Bharati Vidyapeeth University of Pune

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This is perhaps only article that does not have a corresponding page at Wikipedia. Perhaps, this University is not worth it.

“I Have Seen Places Where Stupid Things Happen”

~ Oscar Wilde on BVP,Pune

“I was born intelligent, but BVP,Pune fucked me”

~ BVPian on BVP,Pune

About a thousand years ago, people used to go to on Himalayas to pain themselves, and returned with the supreme knowledge, and a boon. Today, they go to BVP,Pune. The difference they are cursed and know nothing.

[edit] Origin

BVP or erstwhile Bharati Vidyapeeth Doomed University as was established through a special act of Parliament in favour of Raja Kite Runner Steps. The act was not acted upon and was suddenly passed in the year 1857, just after the Sepoy Mutiny in Meerut. The Britishers were really angry over this, and they decided to establish an educational institute where no education was provided. And hence by this special act, also known as that "The Goddamn Act of 1957", BVP was established. There are some true rumors also that, a neighboring country of India, is providing financial aid to the university.

[edit] Motto

The motto of BVP is looto. Looto is a word extracted from the Harrapan civilization, and surprisingly is the most uncivilized word and a practice in India. It means "to extract even the last drop of blood, by frustrating the people". A similar policy was used by vampires, to suck the blood of people.

[edit] Department of Workshop

The most powerful department in the university is the Department of workshop. Most of the people from that department are found driving an auto-rickshaw after the college hours. This is a matter of pride, as auto-rickshaw is the national electronic transport vehicle of India. In 1769, when Netaji was killed by a bomb planted in his auto-rickshaw, the government decided to grant this status to auto-rickshaws. So sad !!! Well, you must have noticed, that i have been writing things about everything here, but the department of Workshop. This is the same technique that we ha ha ha, its nice and fun to fool others use in our semester exams lol, it is really interesting. Because this makes the topic appear very very very very long, and there is a good probability, chances, percentage that the person who checks the answer sheet, also called as a professor or an assh0le, sometimes, will give us high marks, just because he is too drunk to read this much lengthy answer.

[edit] The Department of Redundancy Department

Introduction

Also known to outside world as the Department of Computer Engineering and Information Technology ( Humph Humph, can't they have two seperate departments! ). This departments is s headeds bys a persons who is famouss fors the ki karoti tumi and the facts thats he hasen't seen any movie in theater since 2007 . Bar Bar. One of the most famous spot of the students from this department is the Lab 1, also un-officially called as PVR Priya. This is the only place you can get everything, the freedom to show the talent. Boys generally show their talent by using Mobile phone, slangs. The nerds and geeks show their talent by creating and introducing viruses in the PCs, harassing lecturers and Lab Assistants. And when girls come to show their talent, everyone, just watch their perfectly geometrical pair of talents.

Systems

Most of the systems in this department do work. Most of the systems in this department do actually work. Most of the systems in this department indeed and intentionally do work. Their job is to consume electricity and do nothing. In this way they help in increasing the annual power consumption, and hence statistics say that India is fast becoming a power consuming nation. They consume power in every thing they do, they do. As already said, this is the Department of Redundancy Department, so a student is supposed to take every exam at least two times. The department makes this sure, by suddenly turning off the power supply at the last half an hour of the practical exam. The students are un able to show their programs, and hence, they are supposed to take it once more.

Faculty

The faculty of this department follows the Uncertainty principle. "Thou can't simultaneously determine the location and identity of a faculty, unless you are pervasive in nature." Stated simply, it means that you can't find any faculty member when you need him the most. This is the concept of Faculty Hiding. This concept is a derivative of data hiding. They say that "Data is something you should be really ashamed of. And hence you should always write your code in such a way that no one, not even you or your code can ever ever access the data." You can easily frame easily frame the similar statement for faculty hiding.

Website

This department has a separate website, simply because of the fact that there are a lot of sites where webs can be found. The department believes in perfect harmony with nature, and ecological balance, so you might find a rat coming out of the CPU box, or a lizard sleeping comfortably on the keyboard. The people believe in Information Technology in almost every aspect, be it spam or anything else. To promote SPAMming, they have put the gMail id of every faculty member in a hyperlink format. This makes sure that they get at least 500^10 spam per second. In this way, they can also sue Google, which claims that their Gmail storage space is increasing exponentially, and is expected to fill up the entire vacuum space in the Universe, by the time you read this article. Anyways, the unofficial wes-bite of the department is this

[edit] Greatest Strength of BVP

After watching the hazardous effects of hacking the computer network, the university administration decided to take a very great step. They decided to shift all of their dependencies from Computer to paper and files. This is the greatest strength of BVP, Pune.This is

1. because no one can hack or crack into the system.
2. because it makes sure that things are not available when they are needed.
3. because it makes sure that the students have to submit at least 12 forms for five theory exams that they are supposed to take every semester.
4. because it makes sure that every form has twice the residential address, address for correspondence, permanent address and address of local guardian (if any).
5. because it makes sure that you are supposed to fill the name of university on every form.
6. because every dog has his day.
7. the university fails student to earn money through revaluation form. and more surprising is that the results are declared on the day of back log exam......

sonal,deepu,pari give passing certificate if u r not able to pass the paper. PRINCIPAL ask himself m i pricipal b'coz u don't know what to do what not to do Detention is mystery.......every guy afraid of that ,they think it will come on 10 or 60%.........