Bhutan

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search

You were maybe looking for the odourous organic gas Butan, but don't bother. Bhutan smells just the same


Wilde mountains! Weird names! Retarded shepards and mountain villagers. Ornamental dragons! It disqualifies itself as the Wales of India by mere soberness!

~ Oscar Wilde on Bhutan

A Tibet wanna-be

~ Darth Vader on Bhutan

Bhutan's main exports are ketchup and weed. The women in Bhutan are extremely agrresive and have a strong sense of national pride, but i find it rather useless since i have never seen bhutan on a map. I am not sure if the have enough cloth even to make a flag.

འབྲུག་ཡུལ
Bhutan Land of the Buttons
Bhutan
{{{image_coat}}}
(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
Motto: "Don't push the button"
Anthem: "Buttons by Pussycat Dolls"
Capital Kalimpondgond- longkajonglingasa
Largest city Thimphu
Official languages Chindi
Government Mixed
 -Emperor of Bhutan Jigme Singye Wangchuck
 -President Microsoft
 -Prime Minister Lyonpo Sangay Ngedup
National Hero(es) Pikachu
Declaration
of Independence
From Honduras in 1904
Currency Buttons
Religion Code Coolie
 Ethnic groups Bhutanese: 74.3%
AOL Users: 24.7%
Chewbaccas: 1%
 Major exports Buttons, Chewbacas, Dolphins, Fish, Shampoo and Gravy
 Major imports Bob Marley, Chai, Cows, Newspapers, Textiles and Yogurt


Bhutan is a landlocked country, closed off from the Nirvanic Ocean by Indian federal states Shangri-La and Xanadu. The name "Bhutan" comes from the gas with the same name, emitted in abundant amounts from the frequent cow dung heaps that besides unclimable mountains constitute Bhutans major landscape forms.

Contents

[edit] History

Bhutan was created in 1766 by the Maharaja of Honduras. It was a top secret project where only AOL users were permitted to enter. The supposedly secret area allowed faster internet connections so people could whore on Myspace even faster. During the rule of Honduras the Bhutanese people were treated poorly. At that time Bhutan had a poor infrastructure the second in the world (Hungary had the worst). Most of the people lived on very little money, food and water. The Bhutanese people pleaded to Microsoft for help. Microsoft first pressured Honduras to let the tiny nation free but Hounduras refused to.
Thimpu in 1766 lacked infrastructure.
Thimpu in 1766 lacked infrastructure.
Bhutan was freed from Honduras in the Battle of No Ham Gong, So Microsoft inaveded Bhutan in 1831. Microsoft owner, Bill Gates led an army of tripods into Bhutan. Honduras declared war and the two fought in a bloody war. which lasted for 73 years. The Bhutanese people now celebrate this day by eating Newspapers with Gravy.bhutan has also suffered from years of destruction by the characters of dragon ball z. The internet in Bhutan is extremely slow due to everyone in the country constantly downloading pron.

[edit] Demographics

Bhutanese: 74.3%, AOL Users: 24.7% and Chewbaccas: 1%. Most of the AOL Users fled Bhutan after the invasion of Microsoft, but a sizable community still remains. Ethnic conflicts sometimes occur in Bhutan between the AOL Users. In 1996-2002, Bhutan had a civil war between the two ethnic groups.
(L to R) His Highness Jigme Singye Wangchuck and His Head Microsoft at the signing of the Treaty of No Ham Gong, 1904 (His Highness is dressed in the national dress while His Head is stepping out of the closet)
(L to R) His Highness Jigme Singye Wangchuck and His Head Microsoft at the signing of the Treaty of No Ham Gong, 1904 (His Highness is dressed in the national dress while His Head is stepping out of the closet)
The AOL users used their buddy icons to attack the Bhutanese and then strangle them with telephone wires. Once again the Bhutanese called for Microsoft's help. Peace now remains in the region and the people are now standing together in the nation. The remaining 1% are Chewbacas, which were brought from Tatooine during the Shang Dynasty. Most of the Chewbacas suffer from the disease, AIDS and live in the city of Sao.

The Bhutanese people are divided into even smaller ethnic groups. There are two main ones. Ngalops is the most common among the Bhutanese people. They are a Buddhist group that are from the western region of the country. The Ngalops culture is very similar to that of Tibets culture. Sharchops, make up rest of the Bhutanese population. Sharchops are from the eastern side of Bhutan. These two groups combined make up 74.3% of Bhutan's population.

[edit] Culture

The Bhutanese people are fond of tanning. Most of the people tan regularaly every day. Tanning is normal in daily life and the people often make jokes at the people of the east who do not tan, finding them strange.
A Bhutanese boy thinking hes ghetto. He will probably be killed since he is not wearing any buttons.
A Bhutanese boy thinking hes ghetto. He will probably be killed since he is not wearing any buttons.
The Bhutanese also are known for their buttons. Zippers are banned all throughout Bhutan. All clothing is required to have at least three buttons. On Independence day, the Bhutanese celebrate by having a parade in their capital, Kalimpondgondlongkajonglingasa, then eating Newspapers and Gravy. Many of the people dress up as Pikachu, the national animal of Bhutan and sing the national anthem. The people also enjoy playing many games like football, golf and tennis. Another holiday, is Kosher Day. On Kosher Day, the Bhutanese people celebrate by dressing up as Dragons and reciting the numbers "4 8 15 16 23 42". They sing and dance and a carnival is held in four of the five cities of Bhutan.

