Black Cat (comics)
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Black Cat is a comic book character from a successful Marvel Comics book, Spider-Man. Her real name is Felicia Isa Hard, and she grew up in the frozen lands of Russia with her mother Amber TitzR Hard, and her step-father Johnathan Teenycock. Living in Russia was hard for Felicia, especially as she couldn't speak Russian, and so she later traveled to New York where she became a super hero under the codename Black Cat, working along side her long time lover, Spider-Man. Spider-Man and Felicia later got married and conceved a spider-cat hybrid child. This child later killed Black Cat and Spider-Man.
[edit] Powers and abilities
Initially, the Black Cat had no superhuman abilities, however she won some in a Christmas cracker and was overjoyed. Although not a mutant her ability to affect probability fields were much like those of the Scarlet Witch, who threatened to sue Felicia. The main difference is that the Scarlet Witch can control her abilities (unless a huge House of M style event is required) whereas Felicia's powers kick in under stress; when stressed she is subconsciously able to cause anyone in her immediate vicinity that she perceives as a threat to be susceptible to freak accidents, such as guns jamming and exploding, tripping on objects, dead seagulls falling from the sky or (in the case of Janet Jackson) causing latest albums to flop in the charts.
It is exactly because of the threat of these "stress induced accidents" that Felicia was turned down for Celebrity Big Brother in 2007, so the producers plumped for Jade Goody instead. Wise move. Not.
After some magical tampering by Dr Stephen Weirdo, Felicia was temporarily endowed with cat-like abilities, giving her retractable talons in her fingertips, superhuman speed and strength, and glow-in-the-dark pee. However she also craps in a box in the corner of her kitchen, runs up the curtains when bored and eats rats.
The Black Cat has reflexes, agility, and stamina of an Olympic level acrobat, namely Duncan Goodhew. She is also, like Duncan, bald as a coot, so she wears a startling white wig.
She is also excellent on street fighter, the PS2 version, capable of taking on several armed male assailants and incapacitating them without being injured herself by performing a number of combo moves.
Her clothing is extremely distracting and sexy (due to its skin-tight shape and plunging v-neck that exposes her ample cleavage), making it difficult for a male assailant to concentrate on what he is doing. She also has rotating nipples. 6 of them. This also baffles her male assailants.
[edit] Sworn Enemies
Despite her antipathy towards men, Felicia felt a king-pin-ship with the lone hero, Spider-man. Spider-Man was the first man she felt she could trust and she grew to believe herself in love with him, even though she had never seen his face. It was like Blind date, without Cilla Black or the sliding screen, and without the awful puns. However Peter realised that as most cats eat spiders, their relationship was doomed, and so married an air-head model called Mary Jane Watson instead. Felicia believed Mary Jane "stole" Peter away from her, and so the two often argued and fought, but this infact hid their lesbian feelings for each other, and some sex-tapes of the two found themselves onto Youtube. Nevertheless, Felicia is not above referring to MJ as "Mary Plain" when arguing with Peter about their previous relationship, and MJ has also been known to refer to Felicia as " that fucking bitch". The two have an ongoing battle as to whom has the greatest fellation abilities. The winner of this contest is most often Peter Parker aka the Amazing Spider-Man.
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| Superheroes and heroines | Captain Planet - The Amazing Fiber-Man - Spider-Woman - Mary Jane - The Incredible Hunk - Black Cat - Daredevil - Dr. Strange - Iron Man - The Punisher - Conan the Barbarian - Ghost Rider - Igloo - The other Captain Marvel |
| Supervillains | Venom - Dr. Doom - Emperor Galactus of the World and Universe - Juggernaut - Mecha-Dracula - Rob Liefeld - Batroc - Kool-Aid Man - Loki - Fred Phelps - Venom - Dr. Octopus |
| X-Men | Professor X - Apocyclopse - Gene Grey - Beast - Wolverine - Bishop - Cable the Larry Guy |
| Salacious Six | Sr. Tentacles - The Grand Mysterious R2-D2 Recolor - The Wang - Steve Irwin - Sabertooth |
| Other teams | The Revengers - The Fantastic Four - The Omnipotent Seven |
