Bible Code

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Prepare for the End Times! Learn all the horrifying details in The Bible Code!

THE FOLLOWING TEXT MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS AS TO THE WORLD'S DEMISE

God put secret messages in the Bible. Only recently has modern technology uncovered these prophecies. Really, I'm not kidding. And the scariest thing is that many of the events revealed have already happened. The book must be true! After all, hindsight is always murky at best. This book, however, reveals what has happened with crystal-clear accuracy. This is the word of the Lord.

[edit] Disclaimer

This page was paid for by The Friends of Michael Drosnin, Drosnin for Jesus 2012, and the Michael Drosnin Needs A New Boat Paid For By People Terrified Into Believing Foundation.

[edit] The Code Itself

What follows is every case of programming mentioned in the Bible. Christian computer users would do well to memorize these lines:

"But if the scall be in his sight at a stay, and that there is black hair grown up therein; the scall is healed, he is clean: and the priest shall pronounce him clean." - Leviticus 13:37

"But Absalom fled, and went to Talmai, the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day." II Samuel 13:37

"He answered and said unto them, He that soweth the good seed is the Son of man;" Matthew 13:37

"And what I say unto you I say unto all, Watch." Mark 13:37

"Peter said unto him, Lord, why cannot I follow thee now? I will lay down my life for thy sake." John 13:37

"But he, whom God raised again, saw no corruption." Acts 13:37

[edit] See also

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