Black People

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Warning: This article might contain racism.
Check the movie and edit this article accordingly if it contains one or more of the following:
Swastikas, white robes, Morgan Freeman, South Africa as it looked in the 1970s,
Zimbabwe as it looks today,
AK-47s, Muslims, one-armed black people, fried chicken, product placement or Linux.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Black People.

Two typical black people.

If you are a racist, you are unlikely to enjoy this page about Black People which contains hardly any hideous racial slurs kill whity or stereotypes (for that, you might try the other article we have). ^[1]

Thanks to the killjoys from the political correctness movement, it's no longer socially acceptable to be openly racist. Because bigots can no longer openly discuss their beliefs, some are even beginning to forget that they are racists! Take the following test to see if you are keeping it real:

Question 1: Michael Jackson is.....

A) Black
B) You are a fucking nasty little Nazi. Of course he's black, he's an African American and for better or for worse no skin cream accident will ever change that. Black people know it, white people know it, only halfwit redneck hicks are in any doubt.

1 And now... down to business
- 1.1 Things black people can't do
2 Black people in other cultures
- 2.1 Wiggers
- 2.2 Trivia
3 The Black Market
4 See also
5 Footnotes
6 External links

And now... down to business

Blacks are soooo racist.

“Fo Shizzle My Nizzle”

~ Snoop Dogg on Something or another

“I honestly don't really care”

~ George W. Bush on Black People

“It started as a joke”

~ God on Black People

“You know Mark, watching this game I really can't understand why black people don't just take over the world”

~ John Motson

“No, please, I don't want trwable!”

~ Jackie Chan on Black people

Behind you!

The term "black" as applied to "black people" is actually a misnomer; there are many gradations of skin tone seen on people of African descent, but none of them are actually black. In fact, aside from their trombone cocks, black people have absolutely nothing going for them. Unfortunately, the term "Brown People" has already been trademarked by the United Parcel Service.

This dog is a goddamned gollywog!

Black people come in all shapes and sizes... Jolly fat ones, little shifty looking ones and just regular average Joe type ones. it is also a well known fact that BLACK PEOPLE ALWAYS WIN. Black people from northern Europe tend to be blonde and blue eyed, those from the Mediterranean are usually olive skinned, while the Celtic black person is often pale and ginger. This makes them very difficult to identify, but there are some tell tale signs which will give them away:

Things black people can't do

An example of the average white person's beautiful hair. Note how much more restrained and attractive it looks.

There are some things black people are completely incapable of....

Edit this page. It's clear from the poor content of this page that no black person has ever even seen it.
Take a joke lightly. Even the slightest joke on their nappy hair, large penis, or fat ass(females) will cause a black person to throw shit at you.
Suck at athletic sports. There are few African Americans who play Golf, drive in NASCAAR, play Hockey, or participate on the swimming teams. Blacks play real sports like Football, Basketball, Baseball among others. Gofl, Swimming, Hockey, and Nascaar were inexplicably named "sports" somehow. When really these things should be labeled as "Recreational Activities That Don't Require much athletic skill".

Black people in other cultures

It is a widely accepted fact among religious fundamentalists that it is against the will of God and nature to be born with any skin color darker than the palest of ivories (this statement does not include the back of the neck, which can be any color, though bright red is preferable). Though not specifically forbidden in the Holy Bible, it is at least highly objected-to on most right-wing talk radio programs, which amounts to the same thing. Black people can be also be rednecks, although it is harder to see it.

Wiggers

In the same way that some youngsters have an old person trapped inside them dying to get out, and some men have an uncontrollable urge to wear dresses, some white people are white on the outside, but black on the inside. These people are known as wiggers, and generally get mad respect from other white people for their courage in breaking down racial stereotypes. Identification of a wigger is usually simple; however, we have outlined some tell-tale signs below.

Use of perceived "black" vocabulary while addressing randomly selected caucasian bystanders. This technique is designed to cause extreme embarrassment to the target, and rarely fails.
Spontaneous breakdancing in public areas. Just move along, sir, nothing to see here.
Dreadlocks. Bonus points if the hair in question is blond; it should also be full of dust, fleas, and the occasional stray twig, due to their lack of knowledge as to how to clean it.
Insane levels of solidarity are common among groups of wiggers (known as wigwams), possibly due to their rarity in normal society.

There are 27 black people in this picture.

Trivia

Unlike white people, who have normal first names and weird-ass last names (like Ted Barlow), black people have weird-ass first names and normal last names (Sha'queentia Davis). Although George Agdgdgwngo is an exception, Having a normal first name and a normal last name (like Mike Davies) suggests that the person might be a redneck, like George W. Bush. And if you have both stupid first and last name, please move back to Europe.

The Black Market

The Black Market is a car boot sale held on the first and third Sunday of every month, in Chigwell Rise, (Next to David Lloyd fitness), Chigwell, Essex, UK. For the best bargains arrive early!! It's run by black people, but everyone is welcome.