefacts, including the 20,000 year old manuscript, The Divine Cookbook at 3.42pm on the 24th of November 2005, along with a golden spatula and silver whisk. Nineteen years before this date was the birth of the child of the cheesecake. So that she would not be recognised by the forces of chocolate fudge brownie evil, she was given a name that no sweet delight could ever work out, her name was Heather Von Sprinkles. She was conceived in the mountain Sticky Toffy and born under the light of the silvery moon. Once a year you can see her face glowing on the top of every cheesecake made with love, and with her divine power she will grant each true believer with one wish. Unless it is a Thursday in which case she is getting her back waxed and can't make it. At first unable to understand the unrecognisable language, (now known as Bakerian, coined by Quill as homage to the manuscripts author) he witnessed an additional divine visitation, this time non other than The Baker himself, who directed Quill to translate the writings using the golden spatula and silver whisk. Quill enlisted the assistance of contemporary Jason Pestana as Scribe, and together the team quickly set to work translating the book from its unknown language. Despite never actually observing the manuscript itself, as Quill always kept it stored within a large cooking pot while translating, Jason Pestana remaining a loyal follower, never for a moment doubted its existence, quickly attaining one of the highest positions in the establishing church as Minister of Propaganda, Administrations, and Applications, and a permanent member of The Council of Nine. The book was published in its current form in March 15th 2000 and it was hailed an immediate success with top critical reviews and mass economic success, becoming the foundational document of The Church of the Ironic Cheesecake.Inc.
[edit] Religious Figurehead
Ever the entrepreneur, Quill was quick to capitalise on this success by releasing a Manifesto, comprising of an in depth interpretation of the Cookbook, and the doctrine of beliefs and practices of the newly establishing The Church of the Ironic Cheesecake.Inc. Over the passing months following these initial releases, various other doctrines have been released. The list includes works as sparse as 'Reflections on Irony', another book written by The Baker some 16,000 years ago, which was amazingly, also found by Church founder Bernard Quill, though this time in his ceiling. Also released was the much hyped 'Gospel of Cheesecake', a collaborative effort by Quill and Chef Byron, and various others written by various theologians of the Cheesecake faith.
Upon writing The MotCofIC.Inc, Quill had indeed set the first building blocks, and thus set out to establish the Modern theological belief system that would quickly gather enough followers to become the now established Church of the Ironic Cheesecake.Inc. Gathered from quotations and extracts, The MotCofIC.Inc is arranged in a much similar fashion to that of the Bible, consisting of verses grouped into chapters grouped into books grouped into the MotCofIC.Inc itself. The Manifesto includes a large portion of a chapter of "The Book of Explanations" which recounts how the recipe presiding within the The Divine Cookbook was revealed to The Baker.
According the The Manifesto of the Church of the Ironic Cheesecake.Inc and all following Cheesecakian and official church documents the Highest prophet, founder and Messiah of the Church is the 20,000 year old Supernatural Chef The Baker. It has been suggested by various Cheesecake theologians and historians, that Bernard Quill, the revivalist and founder of the current church is the baker reborn, due to his fulfilling the prophesy of the rediscovery of the Cookbook, although the prophesy has been interpreted to include the Divine recipe of the Ultimate Cheesecake of Salvation, of which's location is still unknown. For this reason Quill would fail to be the true Messiah reborn until he manages to locate this still missing document. This argument for Quill as Messiah reborn has also been refuted by various other Ironically Cheesy Historians, as they have interpreted various verses of the Cookbook as prophesising that the return of the Messiah would herald the Second Baking and the 150 year Judgement of Humanity, which has obviously not as of yet occurred.
[edit] See also
- Ironic Cheesecake Texts and Scripture
- The Divine Cookbook - by The Baker
The Manifesto of the Church of the Ironic Cheesecake.Inc written by Bernie Quill and Chef Byron in early 2006
- The Manifesto of the Church of the Ironic Cheesecake.Inc - by Bernard Quill
- Treatise on Irony in a Religious Dairy Context - compiled by High Priest Bob
- The Gospel of the Ironic Cheesecake - by Bernard Quill and Chef Byron
- Cookbook of The Ironic Cheesecake
- Baking a Theology, Five Easy Steps to Salvation
- The Book of Ingredients
- The Book of Inconsistencies
- The Book of Life Death and the Superfluous Cake In Between
- The Divine Cookbook - by The Baker
- Ironic Cheesecake concepts and personages
- Things significant in Ironic Cheesecakeism
