Bhakta Thukaram
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[edit] a.k.a. The Man Who Knew Too Little About Raising Monkeys
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| Original Ninjastar I award this page a Ninjastar because I think I'm special. –Thukaram before being bitten by a monkey
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Bhaktha Thukaram(b.12th March 1901 d.15th August 1972) a.k.a Santh Thukaram was a renowned saint and philosopher of the mid-twentieth century hailing from the remote village of Dehu, Maharashtra in India. He is known for his love for monkey caps and also for being the only supporter of Chelsea Football Club. Ever.
[edit] His Early Foray Into Sainthood
After an uneventful childhood where he made many unsuccessful attempts to father Che Guevara, his life took a turn; at the tender age of 15, he met Saint Sudhaama, who was a staunch advocate of Kannada Kuloddharana Samithi (aka I Made Love To That Gay Society). Thukaram became Sudhaama's protege and found enlightenment in his master's doctrines.
By the time Thukaram was 20, the Samithi's Stalwarts; owing to an outbreak of flu caused by excessive Alfred Hitchcock quotes and acceptance of Pizza as bribes by the members; fell out of favour with the public. Thukaram; though stifled; found solace in a different kind of Chinese Preaching. So he embarked on journey towards the Chinese country on his faithful BSA Triumph. During this course, he found Burma (a princely state ruled over by Elvis Presley) an ideal place to set up his school. The school was funded mainly by the kind community and a Mad Scientist who sold Bicycle Helmets and Articles That Help Control Flatulence When Stuck In A Lift With A Hot Girl (ATHCFWSIALWAHG).
[edit] Later Life
By the early sixties, the military regime of Burma came down heavily on Religious Organisations and all people with exceptional I.Q.s. Thukaram was forced to flee into neighbouring Bangladesh (then still a province of Bollywood). For the next ten years, he devoted his life to achieve his master Sudhaama's mission of creating Navakarunadu, a sovereign Kannada state. However he only managed to create this worthless piece of tripe. A stray bullet, during the 1972 war ended the Saint's life. Few people however, know that the bullet was actually a stray drop of mucus that had been sneezed by Chuck Norris during the Plague of 1684. Today, we celebrate the genius that was Thukaram with an annual holiday.
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