Bill Nye the Science Guy
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President William Jefferson Clinton Nye also known as Chairman Billy Nye, Bill Nye the Guy, Bill Nye The guy Spy, Bill Nye the Jewish Guy, Bill Nye the Seance Guy, Bildo the Science Guy, and Bill Nye the Communist Guy (A former Soviet Russian Secret Agent) is the founder of Nye Chemical Corperation and a crazy dude who blew up on his self-titled children's television show, which also included sound effects crazy enough to drive someone insane. The series ran from 1978 to 2066, thanks to an accident on set during the filming of the time travel episode. He is also known for taking over the former state of Kazakhstan thus creating the Republic of Bill Nye the Science Guy.
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[edit] His Life
It is a little known fact to most that Bill Nye was born from a hairless growth on Einstein's back in .001 ABU(after the beginning of universe, also that he was born with a spinning head (as shown in the title sequence). However, this... birth defect was resolved a few mere decades after his birth. Among his greatest achievements, he killed Oscar Wilde, invented Water, started the American Revolution, ended the American Revolution, the first man to huff kitten, and he pwned the first noob. He also invented fucking every word in a sentence.
In first grade, he graduated college, with penis pal Steven Hawking. In 1839 Bill started the A-Team with Stephen Colbert, Mr. Leet, some guy, and Brak. This A-Team was more productive and had a cooler van that the TV Series. During this time, he invented Steven Hawking's voice and made "soi" something it couldn't pronounce.
In his early teens before becoming "The Science Guy", Bill worked for a gay porn company. His last porn video created was entitled "Look at this Bonr". This tape had millions of tits on many online websites. Because of his success he was then called "Dildo the Science Toy".
Bill Attempted a carreer in Fettish Films, but after the failure of his first film, Two Cats, One Cup, he was forced to sell his copyrights and move on to the world of Science. His Plot was carried on by a Brazillian Fettish master in the internet shock classic Al Gore's Nobel Acceptance Speech.
[edit] Inventing the Internet
One of the most popular episodes of the series showed that Bill Nye is the true inventor of the Internet, though he did have some help from Oscar Wilde. Sloppy editing resulted in the rumor that Oscar Wilde had created the Internet, when in reality all Wilde did was help Nye develop the Internet server program which was based on Hexatridecimal. After he invented the Internet, Bill created Starbucks because he had nothing better to do. He was also addicted to heroine at the tender age of 67.
[edit] Iraqi Collaboration
Nye (as in "The End is Nye"), was listed on the U.S. Occupation Forces' "dick of cards" as a 3 of Clubs, and was noted for his long-standing work at developing lethal bacteriological and chemical weapons, along with sophisticated delivery systems. He was captured by Oscar Wilde.
[edit] Attempts at Cloning
An attempt to clone the series for British television in the 1990s failed dramatically, resulting in the release of several Bill Nighys into the wild. This is somewhat ironic, because Bill Nye himself was the first clone constructed entirely out of stem-cell research and broken dreams.
[edit] Conflicts with Scientology
After the release of the book Dianetics, Bill put on a press conference proving the whole thing wrong. Bill returned to his house (located in a spaceship designed by Doctor Evil along side Oscar Wilde) to find it had been broken into. Inside he found Tom Cruise jumping up and down on his bed like a fag. This made Bill so mad he blew up all the churches of Scientology using giant atom nuke bombs. The next time Bill was seen, he was boiled in a hotel bathroom with carrots.
[edit] Love Life
Bill was scarred for life when his father, Jay Leno was caught fucking a Teletubbie (presumably the orange one). This incident left him so emotionally scarred that his marriage to journalist / oboist Blair Tindall lasted a mere seven weeks. The rocky marriage came to a head when Tindall came out with a music video titled "I Faked My Orgasm" featuring baseball player Johnny Damon. In retaliation, Bill Nye produced a similar video featuring football player Ben Rothlisberger. This video was perfomed live on Nye's television program but backfired when it was discovered that his orgasm was actually genuine. Tindall soon divorced Nye, who later came to terms with this, and found out he was gay. During those tough years of tranition, he usually was found cross dressing and said it was part of his show. Liar. He was also romantically linked to Oscar Wilde, but that did not last long because of opposite religios beliefs. He briefly dabbled in bestiality, an interest which was to produce legendary hero Star Fox. Later on, though he met the love of his life: Swiss Cheese. A wonderful bod, a sensitive mind... but the bastard never came out. Nooooo, he had to have a ton of mistresses to hide it. While that was fine for Bill, he got tired and cheated on him for Ryan Seacrest. Cheese got mad and got drunk when he found out, and started saying something about 2 = mc squared or something. Heartbroken, Bill turned to autofellatio, kitten huffing and pimping. He was with some whore who passed out on the street to prove he's not gay, but he decided to move on with life, and so now is a male stripper whose trademark is his weatherman routine ($70). He has been recently seen being raped by Dick Cheney's Chainy Dick.
