Bitch
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“Bitch better have my money!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Bitches
“Yeah I gots your money... I gots ALL YOUR MONEY. Lawl!”
~ Bill Gates on previous quote
Contents |
[edit] The Evolution of the Bitch
There are two theories on how they started, the first being Lars Ulrich makin' people be like him, the other is they evolved from Liberals. However, there is another theory that is still in progress, which is that the first bitches were in fact female dogs and were then adopted by coasties and cheerleaders everywhere. The poisonous bitch radiation then penetrated their stupid little heads and the assholes became proper, dyed-blonde-hair bitches. This theory seems likely but is frequently laughed at by bitchologists who think they are 'it' and according to criteria laid down by them are in fact bitches. There is a third theory recently stated by independent Croatian sciencists that will be anonymous. He says that bitches are the biological ancestors of rocks and stones. Rocks and stones evolved from bitches gaining more useful shape and bigger brains.
[edit] The Early Years
The bitch became popular again in the 19th Century when mr.anderson and Albert, the Royal Prince Consort began visiting Brighton nudist bitch and paraded around baring all and sundry. The his'n'hers tattoos sported on their backs also became a popular way to show affection to a life-partner and Prince Albert's "pinky-piercing" soon was all the rage around the British Empire According to Zack, bitches ain't shit "but hoes and tricks".
Around this time a new group, some say descended from the fop appeared. The Bitch Boys were a popular vocal harmonising combination who specialised in songs about the bitch. Amongst their more famous grammophonical recordings are the multi-platinum albums
- Sampling The Waves In A Manner Befitting That Of A Gentleman, UK
- Little Deuce Carriage
- Providing A Facial Expression Conducive To Expressing An Emotion Of Satisfaction or Pleasantness
- Several Sounds Originating With The Lower Order Of Mammalia, Specifically Of A Domesticated Nature
Oscar Wilde was famously a big Bitch Boys fan and was for a short period of time acting bursar of the fan club. He in fact provided the motto of the fan club which was displayed on the front page - "I had never seen white men with rhythm until I discovered The Bitch Boys. Ever since I have found myself discombobulated and suffering conniption fits. Although that could be all the opium I have been smoking"
[edit] Recent History
The bitch has seen a popular resurgence in recent years, perhaps thanks to the fact that totty and birds are often found on the bitch in a state of extreme undress. A popular item of clothing at the bitch for the young lady is called a thong and this has proved particularly popular with young gentlemen of a heterosexual bent, young women of a homosexual bent and either of a bisexual bent.
Iqaluit is a really popular bitch.
A "Be-arch" is a special type of bitch popular with gangsters "G's" and pimps or "peemps". They are often found on their knees in the back of limousines or shaking their larger than normal asses or "booty" on rap videos. See "Get your eagle on" by famous Elastoplast sporting gangster Nelly.
Recently the great bitch tribe called the shelbetians arte making an early run for the bitch of the year award. With such great insults as "your face" and bipolar breakup syndrom the shelbetians are taking bitch to a whole new level.
[edit] Bitches in computing
Bitch has a completely different meaning in computing terms. In binary, each digit is called a "bitch". One thousand bitches is called a "Killa'bitch" (KB), but the more common unit is one thousand and one bitches, which is known as a "Scheherezade" (SZ). There is also the term "menopausalbitch" (MB) which is rarely used as most nerds don't like trying to get any MBs to co-operate with their equipment. And of course, we mustn't forget the infamous GB, the "gestation period bitch". It is important to note the warning label placed on this particular amount of bitch before considering to "forget" your firewall or virus protection software. The amount of "bitches" one possesses is a popular subject for much bragging and boasting at various Sci-Fi conventions (e.g. The International Mad Scientist Convention) and most computer labs.
| Four Letter-Words |
|---|
| The A Word • The B Word • The C Word • The D Word • The E Word • The F Word • The G Word • The H Word • The I Word • The J Words • The K Words • The L Word • The M Word • The MF Word • The N Word • The Ñ Word • The O Word • The P Word • The Q Word • The R Word • The S Word • The T Word • The U Word • The V Word • The W Word • The X Word • The Y Word • The Z Word |
