Blinker fluid
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“I can't find the blinker fluid reservoir!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Blinker fluid
“...”
~ Claude Speed on Blinker fluid
“Strawberry flavored blinker fluid, anyone?”
~ Strawberry Shortcake on Blinker fluid
“This blinker fluid stuff's rawther ridiculous; my friends laughed at me when I ask for one...”
~ Eloise on Blinker fluid
A vital component of today's modern transportation system, blinker fluid lubricates the electrons emitting from a vehicle's turn signal lamps. It is suitable for both front and rear blinkers, despite some disreputable retailers that market two identically formulated versions for each end.
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[edit] Manufacture
This lubricant is processed from light oils found in animals such as the Nauga, Dodo bird, and from skin shed from the Loch Ness Monster. Once used primarily to refill Pontiac Firefly radiators, producers have adapted this versatile chemical to facilitate efficient light transmission for all domestic cars and trucks.
[edit] Maintenance
The recommended service interval for blinker fluid is every 20,000 blinks or February 29th, whichever occurs first. Disposal of expired fluid is complex, but most any service centre will gladly send your used fluid for illegal dumping for a nominal fee.
Note that blinker fluid for Ford's Mercury line of cars contains high levels of mercury, which is a toxic metal and poses a danger to the environment if not disposed of properly. The Dodge Neon, however, uses an inert neon gas to power all accessories - environmentally safer, but the system must be recharged periodically by a professional.
[edit] Side Effects
Health problems: The AMA has determined blinker fluid is safe for consumption, but does note it is not very appetising, with a flavour akin to a combination of Fresca and Tab. It is an inert substance, but if a cat or dog consumes it, they will possibly start talking Yiddish.
Do avoid spills of blinker fluid into sensitive electronic equipment. After spilling some into a computer keyboard, now it works it doesn't work it works it doesn't work
Also keep in mind that light beer, while somewhat similar in chemical composition to blinker fluid, is not interchangeable with any of the automotive fluids. Its high water content renders it unsuitable for automotive applications as it will rust and damage your turn signals.
[edit] Suppliers
A primary supplier of blinker fluid is the company Kalecoauto, who can be found on the internets and sometimes sleeping behind the dumpster in the alley.
Always be sure to use the correct type and viscosity of blinker fluid for your make and model of vehicle, based on recommendations from the manufacturers. Note that left-handed blinker fluid is not interchangeable with its right-handed counterpart; blinker fluid manufactured for the UK market may not be used in vehicles manufactured for US drivers.
