Beta
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
|  This article needs love | |
| This article is currently in a bad state, but all it needs is a little love. Please give some love by rewriting it. | ||
Beta, or β in the ancient Greek formation, was the second letter in their vastly inferior alphabet. It may be described as a B with more style or panache to it, or it could just be gay. Note the large tail feathers, used for attracting Alpha tail. It being the second letter of the Greek alphabet, nowadays it is used to describe the seconds of many things, like helpings or winds.
................................................................................................And I'm just some random who likes to be called Navin or Dino or DK, and i'm trying to give this site some love.
Contents |
[edit] Beta Versions of software
- Main article: Beta version
By far, the most common use of the word or letter beta is to describe an error-filled version of shitty software, or the final version of freeware built by bipolar java programmers without the desire or energy to come up with a clean, non-memory-hogging version of their ripoff of Pac-Man Sr. Beta testing, then, is the prerelease of the program to people other than the coder, allowing bugs that ought not even exist to be ironed out before releasing the "final" version, which has even more bugs than the beta because it has more features that weren't tested, which leads to Service Pack 1, which fixes a bunch of those bugs in a gigantor download package that will take roughly four days to download using the fastest internet technology now available.
Examples of this may be found everywhere on the internet. In early 1999, for example, Microsoft accidentally leaked (by way of a trusted employee) some of the source code for the then-beta version of Windows XP. Now, on Wikipedia, you might find some information saying that this was bad, because of copyright problems or the dissemination (insemination?) of guarded information into a public forum. Or, if you managed to go there right after a particularly pointed episode of the Colbert Report, it might tell you that it was a bad thing because it worked, and Microsoft had yet to put in all the bugs, quirks, glitches and "surprise features" that make it the gloriously, hideously debilitated junk it is today.
Many beta versions of popular viruses are also available online. However, it is recommended that beta testing of viruses be left to professionals, like the Government, or your little brother's computer when he's not looking.
[edit] The Beta Male
In studies of human and animal interaction, the term alpha male comes up a lot. In short, the alpha male is the one who either has kicked way more ass in the troop than anyone else, or the one who looks like he could kick severe ass if you step to him wrong. He (or she, but that's unlikely) is the leader of the pack, the head honcho, badass in charge, top dog, master of the domain, and all those other things.
The beta male is not. In short, he is the second place in the pack, but the alpha male of the rest of the pack. They do the real work of the Alphas. The Betas rely more on intelligence while the Alphas rely on brutal strength. The Beta tests if an Alpha is worthy before he or she will follow. If an Alpha is unworthy, then they will not be followed. If an Alpha will not step aside, then they will be removed by cunning. Betas are cunning that way. They hold the pack in order. Without Betas, the Alphas would drive the pack into anarchy.
[edit] The Beta Videocassette
"Betamax" was a type of home videocassette used for a short time in the late 1790s. It utilized a half-inch magnetic stone tablet assembly running through a poorly-designed internal camcorder track, which recorded information at a rate of about four bytes per inch running at three inches a second, for the ability to store one pixel of medium-high resolution video without audio at a framerate of 20 frames per minute. It has since been replaced by more advanced methods of storing video, like AOL instant messenger advertisements, Laserdisks, Blu-ray, and using a length of fiber optic cable strung taut between two empty tin cans.
[edit] The Beta Particle
Beta decay (Not to be confused with Entropic Decay, which happens when you leave out your Tropics too long) is a kind of nuclear decay, whereby a relatively massive particle is emitted from the nucleus of a heavy material. Without going into the gory specifics, this is approximately modeled by imagining a fat chick projectile vomiting four lead pellets welded together.