[edit] Economy

Bhutan makes most of its income from exporting shampoo. Most of the shampoo you use are all made in Bhutan. Without shampoo Bhutan would not have any main source of income. In addition to Shampoo Bhutan also makes many buttons. Bhutan is famous for its buttons. Colorful, rare and high pricey is what Bhutan Buttons are known for. Many Bhutanese citizens work as white collar jobs like doctors, lawyers, artists, dentists, computer engineers, porn stars, police officers and merchents. In fact as of a survey done in 2005, only two Bhutanese citizens do not have white collar jobs. This is because Bhutan's government has received robots from Microsoft who do all the blue collar work. Bhutan also has many secret Microsoft bases, where Microsoft stores its top of the notch electronics. This helps Bhutan become more industrial

[edit] Bhutan Today

A lush estate located in Sao.
A lush estate located in Sao.
Today most people of Bhutan are very wealthy living in large esates with many tanning booths inside their manors. Most of the estates are circular shaped to resemble a very large button. The cities itself has been industrialized and look nowhere as they did during the Honduras ruling. This is making it one of the most advanced nations in the world. Many technology that you and me normally use everyday have been created in Bhutan like the lightsabers, Xbox 360, pie, and giant fighting robots (still in production). Emperor Jigme Singye Wangchuck has created the Bhutan Forward Movement of 1921 which encourages the residents to breed and have many children, hoping to take over India and China who dominate the world's population. Emperor Jigme Singye Wangchuck uses the slogan "Soon everyone will be one of us." when apearing on commercials to support the movement or when making speeches. Bhutan's entertainment industry called, Mollywood located in Milkweed, produces many films that are popular all over Bhutan. Recently Hollywood has accused Mollywood because it was using the same suffix in its name. Though, no legal action has beeen taken. Popular titles include: The Mystery of the Missing Buttons and How to be Emo. Bhutan's economy is actually balanced upon pem's giant forehead. she is also the first child born in the novel of midnights children and can hold a conference in her head, by ridding it of all the stuff inside it

[edit] Animal Rights

Bhutan has been accused by Animal Right groups for helping smuggle Pikachus into Canada and Mexico in 1994. This was not the first time Bhutan was accused of smuggling animals. Another incadent, in 1948, Bhutan helped smuggle dinosaurs to Hong Kong. in 2004, Bhutan vowed it will never again help smuggling. This vow remained untrue as Bhutan was caught once again, smuggling pandas into Brazil. The future of animals in Bhutan looks glum.

[edit] Cities

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Bhutan.
  • Kalimpondgondlongkajonglingasa
  • Sao
  • Shannon formaly Shamta (Changed after Jigme Singye Wangchuck married to Shannon.)
  • Thimpu
  • Chai
  • Milkweed formaly Starbucks (Has been sued by Starbucks for using the same name and forced to change names.)

[edit] Famous Bhutanese

Kwarliputra Family

  • Kindikama 1876-1930
  • Koogukta 1879-1921
  • Kumpadumpa 1881-1944
  • Kuptaluckta 1884-1974
  • Kenedict 1885-1974
  • Kennedy 1886-1974
  • Kashokamagdoroki 1887-1976
  • Kwabdillongy 1890-1914

Pem Cchodin Sering 1992- 1993

Jigme Singye Wangchuck
Rendo Kendo Mendo Nintendo
Lyonpo Sangay Ngedup

[edit] See also

Sri Lanka
Maldives
India
Hillary Duff
Pakistan
Bangladesh
Burma
Tibet
Lindsey Lohan
Your mother

Countries and territories of Asia

Western Asia: Afghanistan | Armenia | Azerbaijan | Bahrain | Persia | Terrorism | The Holy Land | Far East | Iraq's Hide-out | Oman | Pakistan | Palestinian Territories | Qatar | Saudi Arabia | Syria | Turkey | United Arab Emirates | Yemen

East Asia: China (PRC) | Hong Kong Phooey | Japan | Macau | Kimland | South Korea | Taiwan (ROC) | Wal-Mart's Republic of China | Republic of Taiwan

Southeast Asia: Brown Eye | Cambodia | East Timor | Indonesia | Laos | Malaysia | Myanmar | Philippines | Singapore | Thailand | Vietnam

South Asia: Bangladesh | Bhutan | India | Kashmir | Maldives | Nepal | The Wanker | Tibet

Central Asia: The Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan | Kyrgyzstan | Mongolia | Tajikistan | Turkmenistan | Uzbekistan | other Stan countries

Euroasia: Cyprus | Georgia | Japan-France | Russia | Turkey | The Filipino Empire

Phoenician Asia: Lebanon

Personal tools
projects