Bitch

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“Bitch better have my money!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Bitches

“Yeah I got your money,I got ALL YOUR MONEY ”

~ Bill Gates on previous quote

“Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?”

~ Wayne Brady on Bitches

“He pwned that bitch all on tha flo!”

~ Nellie on Chris Benoit killing his wife.

“ Yeah my mother's one.”

~ Snoop Dog on Bitches

“Master Toto say what'd you say Bitch?”

~ Master Toto

“She wrote the book on this.”

~ Eric Cartman on Kyle's Mom

“Yo niggas, any1 seen that sexy bitch?”

~ Non-stereotypically Black Steve

“He steals from the poor, and gives to the rich, stupid bitch.”

~ Invisible Choir on Dennis Moore and his redistribution of wealth

Here you can see the coolest guy ever showing the proper way to bitch about nothing. He can also be ordering a bitch to shut up. Basically, he is being his cool self about a bitch.

1 The Evolution of the Bitch
2 The Early Years
3 Recent History
4 Bitch Parties
5 Bitches in computing
6 Famous Bitches
7 Known pronunciations

[edit] The Evolution of the Bitch

An early axample of a Bitch Numbuh 86. Here she is seen bitching about something, or maybe she's bitching about nothing.

There are two theories on how they started, the first being Lars Ulrich makin' people be like him, the other is they evolved from Liberals. However, there is another theory that is still in progress, which is that the first bitches were in fact female dogs and were then adopted by coasties and cheerleaders everywhere. The poisonous bitch radiation then penetrated their stupid little heads and the assholes became proper, dyed-blonde-hair bitches. This theory seems likely but is frequently laughed at by bitchologists who think they are 'it' and according to criteria laid down by them are in fact bitches. Theres a third theory recently stated by independent croatian sciencists that will be anonymous. He says that bitches were antendency to rocks and stones. Rocks and stones evolved from bitch gaining more useful shape and bigger brains.

[edit] The Early Years

The bitch became popular again in the 19th Century when mr.anderson and Albert, the Royal Prince Consort began visiting Brighton nudist bitch and paraded around baring all and sundry. The his'n'hers tattoos sported on their backs also became a popular way to show affection to a life-partner and Prince Albert's "pinky-piercing" soon was all the rage around the British Empire According to Zack, bitches ain't shit "but hoes and tricks".

Around this time a new group, some say descended from the fop appeared. The Bitch Boys were a popular vocal harmonising combination who specialised in songs about the bitch. Amongst their more famous grammophonical recordings are the multi-platinum albums

Sampling The Waves In A Manner Befitting That Of A Gentleman, UK
Little Deuce Carriage
Providing A Facial Expression Conducive To Expressing An Emotion Of Satisfaction or Pleasantness
Several Sounds Originating With The Lower Order Of Mammalia, Specifically Of A Domesticated Nature

Oscar Wilde was famously a big Bitch Boys fan and was for a short period of time acting bursar of the fan club. He in fact provided the motto of the fan club which was displayed on the front page - "I had never seen white men with rhythm until I discovered The Bitch Boys. Ever since I have found myself discombobulated and suffering conniption fits. Although that could be all the opium I have been smoking"

[edit] Recent History

A Bitch in the local news.

The bitch has seen a popular resurgence in recent years, perhaps thanks to the fact that totty and birds are often found on the bitch in a state of extreme undress. A popular item of clothing at the bitch for the young lady is called a thong and this has proved particularly popular with young gentlemen of a heterosexual bent, young women of a homosexual bent and either of a bisexual bent.

Iqaluit is a really popular bitch.

A "Be-arch" is a special type of bitch popular with gangsters "G's" and pimps or "peemps". They are often found on their knees in the back of limousines or shaking their larger than normal asses or "booty" on rap videos. See "Get your eagle on" by famous Elastoplast sporting gangster Nelly.

“Like, who the fuck is this bitch? You ain't better than me”
:~ Paris Hilton on the "Biggest bitch" which is a title she holds.

Recently the great bitch tribe called the shelbetians arte making an early run for the bitch of the year award. With such great insults as "your face" and bipolar breakup syndrom the shelbetians are taking bitch to a whole new level.

[edit] Bitch Parties

A bitch party is a social gathering whereby several friends and up to 200 other people or "free-loaders" come together to celebrate the bitch and all that it has offered mankind.

Bitch parties involve barbecues, beer and waking up with a really bad headache next to someone particularly ugly with sand stuck in your happy zone. The bitch party has been blamed for the resurgence of binge drinking in young adults which causes no end of social anxiety.

Sociological studies into binge drinking show that it simply a way of identifying with ancient Vikings and that we should not be surprise with all the youngsters raping and pillaging.

[edit] Bitches in computing

Bitch has a completely different meaning in computing terms. In binary, each digit is called a "bitch". One thousand bitches is called a "Killa'bitch" (KB), but the more common unit is one thousand and one bitches, which is known as a "Scheherezade" (SZ). There is also the term "menopausalbitch" (MB) which is rarely used as most nerds don't like trying to get any MBs to co-operate with their equipment. And of course, we mustn't forget the infamous GB, the "gestation period bitch". It is important to note the warning label placed on this particular amount of bitch before considering to "forget" your firewall or virus protection software. The amount of "bitches" one possesses is a popular subject for much bragging and boasting at various Sci-Fi conventions (e.g. The International Mad Scientist Convention) and most computer labs.