Billions and billions

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The wife of Billions and billions, No doubt Weighing billions and billions, who also travels all over the US for the next McDonald's to eat at.

Billions and billions is widely regarded as McDonald's best (and most fat) customer. For every McDonald's he eats at, they put "Billions and billions served" underneath the sign to show that he ate there. He eats McDonald's three meals a day, if you didn't know already.

Before him, McDonald's best customers changed from time to time, from "Over 01 Billion" to "Over 99 Billion". Since the death of Over 99 Billion, Billions and billions has taken over and reigned as their best customer for over 20 years.

Billions and billions at his computer, getting directions to McDonald's and a crane to carry him there.

1 Life of Crime
2 Trivia
3 Recently
4 See Also

[edit] Life of Crime

Due to his excessive bodyweight and astronomically large body to bodyfat ratio (98.99%) he is impervious to bullets, rockets, anti-tank guns, roundhouse kicks, etc. Because of this, he sought a life of crime and quckly became America's most wanted criminal, known to simply waddle his way past S.W.A.T teams firing at him, he is feared by all of the State police force. Using his huge fortune, which is Billions and Billions, he goes out and buys food from all McDonalds restaurants and even some more 'high class' places.

[edit] Trivia

Billions and billions is the world's fattest person. He weighs 32 tons. He can't seem to lose weight because he can't fit through the doors at the gym down town and the dietitian's office is smaller than he is.
You know he's coming to your local McDonald's when the road to it is cracked and you hear giant stomping sounds.
He's the only person who's fart can necessitate the evacuation of the entire state.
Same with the burp.
His house is built on 11 layers of cinder block, and even then the foundation manages to crack under the weight.
That's enough weight jokes, don't you think?
I hope Billions and billions doesn't read this.
Really.
I don't want to become his next meal.
That would be awkward.
That line should have been above the one before it.

[edit] Recently

Billions and billions was offered a spot on TLC's "Big Medicine", however this offer was later withdrawn as they didn't have a camera lens with a wide enough angle.

Last month, Billions and billions contacted a doctor (by meeting one at McDonald's, as his fingers were too fat to dial the office's number) to try to manage his weight. His doctor's first advice was to stop eating at McDonald's, however after hearing this, Billions quickly dismissed him as "one fucked up quack." After seeing 30 other doctors, and receiving the same advice, he put aside conventional medicine and turned to an obscure church, The Orthodox Church of Cheeseburgers, that has alleged ties to fast food industries. To many, this is not surprising, considering communion has been replaced with potato chips, chrism is old vegetable oil, babies are baptized with Sprite, and the wine is actually flat Coca-Cola. They also worship by starting prayer with the Sign of No Weight Loss: "In the name of the Burger, the Bun, and the Holy Roast. Amen

With the upcoming 2008 Presidential elections, and universal health care being put on the table, many people have came out in opposition to universal health care so they don't have to pay for his daily emergency room visits with their tax dollars. The President would have to raise income tax up to 99% to cover Billions' hospital bills alone. No one wants that.