Blindness
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“Aah, to be young and blind..”
~ Ray Charles on his memory
“.:.. :'::.. :'. ..:': ::'.:”
~ Braille Translation of the above quote on Ray Charles' Memories
“.:.. :'::.. :'. ..:': ::'.:.:.. :'::.. :'. ..:': ::'.:”
~ Braille Translation of the braille translation of the above quote on Ray Charles' Memories
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HAHA BLIND PEOPLE CANT SEE ... THEY'RE AFRAID OF THE DARK!!
Blindness, like life, is a sexually transmitted disease and is also the effect of masturbation, which in turn gives blind people nothing to do but masturbate. The phrase "you could take someone's eye out with thakjhgkk7t kjhgt thing" would make an appropriate example of the cause of blindness but the phrase is copyright of Novell (Often shortened to IO, Novell claims that it owns any and all instances of IO) and as such cannot be used here. At All.
Blindness is a visual impairment most easily characterised by the complete transparency of the eye balls. This prevents photosynthesis from occurring and therefore the eyes cannot function. Blind people often enjoy flying and defecating cannonballs. The occular transparency often leads to the misconception that blind people have no eyes.
Color blindness
Color blind people are basically just people who are too stupid to see the difference between red and green thus causing a lot of even stupider people to ask the following:
“Then how do they know what color it is on traffic lights when they are driving a car?!”
~ Really stupid person on Color blindness
Would you give a license to someone who's too stupid to see the difference between red and green??
Existing records of people with colour blindness (steming back to the 1800's) include chracters such as 'stupid people', 'retards' and 'Calum Newton'.
Identifying the blind
“What is it about the blind that makes them want to walk the dog?”
~ Swift
“In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.”
~ Marco Maria Sangiorgio on Cyclopism
The speech of the blind is often slurred due to the fact that they are inhertently jealous of other disabilities and enjoy mocking the deaf.
Upon contracting blindness the victim loses all respect for their lives and the lives of others. As such, blind people are often seen committing acts of criminal vandalism. In an attempt to rectify this problem the Government has issued specially trained 'Guide Dogs'. These animals seek out and actively prevent the blind from breaking the peace. Studies show the favourite criminal act of the blind is Jaywalking.
If You Are Reading This You Are Not Blind
If you are blind, chances are your other senses are highlighted (see: Daredevil), despite popular belief this includes Oscar Wilde's fashion sense.
As of tomorrow, blindness will become a thing of yesterday, as cybernetic eyeballs are becoming more readily available.
It is widely known that all blind people are taking the piss, as they can gain access to special lady areas and get free dogs.
Blindess can be induced by seeing Rosie O'Donnell naked. This is probably the reason her wife cannot match her clothes when she goes out in public.
Famous Blind People:
- Eyeless Jack
- Ray Charles
- Geordie LaForge
- Paula Abdul
- All of your ex-girlfriends.
- Carol
- Inez Weski
- Stevie Wonder
- George W. Bush
- Jonathan Davis (CoRn's lead singer, please reverse all R's while reading)
