Billy Ocean
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Billy MotherFucking Ocean born Leslie Sebastian MotherFucking Charles, 21 January 1950, Fyzabad, Trinidad) is a famous musician born Johann Steinholdt Wilson and the 34th President of the United States. His first producer described his voice as 'a billy goat yelling in the ocean,' hence the name. He has amazing powers to pull people from his sleep-induced mind imagery (see dreams) and into automobiles. Also invented the computer game and springtime mating ritual, Q-Bert. Interestingly, he shares the same dream as many other individuals.
Considered by many to be the most awe-inspiring landmark on the face of the planet. Can only be viewed in his full capacity by astronauts hovering in space.
Breaking news: Mr. Billy Ocean has officially been announced as the new mayor of Atlantis II (formerly known as New Orleans, AKA "The City Formerly Known As ф"). As of last week, he has moved into his aqua mansion, and will rule over his underwater kingdom with an iron fist and displays of mediocre talent such as "Caribbean Queen" and "Get outta my dreams, get into my car".
“There's no visual more stimulating than Billy Ocean at dawn.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Billy Ocean
[edit] Hits
- Suddenly
- An ode to puppy dogs everywhere
- Carribean Queen
- An ode to a Caribbean homosexual that Billy once dated.
- There'll Be Bad Lungs (To Make You Die)
- A charity song for cancer relief, recorded after the untimely death of Canadian broadcaster Peter Jennings. Remake of one of Billy's minor Norwegian hits.
- My Shiny, Purple Cock Head
- Attributed to Billy but more likely recorded by Jessica Simpson.
| Earth's Fifteen Oceans |
| Antarctic Ocean ~ Atlantean Ocean ~ Atlantic Ocean ~ Billy Ocean ~ Boiling Pitch Ocean |
| Dawson's Creek ~ Indian Ocean ~ Martian Ocean ~ Mediterranean |
| Ocean Connery ~ Pacific Ocean ~ Phlegmatic Ocean ~ Russian Ocean ~ Southern Ocean |
| Preceded by: Sentient Coin | President of the United States 849-998 AD | Succeeded by: Calvin Coolidge |
| Mythical United States Presidents |
|---|
|
1st Eris Discordia → George Washington Carver → Billie Jean → Ruby Tuesday → Escape Key → Spark Notes → Jayson Blair → Garfield → Elvis Presley → 10th Thomas Jefferson → Michael Jordan → Ronald McDonald → Doris Day → Ayn Rand → Kermit the Frog → Teddy Ruxpin → Aretha Franklin → King Kong → Barbie → 20th Escape Key (2) → Fillard Millmore → Grover Cleveland → Harper Lee → Grover Cleveland (2) → Beetle Bailey → Grover Cleveland (3) → Abraham Lincoln → Chevy Trailblazer → Elton John → 30th The Unknown Bassist → Satan → Nicole Ritchie → Billy Ocean → Calvin Coolidge → Tom Cruise → Charles Nelson Reilly → Bill Clinton → George W. Bush → 40th Dick Cheney → Saddam Hussein → Ashlee Simpson → Emmanuel Lewis → Calvin Klein → John Kerry → Lyndon Baines Johnson → Jerry Seinfeld → Oprah Harpo 5932 → Bill Clinton v 2.0 → 50th Zsa Zsa Gabor → Madonna → Me → Your mom → Jesus H. Christ → Teeth → 56th Bob |
