Blonds

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(Redirected from Bimbo)

Blondes ar A spesific speeshees of wimin. They kan bee recognizde manely bi there hare color, witch is normally sumwere between a yelowish-wite and a darc-ish yellowy color. Those wimin hoo clame two bee blonds (and their are mani of them), butt don't hav hare in thees colors, ar actuali not blond. Generally, 95% of wimin that apear two bee blond are actuali brunets and redheds hoo ar jelus of blonds acurat speling and the atenshun natral bimbose- I meen blonds get. !!

1 How to recognize a blonde
2 Why men like blondes so much
3 Why all the blonde jokes?
4 Why are blondes so dumb
5 Common Statistics
6 Famous blondes

[edit] How to recognize a blonde

Blondes can like normally be recognized by their completely natural hair colour and their intelligence you know. They are often characterized as ditzy and air-headed umm,AND THEY ARE but actually the blondes are brilliant (no, not really, they are OBSESSED with their titties), and like totally misunderstood creatures who are planning a massive takeover of California (they are so dumb, how else would they do it except sleep with every political leader in california). All blondes are born with 500 less brain cells than brunettes and redheads, which enable them to fuck a guy over and over an over and keep coming back for more even though he says, "leave me alone, you crazy psycho bitch" They usually have typically perfect breasts(which make them prostitutes, they are most often found in strip clubs and sucking mens penises). They are also the ones going around saying i don't get it and do I look fat? They can also be the ones found at local goth shops trying to look all hardcore in all that black,they say it's slimming..that MUST be the reason.

[edit] Why men like blondes so much

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Men prefer blondes over redheads, but not brunettes.Blondes control men with their boobs and thats it. Brunettes are far superior because they are not only insanely hott, they are also SMART, which is a novel concept for most blondes. Men are easy targets when you have 500 brain cells too few. The way blondes look is just an optical illusion. When they all get together for their tri-annual meeting, they shed their perfect, untouchable looks for their true identities. They turn into slender, silvery aliens with freakishly large purple eyes. Only green-haired people can see through this disguise. Unless, of course, they had to dye their hair this unnatural vile color, as finding a natural green head is near impossible. the blonde aliens have created a safe facade for themselves. I know the truth though.

Blondes' titties have x-ray guns, if you have seen the SEcond Austin Powers movie then you know this well enough.

[edit] Why all the blonde jokes?

see Blonde Jokes

The jokes about blondes have been made by the blondes themselves. This is because they want to confuse their enemies. The plan is to make people laugh so bad, that they might die from it. So far, the plan hasn't been succesful, as we all can see. People laugh much about it. Let's just face it: the jokes about blond bimbos are not funny enough. The blondes have now started to work on a new plan. Their secret headquarters is stationed right under the South Pole. Actually, they had planned to place it on the North Pole, but they did like Columbus, and went the wrong way. The reason why they wanted to go to the North Pole, was because they wanted to be closer to Santa Claus.

[edit] Why are blondes so dumb

The truth is, blondes' boobs practically control them. The reason they are so dumb is because when god made them, he installed a special chip. This chip "controls" how fast their boobs grow (if it doesn't work then they get plastic surgery to make there boobs bigger). Here is how it works: A blonde is asked, "How many sides are on an octagon?". Before she can say the right answer, 8, the chip in her boobs redirects her. She shifts from side to side, moving her boobs and trying to act seductive. Moving them also helps the chip work better. This is what she is now thinking: Well, an octopus lives in the ocean. The ocean is blue. There are 4 letters in blue. So her answer would be 4. This is how the chip works.

[edit] Common Statistics

96% of blondes have an IQ of 69, making them obsessed with sex
85% of men have had sex with a blonde
The 15% that haven't are either gay or want to avoid AIDS.
The average blonde score on the SAT's are 350. (Q: Wait, I thought the minimum was 600! A: They spelled their names wrong)
The average bra size for a blonde is a D-cup.
The average grade for a blonde is also a D.
And that's because 70% of middle school male teachers are actually pedophiles who stare at the blondes' boobs.
The average price for a blonde prostitute is $90/hr. In comparison, the average price for a brunette prostitute is $5/hr.